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Writer's pictureDevyn Penney

#46. decentering men, empowering women & being in nature




Age: 24

Relationship Status: In a relationship

Occupation: Counseling graduate student

Astrological Sign: capricorn sun, libra moon, cancer rising

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

Honestly, checking how my sleep was on my oura ring. I typically snuggle with my cat before getting out of bed and always take my morning meds at the same time.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

I feel fulfilled when someone trusts me to be there for them when they are going through a hard time. I was able to be there for a friend after she experienced a traumatic event, and it reminded me of the power of human connection.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought? 

I do not like my body, and I will never be happy with it :(

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

I am a good listener and people care about me. I am breaking generational patterns every day!

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood? 

My parents still see me as a child sometimes. I live alone, take care of a cat, and manage my own money and yet they still question my ability to fully take care of myself.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

1. Decentering men

2. Living alone in your 20s

 

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

love, laughter, money, food, sex.

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

I can accept the mistakes they made and also acknowledge that they did impact me as a child. We have been able to discuss some of the traumatic events that happened in my childhood, which has led to defensive behaviors on their part and acceptance on mine.

 

When do you feel most like yourself? 

When I am talking with my closest friends about our existential ideas. Recently this has been “Do we want kids?”, “Can marriage be equitable?” and “Why do men hate women?”

 

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

Any compliment about the way I think or my emotional maturity. Recently, a friend told me I should write a book.

 

How do you feel about falling in love? 

It’s quite scary! Having someone else know me for who I really am is not something I would prefer. I don’t even know if I fully know who I am. How am I supposed to be authentic if I don’t know what authentic is for me?

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

Nutrition advice from unlicensed people on TikTok. I could not care less about seed oils or the Yuka app.


How often do you feel alone? 

Frequently, but I do not mind it most of the time. I live alone and very much enjoy having most of my time to myself. I do not see being alone as a negative, although it can be sometimes.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Completing a major physical feat (for me, it was backpacking in Wyoming at age 18.) Or Taylor Swift’s Eras tour.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Medical trauma. I have been in near-death health crises 3 times, and every time I am in an ER bed, I feel a sense of unexplainable doom. I live in fear daily that I will die suddenly and no one will be there to save me.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Breaking up with my shitty ex-boyfriend at 23. I thought “love” included constant mocking and degrading by default. Turns out it doesn’t! Thank god!

 

When do you feel most at ease? 

When I am outdoors, whether that be hiking or at the beach, nature being so effortless makes me feel small in the world, which is oddly comforting to me.

 

How often do you think about your body? 

Unfortunately, every single day, most of the time. I truly have no idea what I look like and I live with chronic pain, making it quite literally on my mind at all times.

 

When do you ask for help? 

When I feel overwhelmed, I’d like to think I am defying eldest daughter stereotypes by being willing to ask for help, but I do feel guilty sometimes because I “should” be able to do it alone.

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

We need to empower more women to reconsider wanting marriage and children as a default. I strongly believe that so many women feel cheated out of their dreams when they are married or have children and realize they will be doing all of the work, whether that be house upkeep or raising children.

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