#365. letting things run over you like a cool stream

Age: 22

Relationship Status: In a relationship (4 months!)

Occupation: Event Manager

Income: $60,000

Astrological Sign: Leo

If you had an extra hour each day, what would you do with it?

I’d go to the gym or get my body moving in another way. My job requires long hours and little consistency - it’s so difficult to find the time to move.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

You are not a mind reader. If someone is upset with you or wants some part of your behavior to change, it is their responsibility to tell you. You can’t spend your life guessing what everyone around you is thinking.

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever received?

My coworker suggested using AI to write interview questions, and I’ve never had such a negative response to anything. It’s so impersonal and wasteful—if you can’t be bothered to write your own interview questions, why should anyone want to work for you?

When have you felt most accepted?

Sitting around the kitchen table with my roommates, talking about everything and nothing.

When have you felt most supported?

After my last breakup. I texted everyone I knew and immediately had a support system ready to help me get through every emotion.

Is there anything you are avoiding?

Most of my mind-numbing tasks at work, cleaning out my wardrobe, going to the gym, tidying my desk, and laundry. Always laundry.

Have you ever confronted a fear? How did it go?

Going out used to be terrifying. I never went to parties in high school and spent the early parts of my college experience staying in. Going to the club for the first time was like stepping into a whole new world. After a few times though, I’ve grown to love it.

What is one promise that you have kept to yourself?

I’ve promised to quit biting my nails and I’ve been mostly free for over a year. I can even paint my nails consistently!

What is one promise that you have kept to someone else?

I’ve promised my father to be aware of my money and my future, and I’ve been trying my hardest. Roth IRA, 401(3)b, high yield savings account, no credit card debt. It’s difficult, but I’ve been pretty consistent.

How do you cope with stress?

My worst habits are stress eating and picking at my skin. I need external stimulus to get the stress out of me. Then, I end up in an endless cycle of stressing about my coping mechanisms and yet continuing to do them.

What is a moment you are most proud of?

I was promoted recently, and that felt amazing. I’ve been doing so much at this job, and it’s lovely to be recognized.

How do you celebrate yourself?

An iced chai from the café across the street from work. An hour playing my favorite video game. Watching a movie that’s been on my list forever. Anything that makes me feel like me!

What is something that you feel like you have to earn?

My place in other people’s lives. I have a hard time believing people like me for who I am, not for what I can do for them. I used to equate my worth with how much I could help people, and I’m slowly trying to convince myself that people will like me even if I’m not useful.

What is something you feel like you are inherently worthy of?

Kindness. It’s a baseline. There’s no reason not to be kind. I do my best to be kind to others, and while I’m not always successful, I expect others to do their best to extend the same kindness to me.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

This evening, deciding on what to have for dinner. I was going to finish pasta leftovers, but instead had a big sandwich. Great choice.

Is there anything you wish you could take back?

I’ve had to work to manage my excessive guilt, so I do my best to let things run over me like a cool stream. That being said, anyone, I’ve had casual sex or dated casually, I wish I ended things differently.

What does being true to yourself mean?

Knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. Knowing your true limits, but also knowing when you need to just push through something. I have a horrible habit of canceling plans or not doing things because I’m tired or I don’t think I’ll like whatever it is, so I limit myself a lot.

When do you feel in control?

When I know exactly what’s going on. I’m an information gal—if I know everything, I can organize it myself and coordinate with others to make everything happen. Surprises are fun if I know what to expect…

When do you feel out of control?

When I can’t catch my breath. If I can’t complete things in time, and the work (at the office and in my home life) piles up, I can’t keep up.

Finish this sentence: It’s my life and…

I like it a lot!

BONUS: Tell me something good.

My boyfriend and I are going on a date next week!