#340. healthy habits, homecoming videos & remembering we are all human

Age: 37

Relationship Status: Single, never married (and no desire to tbh)

Occupation: Fish & Wildlife Biologist by trade, cosplaying as an Asbestos Program Manager (corporate infrastructure)

Income: $112K/year

Astrological Sign: Cancer

How are you, really?

I am constantly whiplashing between excitement at exploring my new home and furious heartbreak at watching America, plummet into fascism and chaos, knowing there is nothing (legally) that I can do to help, resulting in overstimulated numbness where I just say “fuck it all” and wish for non-existence… rinse and repeat.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I put digital wellness timers on apps to keep me from doom-scrolling every second and schedule my entire day in my phone calendar to tell me what I’m doing the next minute to take the burden of my mind away from me. It reminds me of being back in the military.

What is something you hope never changes?

I hope there will always be helpers to look for when the worst things happen. I hope the ingrained social bonds of humanity and empathy are not beaten and bred out of our species, as it seems to be slowly doing. I hope we remember we are all human.

When do you feel most capable?

When I am on my own. I can guarantee whatever it is will either get done correctly or be my own fault if it doesn’t, thus negating the awkwardness of failure in a social setting.

How do you nurture yourself?

I read the fuck out of some fanfiction, but I also spend time in nature to disconnect, bake to feel cozy, watch Star Wars to immerse myself into a different universe, and play with my dog to feel silly joy.

How do you nurture others?

I feed them what I bake, always ask  “do you want advice or do you want to vent?” when they come to me with their concerns, and have an open invite to any random thing  I‘m doing if they find themselves in need of company

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

Pretty much any time I’ve told a guy I loved him, it was never worth it.

What is something that turns you on?

Sassy, competent, and hilarious with a heart of gold (basically Obi-Wan Kenobi).

What is something that turns you off?

Overconfidence and braggadocio that you can just TELL is rooted in deep insecurity and caring WAY too much about what people think. Literally, no one cares - live life how you want!

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

Last year, when I went no contact with my deeply MAGA family and left the country due to its worrisome future (I am extremely privileged to be able to have the option to leave).

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

My rampant AuDHD means never.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

Moving out of the United States.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

When I am stuck in my 9-5, M-F, doing NOTHING due to a fluctuating workload, the inability to be free and in control of my schedule eats my brain… I’m working on a solution for the future.

How do you move forward?

A combination of pure spite and loving my dog.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

Any Mel Brooks film (Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein are my top faves).

What is something that will always make you cry?

Ewan McGregor sobbing at the end of Moulin Rouge, and those military homecoming surprise videos with their dog (you can’t tell dogs why you were gone!).

Have you ever been betrayed?

Yes.

What is your greatest temptation?

Full body liposuction, I don’t care much what I look like but I would like to tie my shoes without wheezing and trying to maintain healthy habits in this nightmare of a corporate world is so damn hard.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

Full freedom/control over my time and energy.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

Archive of Our Own <3.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

After 500 years, beavers have naturally returned to their native home in Portugal. Keystone engineers that are so very important for healthy landscapes.