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#97. clearing your mind, physical challenges & making adult friends

Writer: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 27

Relationship Status:  Married

Occupation:  Engineer

Income:  $110,000

Astrological Sign: Capricorn


What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

I recently got a cat, and the first thing I do is check on her and make sure her breakfast dispensed .


What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

That I’m not a good enough friend, spouse, daughter, employee and that I am letting everyone around me down and making their lives worse.


What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

That I am smart and good at solving problems.


What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

How it doesn’t feel any different than being a teenager. I don’t feel like I am a grown-up any more than I did when I was 18, maybe even a little less.


What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

  1. Therapy.

  2. Not putting energy into people that bring you down. You don’t have to cut them out, but you also don’t have to let them take up space.

  3. Taking time to clear your mind. Sometimes, this looks like sitting on the couch with nothing on TV and not looking at your phone; sometimes, it’s a walk around the block, or sometimes, it is exercise.


Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

Love – to be really unconditionally loved is just unparalleled.

Laughter, sex, money, food (assuming I still have healthy food available in this scenario)


How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

My parents and I were very close until one of them had a very serious suicide attempt. A lot changed with the family dynamic following that. We are still close, but it is totally different now because, you know, brain damage.


When do you feel most like yourself? 

When I am doing something physically challenging and I don’t quit. I have this mentality in so many aspects of my life, but I feel like physical challenges make the achievements more tangible and easier to appreciate.


What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

That I am a “legend”. I think what they meant is they look up to me.


How do you feel about falling in love? 

I love being in love. I truly hope everyone finds someone to grow, flourish, and love with. It rocks.


What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

That if you work hard you can be whatever you want. I think to some extent we are cogs of the corporate machine. You are either a chosen one or not.


How often do you feel alone? 

It has been such a hard year. I feel like if I share what is going on with people, they will not understand or that I am burdening them.


What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Unconditional love from a partner. It is so incredible to know that somebody picked you for better or worse and that they mean it and show it.


What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Suicide/suicide attempt of a loved one. But I think most people do experience this. And I think most people don’t talk about it. I wish it wasn’t so private so people could rely on those around them more.


What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

The college that I picked. People love to hate it, but I would have never been surrounded by the same type of people anywhere else. It was quirky in a good way.


When do you feel most at ease? 

Any time I am with my husband. It is crazy how when we can focus on each other the rest of life’s issues can go away for at least a little while.


What does having a successful life mean to you? 

This question haunts me because I don’t know. I spend a lot of time thinking about it. Is it a happy family? Is it a good job? A great education? The ability to give back? I don’t know.


How often do you think about your body? 

Every day, I use exercise as a coping mechanism, so I always expect myself to be fit and strong. Check in on your ultra girlies and make sure they are looking after themselves mentally.


When do you ask for help? 

When somebody is an expert. I love asking experts for help with things. I really enjoy learning so asking for help is not difficult for me if the person I am asking is willing to teach.


What is something you feel strongly about?

You don’t have to have a close relationship with somebody just because societal norms make you think you should. It is ok to not be so close with a sibling or a parent or a grandparent. Boundaries can be really positive.


BONUS: Tell me something good. 

I made a friend a best friend as an adult! People say this is really hard, but I want you all to know there is hope!

 
 
 

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