#396. fossil fuels, financial stability & pursuing sexual pleasure

Age: 70

Relationship Status: Divorced

Occupation: Lawyer

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius

Describe your ideal morning:

Waking naturally (not to an alarm). A walk (45-60 mins) while listening to music or an audiobook. Leisurely breakfast.

What is the last thing you think about before going to sleep?

It depends on what’s happening in my life, but basically, what the next day looks like.  The thoughts can be positive or negative, depending on whether I’m looking forward to tomorrow or not. 

If you could talk openly about any of the following ‘taboo’ subjects at a dinner party: politics, religion, money, or sex, what is one question you would pose to the table?

Does organized religion really add anything of value to the world?

(My view is no, it does not.)

What is something you wish were taught in school?

It’s okay to ask lots of questions. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid; it just means you’re not satisfied with the answer you’ve been given.

How do you define personal happiness?

Knowing you’re loved and valued by the people you love. 

When do you feel most helpless?

I don’t think I’ve ever felt truly helpless.  I can feel overwhelmed or frustrated or threatened, but I know that I’m a strong person and that I can manage … a lot.

What is something you are nostalgic about?

When my parents were alive, we had very happy times as a family, my Dad, Mum, me, and my two younger brothers.

When does, or will, your life feel complete?

I’m pretty content with where I’m at now.  I would like to see my son happily married and to meet my (future) grandchildren.  I haven’t been in a relationship with a man since I got divorced nearly 20 years ago, and it would be nice to meet someone to share the next few years with, while I’m still healthy, my brain still works, and I have a bit of money, but I’m okay if that doesn’t happen.

What is something you have forgiven, but will never forget?

My ex-husband’s selfishness.

What is one decision that seemed small at the time, but completely changed the direction or course of your life?

To go on a date with a guy that I met on a bus when I was 19.  He is long gone from my life, but through him, I met people who are still in my life 50 years later and have had a profound impact on my life.

What is something that comes easily to you?

Writing. I write a lot in my work (technical, legal writing) and I think “on the page”.  I clarify my thoughts by writing them, and I find that process easy and enjoyable.

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

Leaving my ex-husband. I was happy to leave the marriage, but I took my son away from his father and started again in a new city. The first couple of years were very tough.

Where is your favorite place on Earth?

Being with my family.

If you woke up tomorrow and were in charge of EVERYTHING, what would be the first thing you would do to make the world a better place?

Get rid of fossil fuels and switch to renewables.

Finish this sentence: money can’t buy you happiness, but it can afford you…

Security. I was in a bad place financially after my divorce, and the lack of security – worrying about paying rent and for food – was extremely stressful.

What is the best thing you have been gifted or purchased on your own within the last year? 

Two overseas holidays.

If you could give a woman who is 10 years younger than you a single piece of advice, what would it be?

I’m not sure I would have anything to offer a 60-year-old woman in the way of advice.  However, I’d give two pieces of advice to a woman in her 20s/30s: 1. Be financially independent and protect yourself financially. Never let yourself be financially at the mercy of your partner. 2. Pursue sexual pleasure in the same way men do. Get out there and fuck around – don’t let anyone slut-shame you because you can never have too many sexual partners.

Is there anyone who knows everything about you?

No.

If you knew that life was short, what is one thing you would do right now?

Tell everyone I care about how much they mean to me and that I love them.

If you knew that life was long, what is one thing you would do right now?

Find someone good to share it with.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I’m so grateful to have been born when I was and where I was.  Effective contraception became available to women in my lifetime, to my generation (broadly, Boomers).  So much good has come to women from being able to choose when they get pregnant and to whom.  Before that, they were so often trapped by circumstance – the misfortune of an unwanted pregnancy, both in and out of marriage.  And I am very lucky to have been born in Australia – we’re not perfect, but we are, in so many respects, the lucky country.