#348. night shifts, knowing too much & being praised

Age: 23

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Registered Nurse

Income: ~$100,000

Astrological Sign: Gemini

How are you, really?

Lately, I have been pretty depressed to keep it simple. Since moving back home from college, my parents have initiated a divorce, and it’s been hard hearing about the reasons that have led them to this place. Watching them never interact with each other is sad. My perception of love is tainted.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I've started traveling more. I try to go somewhere once a month for a weekend trip. I love being able to see different parts of the country and experiencing new things with my best friends.

What is something you hope never changes?

My humor and my friendships.

When do you feel most capable?

When I am with my friends, they encourage and support me so much. I gain so much confidence when they are around.

How do you nurture yourself?

Getting monthly massages, taking supplements, going on walks, and starting therapy.

How do you nurture others?

Just listening and offering support to those who need it. If I know that any of my friends are having a hard time, I make sure to check in on them regularly. I also love cooking, and in college, it brought me so much joy being able to cook a weekly dinner for my roommates.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

Sometimes I wish I told off all the men who have done me wrong. I used to hold my tongue a lot and just let things be, but I have come to realize that I get more closure knowing that I said everything that could have been said. You only live once, so why keep anything in?

What is something that turns you on?

Good teeth and, honestly, getting praised.

What is something that turns you off?

Poor hygiene and bad communication skills.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

Last August, I was seeing this guy who wouldn't stick to his word; he would say one thing but never follow through, and eventually I just got sick of it. I wanted more, and he couldn't give me a straight answer. So, the last time that we hung out, we were lying in bed and I told him, “I think this is going to be the last time that I see you”, and it was.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

Not often enough. I think once I make the switch to the day shift, I'll achieve balance more often.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

I don't think I take many risks. The only thing that I can think of is not studying more before exams in college, but here I am with a bachelor's degree.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

At work, when there's an emergency/code with a patient or a patient with a diagnosis that I haven't had a lot of experience with.

How do you move forward?

Talking through it multiple times, giving myself the space to cry if needed, and not holding it in.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

My friends, a good meme, and the movie No Hard Feelings. And honestly myself, I think I am pretty funny

What is something that will always make you cry?

Lately, talking about my parents divorcing. Besides that, the ending of A Star is Born with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

Have you ever been betrayed?

I wouldn't say betrayed, but with my parents' divorce after hearing things from both of them about what has happened in their marriage, my perspective has changed a bit about how I view them. I realize that they did a good job at pretending, and each of them has flaws. Sometimes I wish I had never heard some of the things that I was told.

What is your greatest temptation?

Doordash. After working a night shift, sometimes I really have no motivation to make myself breakfast, and having the ability to order food to your door is hard to pass up.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

Romance and a consistent routine. Working nights, I can't predict how tired I'll be on my days off. There have been some days when I have slept the whole day away and have gotten nothing done.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

Sleep. Since working night shifts, I think I have developed insomnia, so it's been hard to get a decent sleep. And shoes, I love a good pair of heels!

BONUS: Tell me something good.

My birthday was Monday, and I have the most amazing friends who took it upon themselves to plan a “surprise” party (I know it's happening, just no details) for me this weekend!