#375. loving plants, losing to a narcissist & finding peace

Age: 57 and a half

Relationship Status: Very single

Occupation: Writing / Teaching English / Part-time exam invigilator and professional procrastinator.

Income: It varies depending on what I’m doing, but I can be very resourceful.

Astrological Sign: Taurus

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?

Add it to the morning.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

Hold your nerve.

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

Get married

When have you felt most accepted?

Public speaking about my ethical coffee company. Meeting with my editor to change certain chapters of my book. Teaching science to a classroom of ten-year-olds.

When have you felt most supported?

When I left Italy after nine years, I had planned to travel on my own - my best friend heard this and said ‘nope’. She flew over, and we did the road trip together. My expectation was to do it alone but having her with me was incredible.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

Love maybe? I miss having that connection but am also terrified of yet again the ‘wrong’ person. I have tried, but things are so strange out there.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

DIY, specifically flat packs. I am so bad at it, but living alone in a new apartment in a place I know very few people, not to mention trying to save money…needs must. So, I decided to open the flat pack and build the wardrobe. It took a couple of days, but I did it, and despite the slightly wonky sliding door, I feel so proud. I have done a total of three now : )

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

To be less critical, especially of myself.

What is one promise that you have kept to someone else?

I don’t break promises; if I say I will, I will.

How do you cope with stress?

Regular exercise, long walks on the beach, pilates class, and I bought a spin bike, and I love it and hate it two or three times a week, but I know the good it does.

What is a moment you are most proud of?

Publishing my book and being told (by strangers) that the writing was really good. That meant the world to me.

How do you celebrate yourself?

By making really pretty and healthy food, which I love, opening a decent bottle of wine as a treat, and dancing by myself.

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

Anything I spend money on, I have to justify or offset…I love plants, but I am only allowed a new one if there is space or one has outgrown a pot. I made a New Year’s resolution this year, nothing new, only vintage clothes. If I sell something, then I am allowed to buy something, so far it is working out beautifully!

What is something you feel like you are inherently worthy of?

Choices.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

Yesterday, I decided I wouldn’t drill holes in the wall to put up a temporary curtain rail.

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

The time I lost to a narcissist.

What does being true to yourself mean?

I feel it; if it doesn’t feel right, my whole body knows.

When do you feel in control?

When my nervous system is quiet, then I know I am okay.

When do you feel out of control?

When I am accused of something I didn’t do.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

I am responsible for making the most of it.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I have found peace, I feel so incredibly lucky, and if this can happen to me after so much pain, then I know I will be okay.