#378. being suspended mid air & feeling like a badass wonder woman

Age: 47

Relationship Status: I live together with my partner of almost 22 years (we’re unmarried) and our 8-year-old son.

Occupation: singer / songwriter / performer / creative / Mom

Income: 25.000 yearly

Astrological Sign: Pisces

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?Honestly, I would probably be scrolling more on my phone, which I hate, cause socials media is addictive and toxic, and I want to set an example for my son by leaving my phone alone. But one of my goals for this year is to do more creative things. So, ideally, I would try to spend that extra hour on something creative like drawing, playing piano, or photographing. Or working out. Anything that’s healthy for my body and/or mind & heart.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

Everyone is going through stuff, so always be friendly to people, and especially strangers, even if you’re annoyed and trying to settle something that’s been bugging you. You don’t know how their day is going and what they’ve been through. By being friendly and patient, you can accomplish more, AND maybe even make their day a little bit better.

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

‘Hire a manager’. Did that once, and I went against my gut feeling. Ultimately, I did it better myself.

When have you felt most accepted?

When I performed Disney Songs in front of 300 big Disney fans on my birthday this year. They were all Disney adults, and maybe 3 kids were present. Everyone accepted and respected each other’s quirks, and for once, I could belt out Disney songs without thinking “what would people think of me, a 47-year-old mom in a pink tutu doing this?” It was absolute bliss, and I had the best Birthday!

When have you felt most supported?

My entire life, by my mom, who ALWAYS believes in me, roots for me, and supports me in everything I do. Every time I have a crazy idea, and I tell her about it (even when it’s just a plan that never gets executed), she shares my enthusiasm and believes in me, helping me achieve my goals.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

Toxic people who steal your energy without returning any of it.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

No and yes. I’ve never had any fears my entire life, until I became a mom. Suddenly, you’re afraid of everything because you want what’s best for your child. The only thing I can do daily is talk about the things that scare me with my partner, family, and friends.

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

Always do something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.

What is one promise that you have kept to someone else?

That I will love my son always and forever. Even when he’s angry with me, even when I’m angry with him, I will always love him, no matter what.

How do you cope with stress?

Being a Pisces in Western Astrology and a Sheep/Goat in Chinese Astrology, I am EXTREMELY sensitive and empathetic. So if I let stress get the better of me, it would probably kill me. I have learned to “be a slide, not a sponge”, and let the stress slide off of me as much as possible rather than to absorb it. It doesn’t always work, of course. But in case I struggle with stress, the ‘easier’ way to manage it is (in a nutshell): Can I do something about the situation? (YES: do it, or try to do it. NO: accept it and move on)

What is a moment you are most proud of?

I have accomplished some things that I once thought were hard or ‘impossible’ to accomplish. It all started with a crazy idea, and people who supported me said, ‘You know what? Let’s do that!’ Example: I once wanted to record a music video where I was flying through the air in front of a large crowd. Then I got asked to perform at a festival and asked the organization if it was ok to realize my plan there, and they said: SURE! So I did. I sang live in front of 10.000 people, suspended in mid-air, doing somersaults while I was 3 months pregnant, and made a music video of it. Still makes me feel like a badass Wonder Woman.

How do you celebrate yourself?

By taking a hot bath or shower when I’m home alone, doing a self-care hair & skin routine, cooking myself a delicious dinner, and watching my favorite series/movie from the sofa, or reading a lovely, smutty novel, under a blanket and with my two cats. Occasionally, there might be Ben & Jerry’s involved.

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

Compliments. I’m someone who always needs some form of applause. So whatever I do, I do it the best way I can and hope to get some sort of compliment. Compliments are my fuel. That’s why I also always try to compliment others whenever I can. It can really make a difference to someone’s day.

What is something you feel like you are inherently worthy of?

Love.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

I change my mind daily. But that’s probably hormones x insecurity (haha)

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

Lots of things. I have said some stupid things in the past. Hurt some people. But then again, if I didn’t make those mistakes, I also couldn’t have learned from them. I’m not happy about the mistakes, and it was never my intention to hurt someone. Despite those moments, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.

What does being true to yourself mean?

Always listen to your gut feeling. If something inside you tells you, ‘this doesn’t feel good’, don’t do it.

When do you feel in control?

When I have my sh*t together. That starts with having enough sleep, so I have enough energy during the day to cross things off my to-do list. Sleep, however, lately, is something I never seem to get enough of, since perimenopausal hormones have their own game plan. Assholes.

When do you feel out of control?

When too much hits me at once, I feel overwhelmed – like I need to take a step back and handle one thing at a time. And on the other hand, when I’m super excited about something, I get hyper enthusiastic and tend to babble, and I can’t control myself.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

I honestly don’t care what people think of me. Even though I love to get compliments, I do things that make me happy. That way, I hope to share my happiness with my loved ones and spread some of my joy to others. Life is too short, so have fun!

BONUS: Tell me something good.

If you follow the herd, you’ll always walk through sh*t.