Age: 28
Relationship Status: Married (recently! <3)
Occupation: Housewife (but looking for a job because I’m bored)
Income: $0 for me, $165k for household
Astrological Sign: Sagittarius sun, aquarius rising, scorpio moon, and a fuck-ton of capricorn elsewhere. No, I’m not okay (lol).
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Ideally, ignore my phone, stretch, make coffee, and go for a 20 min walk with the dogs and husband before the heat sets in for the day.
Realistically? Roll over and check instagram, then make coffee, then cuddle up with my husband on the couch to drink said coffee.
Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?
Yes, a few times. Usually, I feel most fulfilled when I am doing something creative.
I love being on stage or in front of a camera filming something, but that doesn’t really happen in my life these days. I was a dancer for a long time, and I used to perform in plays when I was in high school. I lived in Los Angeles and worked in the film industry for a hot second. I also feel fulfilled when I am writing something (often short stories), painting something, or sewing something.
What is your most repetitive, negative thought?
“Nobody likes you.” I was bullied pretty badly growing up, and still struggle with fitting in. I feel like people quickly realize how odd I am and find me off-putting.
What is your most repetitive, positive thought?
“You can do this.”
What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?
You never actually feel like a grown-up. I’m married, we own our own home, we have pets, friends, cars, but I still feel like I’m not an adult yet.
Also, most adults are a lot more idiotic than you’re led to believe as a kid.
What are three things you want to put every woman onto?
Sunscreen in general, but specifically the super serum skin tint by Ilia. It smells like Play-Doh, but I love it despite that.
Thrifting! Clothing is so expensive these days, and it’s difficult to find well-made clothing. Thrifting allows me to find really unique and well-made pieces.
Fragrance! Your sense of smell is often strongly linked to specific memories. I’d recommend starting off with a signature perfume, but don’t be afraid to change it up! Certain perfumes remind me of certain times in my life.
Rank the following from most to least important:
money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).
Love, food, laughter, sex, money.
How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?
I had a pretty unusual childhood, I think. Even though my parents made a good amount of money, it was stressful because they also had a ton of debt. We still managed to travel a lot, and I’m really grateful for those experiences.
My dad was pretty absent for a lot of my life, and even when he was physically present, he wasn’t emotionally present. I know he loved me, he just wasn’t great at showing it. I grew up really close to my mom because of my relationship with my dad.
In college, I found out my dad had fathered children from extramarital affairs. My mom knew the entire time and kept it from me. It made me see my mom in a different light, because I could never stay with someone who cheated on me. She became less of a perfect example of a woman in my eyes, and I see her now as more of a real person. She’s just a woman who did her best with what she had. I have a hard time being around my dad now, but that’s also because he’s gone down the political rabbit hole. He’s incredibly conservative and I’m… not. He’s pretty illogical, and lies a lot about things, or at the minimum over exaggerates. In return, I lie to him about who I vote for because it’s not worth the headache of arguing.
I can see now that I was and still am pretty parentified. My therapist helped realize that I did a lot of the emotional caretaking in my home.
When do you feel most like yourself?
This is a hard question, and I had to think a lot about this. We travel to the Pacific ocean quite frequently, and when we’re there I sometimes sneak off alone to climb the rocks to sit and watch the sea crash against the shore.
What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?
I’m very into art, and one time an art historian I met while traveling said that Diego Velazquez would have liked to paint me. He was older and gay, so he wasn’t trying to hit on me. It was just a genuine compliment, no sexual undertones! Very refreshing.
How do you feel about falling in love?
When I was younger, I was desperate to fall in love. I tried so hard to be as attractive as possible and dated anyone who gave me attention. I spent a lot of my life chasing male validation. Turns out I’m pansexual (lol). I’ve fallen in love with the most incredible man, and we got married! His love and presence in my life has been very healing, but I also had to do a lot of work on myself to make it to this point.
What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?
Anything about my half-sister (one of my dad’s affair babies). My dad brings her up whenever I see him, and I honestly want nothing to do with her. Maybe in the future, but I’m not ready yet.
How often do you feel alone?
Fairly often, but I think I’m just naturally a pretty lonely person. I have friends that I love and who love me in return, but I always feel a little bit removed.
What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?
Finding a place while traveling that they connect with. I’ve found part of my soul in Florence. (Italy, not South Carolina.)
What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?
The heartbreak of betrayal.
What is the best decision you’ve ever made?
Marrying my husband.
When do you feel most at ease?
Reading on the beach.
What does having a successful life mean to you?
Doing something that fulfills you and surrounding yourself with people who you like and want to be around, that feel the same about you.
How often do you think about your body?
Everyday, several times a day. I’ve struggled with disordered eating for as long as I can remember. I’m better now, but I consider myself perpetually in recovery. I also have an autoimmune disease, so my flare-ups force me to think about my body.
When do you ask for help?
I put it off for as long as possible, until it’s crucial.
What is something you feel strongly about?
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, STOP ASKING NEWLYWEDS WHEN THEY’RE HAVING CHILDREN!!!!! The next person to ask me when we’re going to have kids will be made to feel extremely uncomfortable. It’s fucked up to say, and don’t want to offend people that are struggling to conceive, but next time I’ll probably say that we have been trying. You never know what someone’s going through, and you’re demanding to know about something very personal and intimate. You’re being rude and intrusive, so stop it.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
My sister-in-law and her family just adopted a puppy. Which means free access to a puppy, but no responsibility!!!!!
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