#407. climbing pinnacles & an unlimited supply of champagne or comfortable bras

Age: 49

Relationship Status: Married

Occupation: I train teachers

Income: Enough to enjoy every day; not enough to save as well

Astrological Sign: Aquarius

What is something you look forward to every day?

My cup of breakfast coffee with gold-top milk. I have one every day and look forward to it every night before I go to sleep.

Describe how your year thus far is going, using only three words:

Tricky, with hope.

What is the most valuable thing you have earned?

Well, my children really. It’s been hard work, and I’m so proud of them. They are teenagers, and they want to spend time with me and tell me they love me every day. I put a lot of work into building my relationship with them, and I hope it’s going to be a long-term thing. They are the most valuable things in my life.

What is the most precious thing you have lost?

I’m careless with things: I had a lovely collection of Indian clothes from the time I spent living abroad – they all got lost in a move. I have some photos with me wearing them, and really, I know that the experiences and memories aren’t lost, and that’s what matters. They take me back to a really good time in my life, but though the clothes are lost, the memories aren’t.

Fill in the blank: if loving _____ is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

If loving films starring The Rock is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Is there a moment in your life where preparation has met opportunity? Did you take it?

I’m not one to put myself forward for things, though I do have talents. I’m quite musical; a community choir started in my village, and from early on, I was mentored by the director to take over when they moved on. I was reluctant, but I’ve been leading the choir for seven years now, and it’s going well. I wouldn’t give it up now. It’s more than I was led to take the opportunity, and that taught me a lot. These days, I look for opportunities.

In a room full of people, who are you looking for?

Someone who can make me laugh.

What is the most impactful, published piece of writing you have read?

(this could be a book, a poem, an article, a study, etc.)

Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own.

When I am self-loathing, I tend to…

Behave as if I’m not worthy of health, love, or happiness.

When I am self-loving, I tend to…

Give myself some leeway and remind myself I am only human.

If you had endless amounts of talent and skill, what would you want to be famous or known for?

Writing or singing – something creative which makes people FEEL something while allowing me to put something of myself in.

How does the best relationship in your life make you feel?

That’s complicated. All the relationships in my life are very different from each other and provide me with different things and different experiences. In my best relationships, I’m independent, travel a lot, and feel like I might just be a good enough person. I tend not to get self-worth from other people – I’m not a good enough friend to feel good that way, and I don’t want to spend my life knowing I’m not good enough.

When do you feel most inspired?

When I’m talking with people who are passionate about something, it doesn’t really matter what that thing is.

What is something that your inner child needs to hear from you?

It’s not your fault or responsibility.

What is something that your future self needs to hear from you?

You’re fine as you are, and whatever you can manage is good enough. Also, eat less salt.

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had made a different decision, and do you wish you had?

I think about my ‘sliding doors’ moment a lot – a fantastic job opportunity which I blew. If I had gotten it, my life would have been very different. But I’ve got the life I have, and it has lots to recommend, including my children.

If money were no object, what is one thing you would have an unlimited supply of?

Champagne. Or comfortable bras.

What is the most predictable thing about you?

I will always come second in a quiz. And I’ll be REALLY pissed off about it.

What is the most unexpected thing that has ever happened to you?

I ran a 50k ultra race. I did train for it, but it wasn’t until I crossed the finish line that I believed I could do it.

Describe a time that you were in awe of your own courage or bravery:

More of an ‘inner strength’ answer – I took up running because I felt I was mentally weak and needed to be able to prove I wasn’t. I climbed the Pinnacles on Malaysian Borneo – it was fucking tough, and whenever I need to remind myself I can do tough – usually when I am running a long distance, and I’m not sure I can do it – I think about that.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

It’s all going to be okay.