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Writer's pictureDevyn Penney

#77. underconsumption, lake life & being loved well




Age: 27

Relationship Status: In a relationship

Occupation: Marketing

Income: 130,000

Astrological Sign: Aries

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Check my phone, sync my Oura ring to my Natural Cycles app, pee, brush my teeth, let the dogs out, touch grass.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?

This year. I finally stopped chasing- the money, love, success, friendships. I just let things happen and trust that’s how it is supposed to be. I’ve found peace and fulfillment this year - on walks with my dogs, drinking coffee on the porch swing, waking up next to my best friend, going to the Farmer’s market, cooking dinner with Chris Stapleton playing, gardening - slowing down and looking around.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought?

“Someday, I am going to lose the people I love most, and I don’t know that I will survive it.” “I’m so scared of getting older; I just want time to stop.”

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought?

I have it so good. A roof over my head, dogs in the yard, food in the fridge, a healthy family, and I get to love my best friend.

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?

Truly being able to do whatever you want whenever you want. I realize this changes when you have kids, but right now - if I want cereal in bed at 1 AM while watching You’ve Got Mail and painting my nails, I can and I love it.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto?

  1. Romanticize your life. Light the candles, make cocktails/mocktails, take long bubble baths, turn down service in your own bedroom, roll the windows down while driving, and singing.

  2. Stop buying shit. Clean out your closet. Purge your home. Stop being influenced to buy a shirt made of polyester and acrylic on Amazon from a random girl on the internet. Buy less. It is not normal to have packages arriving at your door every day. The overconsumption in America is CRAZY, and you do not need to keep buying to keep up.

  3. Relationships are not hard, life is. I used to think (romantic) relationships and love were a roller coaster and “hard.” It’s not; I was just dating the wrong person. If you are dating, remember this is the easiest it’s ever going to be.

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?

My parents and I have always been friends. I still talk to them almost every day, and I’m so thankful for the relationship we’ve always had because it got me through some really tough times. We’re still very close, but I’ve stopped living for their approval and just started doing what I want to do and what makes me happy - which has been harder than I thought it would be.

 

When do you feel most like yourself?

At our lake up north. My hair frizzy, no makeup, surrounded by my family in the middle of nowhere.

 

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?

You make everyone feel like the best version of themselves.

 

How do you feel about falling in love?

I love love and heartbreak. I think falling in love is the best feeling in the world and heartbreak is one of the worst. How cool is it that we can feel that much? I still feel like I’m falling in love with my boyfriend after 2 years together.

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

As someone who doesn’t have kids, I am so tired of hearing moms complain and the constant negativity coming from moms. I’ve always wanted kids, but I’ve started to doubt because I never hear positivity from moms! It doesn’t matter if it's family, friends, co-workers, or even strangers on the internet - I rarely hear anything positive about being a mom or having kids. It makes me really scared to have kids - which I never thought I would say.

 

How often do you feel alone?

Often, which I thought would go away. Working from home is really lonely. Even if I go to coffee shops or get out of the house while I work, I still feel lonely during the workday. Something about just me and the computer 8 hours a day is very depressing and…lonely.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?

I hope everyone can reach a point where they are happy with what they have. I have just stopped the rat race, and it has been the best year of my life. I stopped trying to be friends with everyone, impress everyone, climb the corporate ladder, and listen to everyone’s opinions, and I’ve just slowed way down. It has completely changed my life and perspective. I still have things I want to do and goals, but the hustle of it all is gone.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Losing their childhood dog.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made?

Picking up my life, and moving across the country to a city where I knew no one.

 

When do you feel most at ease?

Drinking coffee with the dogs in the bed while watching Gilmore Girls on Sunday mornings or when I’m cooking

 

What does having a successful life mean to you?

Being loved well and loving others well. The money, the house, the cars - that’s all bullshit. It’s who you surround yourself with and how much you laugh.

 

How often do you think about your body?

Everyday. In every outfit, in every mirror. My boobs are too big, my butt is too flat, I have no abs, I’m too short, my acne scars ruin my face. The list goes on.

 

When do you ask for help?

When I’m feeling anxious. I used to not tell anyone and then I would just spiral.

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

You can be happy and not achieve your dreams. You can give up and still feel fulfilled. My dream was to be a musician and I thought that was the only path to happiness. Turns out, there’s a lot more to life than your dreams - good people, silly dogs, sunny days, a great glass of wine, the sound of my niece laughing, Trader Joe’s flowers. We put so much pressure on “What do you want to do?” our whole lives, but I think we should instead say, “How do you want to feel?” I don’t want to do marketing. It was never my dream or plan B or plan C, but I want to feel this way forever - happy, in love, and fulfilled.

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