Age: 26
Relationship Status: Engaged
Occupation: Healthcare Compliance
Income: $96,000 + bonus
Astrological Sign: Virgo Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
After I reorient myself into reality (I’m a vivid dreamer), I look for my dog. He usually ends up sleeping at the foot of my bed, but as soon as he hears me rustling around, he always finds his way right next to me. My partner is not a morning person, and my dog and I usually spend a good 15 minutes just snuggling before I’m forced to get up to go to work.
Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?
It may seem silly, but I planned a trip with some friends a few years ago. Seeing it all come to fruition and everyone having an incredible time filled my soul so much. Shared experiences mean the world to me.
What is your most repetitive, negative thought?
I’m always so concerned about money. I have no debt and save a good amount, but scarcity from past generations still bubbles up. I have this fear that everything can be taken from me in an instant. That I’ll end up alone with no help…
What is your most repetitive, positive thought?
That I can do anything.
I know this seems counter to my most negative thoughts. But I’ve somehow always found a way to surprise myself, and that gives me hope that whatever I want, I can find.
What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?
That you never really grow up at all. I’m still 17 at heart, and the more I talk to older women, they also still feel like teenagers themselves. When I was younger, I thought that when I was 23, I would have it all figured out. Little did I know, the year I turned 23 was the same year as the start of covid. Safe to say, I didn’t have it all figured out, and it was nearly impossible to in that state! Now at 26, I know that no one really knows how to do anything. We’re all just doing our best.
What are three things you want to put every woman onto?
1. Therapy. Let’s all be real: our family left us with trauma.
2. The TikTok African Net Sponge. It really does work.
3. Exercise. You can’t have a healthy brain without it.
Rank the following from most to least important:
money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).
love; laughter/money/sex/food.
Love is by far and away the number one. Without love, laughter, money, sex, and food are meaningless to me. They’re all just ways to show others that you love them.
How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?
I went no contact with one of my parents. It was an emotionally gut-wrenching experience I wouldn’t wish on my least favorite people in the world. I spent most of my life walking on eggshells around my parent. I grew into an anxious, angry person. I was miserable and emotionally unstable. My parent was unable to provide me with what I needed, and attempts at arm’s length relationships proved too emotionally difficult. After much thought, I decided I needed a break from that relationship. On the other side of it, I grew so much. I was able to regulate myself and my feelings. I actually began to have feelings other than anxiety and anger. I experienced joy, laughter, and love in ways I never knew growing up with this parent.
My other parent was unavailable to me through much of my teen years due to abuse from my now, no-contact parent. It’s been a process to move forward and forgive them for leaving me alone to deal with my no-contact parent, but I’m really proud that we’ve been able to move forward and are closer than we’ve ever been. I think that we both needed to be away from the fight/flight/freeze environment in order to reconnect.
When do you feel most like yourself?
When I am out exploring or learning something new. I live for planes, trains, and cars to connect me to the unknown. That’s where I find the true me.
What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?
That I’m kind and genuine.
I developed a mask pretty early as a coping mechanism to keep people from getting too close. I know that I can be slow to warm up and feel comfortable. But when people see me for who I really am, a sensitive, caring person, it makes me feel so seen.
How do you feel about falling in love?
I love love, and I love a slow burn. In romance and friendship, watching my partner/friends growth over time truly makes me fall even more in love.
What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?
“But that’s your [insert family member here], you have to…”
How often do you feel alone?
I used to feel alone constantly, even when I was talking with friends. Now, I could be in a coffee shop with strangers I’ll never speak with and feel full of the energy of others. It’s amazing how much that perception can change with age.
What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?
The growth after a positive change. So many life changes are not our own doing (moving due to a partner’s job, death in the family, loss of a job, etc.), but when you are a little ways out, to be able to look back - and say, WOW that was actually a life-changing moment and I wouldn’t change it - is something special.
What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?
I hope other girls don’t have to go through the things I went through when I was a teenager. To sum up years of events: abuse. I wish everyone in the world could have loving, respectful relationships. You’re all worthy of it.
What is the best decision you’ve ever made?
Moving away from home. I made an investment in myself, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. If you’re debating it, please try it. The world is so big and begging to be explored. You may find yourself out there too. :)
When do you feel most at ease?
Being around my partner. He is just like me in all the right ways and just opposite of me in all the right ways. My perfect balance.
What does having a successful life mean to you?
Successful relationships. I value the people I have in my life so much. Being surrounded by them makes life worth it.
How often do you think about your body?
Too much for my own good. I could definitely do with criticizing it less. I try, but it’s hard.
When do you ask for help?
At least every Tuesday (at therapy). Most of the time, every day, because no one should do anything hard alone. Also, no one asked, but “How do you like to help others?” would be a great question. I wonder if some people would prefer to offer help rather than receive it.
What is something you feel strongly about?
Female friendships have the “real” soulmates.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I have a few upcoming OOOs for more traveling!
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