OVER 500 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR LOVERS, YOUR FRIENDS, YOURSELF…AND TO KEEP ON YOUR COFFEE TABLE.
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Women rule everything around me.
I come from a long line of women who run the world: theirs, mine, and ours. When I turned thirty, I looked around a dimly lit room at the incredible women who had come before me, stood beside me, and whose daughters now look up to me. In awe of the collective matriarchal energy - the compassion, grit, nurture, strength, wisdom, the complete and total badassery - I found myself wishing I could stop time and savor being in their presence. Knowing that this energy could be preserved but not contained, I did what I thought would capture their essence best: I asked them questions, 20 of them to be exact.
I asked them about their favorite things, their deepest fears, their feelings of joy and inadequacy, their friendships, their families, their sex lives, their careers, and everything in between. I asked earnestly, they answered honestly and here, TLD HER: 20 Questions was born.
Since then, I have asked over 1,000 women the same 20 questions (anonymously) and have read the stories of strangers from all over the world. They have let me into some of their most private moments, their celebrations, their failures, their depth…and have allowed me to publish their experiences for all to revel in the way that I do. The result? Community.
Questions open doors to conversations that otherwise may not be had. They invite intimacy where distance has grown and reveal truths we didn’t know we were hiding; they are pathways to connection. By asking questions, we gain perspective; we dip into the world of another, immerse ourselves in their experience, and return with a deeper understanding of our collective society and even ourselves.
The right questions challenge us to look inward—to reflect, to grow, and to become the women we are meant to be. In a world where the voices of others often drown out our own, asking the right questions can be a revolutionary act. I curated this book of questions for curious women who seek clarity and depth and are willing to say the quiet part out loud.
I believe that by asking questions, we gain insight into the world around us and strengthen our connections to the people we care about. Whether you’re navigating the complexities of love, seeking to build stronger friendships, or searching for a deeper understanding of who you are, this book offers a guide. These questions are not answers, nor do they claim to be. They are invitations—to explore, to connect, and to transform.
My hope for this book is that it becomes a trusted companion in the everyday moments of women’s lives. I imagine it being brought to girl’s nights, where laughter and connection flow as freely as the questions asked. I picture it resting on coffee tables, ready to spark meaningful conversations with loved ones, or being pulled out over a glass of wine with a partner, where it helps foster intimacy and understanding. I hope it serves as a personal tool for reflection—something women can turn to when they’re journaling or seeking a moment of introspection. May it be a guide, a conversation starter, and a gentle reminder to ask the questions that truly matter. May you enjoy asking, answering, and reading these questions as much as I enjoyed curating them. May we continue to connect, may we stay curious, and may women continue to rule everything around us.
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