Every week, I ask women the same 20 Questions (anonymously), here's what I've learned...

I’ve asked over 350 women of all ages the same set of 20 questions (anonymously) over the past year, here’s what I’ve learned.

“How am I doing? Not well, bitch!” (bonus points if you get that reference).

The first question I asked was simple: How are you, really?The answers were anything but. Very few women said they were doing “okay,” and even fewer described themselves as mentally, physically, or emotionally well. In fact, over 80% admitted they’re not well at all. Between the heaviness of the world, personal losses, constant pressure, and what one woman accurately called “soul exhaustion,” the message is clear—most women are running on empty. We are pouring from cups we haven’t had time to refill.

Inside out.

What became equally clear is that many women don’t actually know how to truly nurture themselves. We’re lighting candles, taking baths, cooking nourishing meals, dancing—but few of us ever feel recharged. The effort is there, but the restoration isn’t. The women who did report feeling well cared for shared something deeper in common: a spiritual relationship with themselves. They go inward when they need nurturing. Practices like deep introspection, forgiveness, prayer, and meditation weren’t just rituals, they are lifelines.

Nurture v. Nature.

…Or maybe they’re one and the same. Many women spoke about how profoundly nature nurtures them. A walk through the woods, time by the water, or even a few moments of fresh air has the power to reset the mind, calm the body, and free the soul.

Listen up.

While many women aren’t always sure how to nurture themselves, nearly all know how to create space for others to be seen and heard. “I listen” was the most common response when asked how women show care. Others spoke of showing up for loved ones, cooking and baking with intention, or simply offering a safe place for someone to express themselves.

Listening, it seems, is one of our greatest strengths. We listen deeply—to our friends, our partners, our children—with patience and empathy. But I can’t help but wonder: are we always listening to the right people? And what if we turned that same gift inward—creating space to speak, cry, release, and be heard by ourselves? Perhaps that’s the nourishment we’ve been missing all along—the kind that doesn’t come from holding space for others, but from finally taking it for ourselves.

Change is Inevitable and Welcomed.

Women are evolving. Whether we’re quitting habits, jobs, behaviors and people, moving to new cities, traveling the world, or even just shifting our mindsets, change is the only constant and we prefer it that way.

Getting Hot Hot Hot.

Women are turned on by kindness, intelligence, work ethic and even dominance, but the one thing that turns women on the most? GOOD HYGIENE. If you smell good, look kempt, shower often and have fresh breath, you have a solid chance of getting our number. If you’re also able to have deep conversation, are self-aware and have a high EQ, you have a solid chance of getting into our beds…well, a higher chance.

On the other hand, women name, lack of accountability, humanity, consideration and general intolerance for others as reasons for being turned off by potential partners.

The Balancing Act.

Many women say they’re searching for balance, yet when asked what that actually means, most can’t quite name it. It’s not that they don’t know what they want—it’s that the concept itself feels slippery, ever-changing. For some, balance means rest; for others, it’s freedom, stability, or simply feeling like themselves again. Whatever the definition, one truth remains the same: everyone is trying their best.

Risky Behavior.

Women are taking more risks than ever. With independence, financial freedom, and sheer audacity, we’re no longer waiting for the “perfect” moment to go after what we want. Every interviewee spoke of a risk that resulted in reward—proof that even when it feels uncomfortable, messy, or overwhelming, stepping into the unknown is always worth it.

The Missing Link.

Despite taking risks in all other areas, women are wary about leaping into love, stating that the one thing missing in their life is a romantic relationship. Between the current political divide, the desire for real connection over superficial conversation, the need for safety and stability and the lack of third spaces, women are having difficulty finding real love, on their terms. There was also something that stood out to me; the overwhelming number of women who stated that they felt like they weren’t ‘allowed’ to want love because it compromised their independence or strength. Which begs the question: in the year 2025, does love have to mean sacrifice?

Secondary to love, women find themselves lacking purpose and feeling like their career choices have led them to financial success, but not necessarily to fulfillment.

We Laugh and We Cry.

We laugh to keep from crying, we laugh until we cry, and sometimes, we laugh at the very things that once made us cry. Kids, animals, elderly people, nature, big celebrations, small moments, our friends, our families, our world…the duality of it all makes us feel, everything.

In Conclusion.

Women are as incredible as ever—perhaps even more so. This set of questions revealed just how exhausted we are, how much grief we carry, and how, on some days, survival is the only goal. There was more talk of depression than in previous sets, more vulnerability around the fear of the future, and a sense of unsteadiness that reflected the state of the world. Over the months of conducting these interviews, it became clear that the challenges in the country and the world are shaping not only how women feel, but how we engage with our communities. And yet, despite being depleted, uncertain, and at times overwhelmed, women rise to every occasion. We’re committed to raising conscious humans, working on ourselves, creating space for others, defending our planet—and through it all, women are loving, compassionate, caring, and strong as shit.

I’ve personally faced my own challenges over the past few months, and while I needed to step back for a time, this community has consistently shown up—creating space for me and supporting each other. I’m deeply grateful to be able to share these stories, amplify women’s voices, and provide a platform for women to be authentically and unapologetically themselves. Thank you, as always, to the women who make this project possible. I fucking love you.

A new set of 20 Questions is coming soon—reach out for your chance to participate!

Devyn