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#90. celebrating single women, old journals & embracing the absurdity

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 27

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation:  Senior Communications Advisor

Income:  $128000

Astrological Sign:  Virgo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Libra Rising

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

I will never be a morning person. I was a competitive swimmer as a teenager, and as an adult, I love that I don’t have to get up before 7am. I love being in my bed in the morning. I try to read a few chapters of my book before I check my phone. I reply to the messages sent by my friends overseas.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

Yes, whenever I read my old journals. I’ve kept journals since I was 14 years old, and whenever I re-read them, I want to go back and tell myself that life works itself out. I feel fulfilled that I have curated a life that I truly love. Life itself isn’t without its trials and tribulations, but I believe the younger me would be happy to see how we’re turning out. I can’t ask for more genuine fulfillment than that.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

Why am I so lucky to have the life I do, while other people are suffering purely because they were born in a different country?

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

I’m lucky to have such deep and special friendships in my life, and that I am deserving of those friendships.

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

 

That your teenage years are NOT the best years of your life and that adulthood is so fun! I read a lot of answers to this question stating that it is hard, or boring, or painful. But I take all those moments in stride! I love my freedom. I have absolute control over my life and my happiness. I get to experience whatever I want - there are no curfews or rules, no boundaries, no age limits. If I don’t like my job, I can leave. If I don’t like the way a person makes me feel, I don’t have to interact with that person. If I want to pick up a hobby, I can, and if I don’t like it, I can stop. I can eat whatever I want for dinner. I can be in bed at night and an hour later be out at a pub with a friend. I can travel! I can adopt a dog if I want to! If these freedoms mean, I have to work at a job and reply to emails, have to pay for my own doctor’s appointments, and that I have to sometimes pick myself up when I’m feeling down, I can handle it.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

  1. Everything I know about love, by Dolly Alderton

  2. Inositol supplements, if you suffer from PCOS

  3. Relistening to the music you loved as a teenager; it was never cringe.

 

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

Love: it feels obvious, doesn’t it? What a beautiful concept love is. To give it so freely, in all its forms. Love - in its most practical and spiritual form, really is the foundation of how many of us live successfully in this world. Everyone deserves unconditional love.

Laughter: Joy! The purest emotion. Laughing is a release, a connector. Humans are incredibly absurd creatures, we should embrace that absurdity.

Sex: to feel empowered and beautiful, to feel cared for, be intimate. I enjoy feeling sexy and lusted after. It evokes animalistic instincts women are so often told to suppress. To find your sexual partner is a real superpower.

Money: it is true - money cannot buy you happiness. But it can ease the stress of life. I come from a privileged position. I haven’t inherited money, or come from generational wealth, but I earn well. My money has enabled me to invest in lifelong health issues, helping - finally - to find answers and solutions to my PCOS diagnosis. I’ve given back to charity, I can shout dinner for my family, take my sisters’ out to movies. I want to give back.

Food: Sharing food is love, it’s connection, it’s culture, it’s history. It’s our connection to land, and to our body. It’s fueling us, it’s comfort. It’s delicious.

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

My parents are fantastic. They are selfless, interesting, self-aware, forgiving, family- orientated, funny, reliable, and they genuinely love being parents. They’re also soulmates. They’ve raised their daughters in such a supportive and loving environment. I am so grateful. I’ve always got on with my parents, and my sisters are the same. We love hanging out as a family, we enjoy spending time together. I’m sure there are parts of my upbringing I could nitpick. But they were first-time humans figuring it out as well. Who am I to judge? I love them.

 

When do you feel most like yourself? 

When I don’t have to live by a routine. Routines don’t work with me; I’m much better living by intuition. I feel most like myself when I’m at a festival or traveling in the summertime, and the days are longer on the weekends. Anytime I’m with my friends, we’re just swapping stories and filling glasses. I feel like myself when I’m near the ocean - I operate best when there’s a sea breeze.

 

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

That I have a warm, friendly and open energy/aura. I’ve heard this a few times, by both old and new friends, and I hold it close to my heart. What a beautiful compliment to receive.

 

How do you feel about falling in love? 

A rare joy. I’m so glad I got to experience young love and I can’t wait to experience a mature version of it.

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

Whenever people talk about getting older as if it’s a burden. Turning a year older is a privilege not everyone receives.

 

How often do you feel alone? 

Hardly ever - I have cultivated a life where I am lucky in that regard. It’s only the smallest of moments - when I wake up by myself on a Sunday, or when I have to do all the household chores on a Tuesday night - that I feel lonely. In most aspects of my life, there is always someone I can rely on.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Genuine friendship. I feel like I manifested my friendships, I couldn’t have asked for better people to spend my time on earth with.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Chronic pain. It can be so isolating and difficult to navigate, especially as a woman, especially when related to hormones.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Leaving my hometown at 18 to move into the university halls. I didn’t know a single person, and really took a leap of faith. I experienced the most incredible three years of my life, and they provided me the freedom to learn about myself.

 

When do you feel most at ease? 

By myself, in the ocean.

 

What does having a successful life mean to you? 

Being a person people can rely on; that I am someone my friends and family can turn to for advice or comfort. It’s an honor to have people hold you in that regard.

 

How often do you think about your body? 

I have PCOS, so I am acutely aware of my body and have been since I was 15 years old. I think about it every day, not necessarily in a negative light, but just a constant awareness of what triggers my symptoms. There were moments in the past when I would have taken scissors to my skin to make myself smaller, and now, in my present, I absolutely love the way I look, even on the hard days.

 

When do you ask for help? 

All the time! I have no shame. I am a Virgo and like to try to do it by myself, but life is nothing without community, and I ask for help from mine when I need it.

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

Learn the indigenous language of the country you come from/live in! Our beautiful language was nearly lost, and I’m so grateful it survived. Our native languages carry so much history and connection that they deserve to be spoken freely and widely. We need to embrace indigenous culture’s knowledge of the earth, of sustainability, of family, of community, and self in order to restore a holistic and healthy relationship to other humans and our home on earth.

 

BONUS: Tell me something good. 

I’ve been single since I was 21 years old, and everything I have accomplished in my adult life has been down to me. My friends, my travel, my finances, my career, my hobbies, my interests have all come to me because of me. If you have a partner who has been a support in your life, that is beautiful, but I want to acknowledge my single ladies who do it on their own. You are worth celebrating.


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