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#72. trauma therapy, sleep frequencies & "ubunto"

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 36

Relationship Status:  Married

Occupation: Manager of Sales Enablement @ a tech firm

Income:  $175,000

Astrological Sign: Cancer

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

Text my husband good morning and have a snuggle session with my dog.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

Yes, when I started trauma therapy and saw it “work” for the first time. It made me feel like I could do anything.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

That I’m really hard to love.

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

You’ve got this.

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

How much I have changed with each decade. What I wanted in my 20’s is nowhere close to what I want now. I know more now, have experienced more and have dealt with more.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

  1. THERAPY.

  2. Homeland on Showtime. Trust me.

  3. Sleep frequency playlists. They melt me into the best sleep of my life.

 

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

Love, laughter, money, sex, food

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

Ooofff. I had always thought my mom and stepdad “saved” me from a horrible childhood. After a lot of therapy, I have realized that my parents did a lot of things in my childhood (and still today) that fucked me up. To this day, it’s really hard to swallow.

 

When do you feel most like yourself? 

No make-up, messy hair, on a beach.

 

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

My husband told me once, “You make people feel safe to be exactly who they are around you.”

 

How do you feel about falling in love? 

Scary as shit, but so fucking worth it when you’ve really found it.

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

“Be the better person.” To me, that indicates that we shouldn’t hold others accountable for behavior that crossed our boundaries, and I think that is horse shit.

 

How often do you feel alone? 

Not often. I have built an incredible support system over the last 20 years.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Breaking free of the weight of what others think about you. Your life changes.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Sexual assault.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Ending my first marriage. It was the first decision that I had ever made by myself, and I didn’t care what anyone thought; it was for me.

 

When do you feel most at ease? 

In bed with my husband at night.

 

What does having a successful life mean to you? 

I don’t know yet – it changes often.

 

How often do you think about your body? 

All day, every day.

 

When do you ask for help? 

All the time now. 5 years ago? Hell no.

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

A word I learned while traveling South Africa, Ubuntu. It is the belief that we are defined by our compassion and humanity towards others.

 

BONUS: Tell me something good. 

My husband and I are in therapy together and it has unequivocally changed our relationship for the better. I have never loved myself and him more than I do today.

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