Age: 26
Relationship Status: singgglllleeeee, chronically
Occupation: Veterinary student in my final year!
Income: actively losing money to loans
Astrological Sign: Taurus
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Close my eyes and roll over.
Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?
My junior year of undergrad, I had an internship at my local aquarium. I was previously turned down, so I was ecstatic to be accepted. I got to feed a sloth during my time there. Sloths are one of my absolute favorite animals, and I remember thinking, “All of your struggles and hardships got you right here feeding this sloth a carrot.” In a bigger picture sense, it was a moment that made me realize how much I love conservation and animals and how I was manifesting my dream career. I always doubted myself back then, so it was an affirming moment for me.
What is your most repetitive, negative thought?
You are falling behind everyone your age. I am not married, let alone have I ever been in a relationship. I don’t have kids, I’m nowhere near being ready to buy a house. Being in a 4-year doctoral program is something I am so thankful for, but it has put other goals on hold.
What is your most repetitive, positive thought?
I have the most amazing family and friends! I am so blessed to be loved by them.
What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?
It really does get better! I was so mean to myself growing up and people were also mean to me. Once I graduated high school and got away from the crowd I grew up with, it was like the clouds literally lifted. My 20s have been so much fun, especially after turning 25. My confidence grows every year; I love it here.
What are three things you want to put every woman onto?
Movement that fulfills you; people joke about women doing anything but going to the gym, but if it makes you happy, why does it matter the location?
Spending time alone - it is restorative.
Learning how to be an advocate for yourself and others.
Rank the following from most to least important:
money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).
Love
Food
Laughter
Sex
Money
How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?
I’ve always been really close with my parents, even during the turbulent teenage years. I’m in a weird transition with them where they are realizing I’m an adult with my own life but are still kind of treating me like a teenager. My mom has had some health issues this past year, so she and my dad have had to lean on me in ways they have not before. I think because of that they are beginning to view me as a mature adult. In turn, I am always acutely aware of how much I need them and how scared I am to lose them.
When do you feel most like yourself?
When I am with my little sister or my best friends, I can be weird and goofy, and I know they don’t judge me for me; they embrace me. My little sister is my absolute, most favorite person, and we have the best time together.
What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?
“You are the glue to our friendship.” As a words of affirmation girlie, this made my heart light up.
How do you feel about falling in love?
For the longest, I thought that it was not meant to be a part of my story. I first attempted dating at 23, and it has not been enjoyable. I know that it is something that I want for myself, but I don’t really know how to go about finding it? I’m queer, so what I want for my love story doesn’t align with the love stories fed to us growing up and what we see constantly. It just feels like an abstract thing for me. As an ambitious person, I often wonder if all my accomplishments dim in other people’s eyes because I have never had a romantic relationship. “Okay, she’s a doctor, but she ain’t got a man.”
What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?
Macro- and microaggressions. My field is not diverse AT ALL. I thought I was prepared for that, but constantly hearing these things and having to remain professional will really chip away at you. Just this past week, someone asked if I was a diversity intern, and that programming doesn’t even exist at that facility! What did you mean by that?!
How often do you feel alone?
Not often! I used to isolate myself when I was younger. Now, I have friends and family that I can trust if I feel myself getting to those places, and I have worked hard to establish those boundaries with them. As an introvert, I also value time alone to decompress. “I’m not lonely, I’m alone. And I’m holy by my own.”- Jamila Woods, “Holy”.
What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?
A truly reciprocal friendship (is it obvious I love my friends?); I have had more beautiful friendships with women than poor ones. The women in my life lift me up, encourage me to be my best self and hold me accountable. There is nothing more sacred than people who choose to keep loving all parts of you, especially seeing you through many phases of life.
What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?
Traumatic, unexpected deaths; I’ve lost several friends and family over the years who passed at young ages, from gruesome causes. Grief SUCKS; everyone promised it would get better with time but it still hurts like they passed yesterday, even 5+ years later.
What is the best decision you’ve ever made?
Choosing the undergrad I did; it was my #2 and I was worried about going to my in-state and not moving away from home. It changed my life. I met some of my best friends, made professional connections that paved the path to vet med, and learned how to be a champion for diversity, equity, and inclusion. I matured a ton during college, and I believe none of it would’ve happened if I did not go to the university I did.
When do you feel most at ease?
When I am in my childhood home, laying in my parents’ bed with my sister, mom, and dad watching TV.
What does having a successful life mean to you?
As corny as it sounds, I want to leave the world, with it being a better place than it was when I entered it. I am going into conservation work, and with the state of things right now, I am quite worried about the health of the planet. Besides that, I will have a family with children, several reptiles, dogs, cats, and a rescue dairy cow.
How often do you think about your body?
All the freaking time. I grew up a competitive dancer and was a chunky kid. I lost a ton of weight during my senior year of high school, via diet and exercise and then gained it back and then some. I’ve gained a lot of weight since starting vet school too and have been trying to practice body neutrality. Some days it is tougher than others. I met with a nutritionist and a dietician in the past year, and it has been revolutionizing. I learned to stop restricting and that I can be healthy at multiple sizes. I also learned a lot of what is viewed as the “ideal” body in the U.S. is rooted in racism (of course), which has made me a lot kinder to my body. Doing hot yoga, dance, and aerial yoga as an adult has made me respect my body a lot more too! Like dang, I still got it.
When do you ask for help?
I used to never ask for help, but as I have gotten older, I ask a lot more. I am always going to my friends for dating and relationship advice because I tend to let shit slide and am often too lenient with calling out nonsense. School has also forced me to ask for help constantly. My clinical skills as a student are humbling, so I like to ask questions about every little detail. My patients deserve the best quality of care, and the only way to provide that is to ask and learn!
What is something you feel strongly about?
Liberation is possible in our lifetime! We can achieve freedom and equal rights for all marginalized communities and all we have is each other to accomplish this.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Horses stand on their middle fingers, so they are constantly giving us the finger. I don’t know if that is good, but it makes me laugh.
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