#80. fresh air, how faith should feel & washing your emotional support water bottle

Age: 23

Relationship Status:  Single

Occupation:  University Library Employee

Income:  Enough for me to live!

Astrological Sign: Scorpio (Sun), Cancer (Moon), Gemini (Rising)

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

Unfortunately, it’s checking my phone, but I’m working on it. The first thing I do once I’m out of bed is grab a glass of water, and make my bed.

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

It’s always when I check off the last task off my to-do list for the day. It makes me feel like I have my life kind of together.

What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

I think about death a lot. Not my own, but losing the people that I love around me in terrible ways.

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

I always have some sort of form of gratitude, so if something even mundane happens, I feel like I always have “I’m grateful for this” caught in my head.

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

How much things really do cost. Moving out on my own plus inflation has really started to make me pinch pennies on groceries.

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

1. Blistex Medicated Lip Ointment - it has saved my life as someone with chronically dry lips.

2. Washing your emotional support water bottle on the regular.

3. Nespresso Vertuo Machines.

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

Love: It doesn’t have to be a significant other; it can be family or friends. Everyone deserves to feel loved and wanted. Growing up Christian, I was always told to Love everyone and to treat people the way you want to be treated. So, I do my best daily to show love to everyone.

Food: specifically good food. Sometimes my comfort food of chicken nuggets and smiley fries are what makes my day. Sometimes, it’s a salad with chicken and French dressing. Nourish your body.

Laughter: find one thing that’ll make you laugh everyday, I promise it’ll make the worst days even better.

Money: yes, it’s important to be able to live in this economy, but I find personal connection more important than being able to afford a fancy car.

Sex: I’m celibate and saving myself until marriage, so it’s not a big focus in my life right now.

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

I actually talk to them more now that I’ve moved out. My relationship with my mom has changed so much for the better. We’re constantly FaceTiming, sending TikToks to each other. I’ve realized my mom isn’t just my mom, she’s a woman just like me and really does go through it at times, just like me. We’ve become really good friends. My dad became the best at giving me life advice once I moved out and became more aware of my mental health, and I find that we can always joke around more, too, now that I’m older.

When do you feel most like yourself? 

Honestly, I haven’t felt really like myself in a hot minute, but I feel like I can be myself a lot when I’m alone or with my family. It’s hard!

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

“You’ve got a big heart for people, keep spreading the joy and kindness you constantly exude.” Or something along the lines of that… I have a terrible memory!

How do you feel about falling in love? 

I have a mix of emotions - excitement, fear, dread? But I think I’m ready for it, for whoever may show up in my life.

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

“Now that blank is married, you’re next!” Or “Is there any special man in your life?” The answer for the time being is still no. I am happy to not be dating or anything right now. Let me have my own timing!

How often do you feel alone? 

Constantly. Sometimes, I’m totally happy to be physically by myself, but there are a lot of times when I feel like I don’t really have anyone in my corner. Depending on what’s going on in my life at the time, it can be so difficult to get through the day.

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Seeing the mountains. Seriously, go to the Rockies. It will change your life. Go explore if you can!

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Having to deal with family members who don’t treat you with kindness or even basic respect. No one deserves to feel unloved or unwanted.

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Honestly, it’s recent, but I'm leaving a bible study group where I left every week constantly feeling ashamed and unwanted. That’s not how faith should work.

When do you feel most at ease? 

When I get reassurance or know that I have support from the people that I love when I’m anxious or stressed out. It makes me feel so much better!

What does having a successful life mean to you? 

Feeling happiness and gratitude always, even through the bad. Being around people who are loving and kind-hearted and who make me feel wanted and loved. Going on adventures and maybe having a kid or two.

How often do you think about your body? 

Less often than I used to, but I still catch myself looking at the mirror longer than I should be. I’m still insecure about my stomach and my forehead, but better than I used to.

When do you ask for help? 

I don’t. I’m so stubborn. I will literally try to do everything myself until I collapse. It’s probably my biggest struggle, and I’m not sure where to start.

What is something you feel strongly about?

The “Holier than Thou” complex in Christianity is insane and is one of the reasons why I nearly left the church. Walking into a church service and not being spoken to because I’m not as outspoken about my faith, or being told I’m not Christian enough because of my chronic illnesses, or because I listen to secular music makes me sick. This is a reminder that just because you’re Christian doesn’t mean you get to treat people less than because they’re “less faithful” than you. Get a grip.

BONUS: Tell me something good. 

I’m just grateful to be alive. Thankful for another day to breathe in fresh air and work at a job that I love to do.