#336. strength, space & the version of yourself that didn't settle

Age: 39

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Corporate HR

Income: 165,000

Astrological Sign: Pisces

How are you, really?

It’s a hard question to answer. Internally, I feel stronger and more in tune with myself than ever. I’m doing the work, and it shows in how I move through the world. But externally? The state of the world has left me raw. I’m anxious, heartbroken, angry. It’s strange to hold personal growth and collective grief at the same time but that’s the duality I’m living in.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I let go of the people who drained me or disrespected boundaries. I started listening to my body instead of overriding it and that one decision changed everything. I walked away from a friend group that thrived on judgment and gossip. It’s been lonelier, yes. But quieter, and safer. Now, I know the people in my life are here for the real me & not a version of me built for their comfort.

What is something you hope never changes?

My capacity for empathy. My ability to truly listen and connect with people on a deeper level has always felt like my superpower. In this next chapter of life, I’m learning to use it with more intention & offering it where it’s earned, not just where it’s needed.

When do you feel most capable?

When I’m moving my body. Whether it’s a workout, a long walk, or just dancing in my kitchen. When I move, I remember I’m alive. The rush of energy, the hit of dopamine, the clarity that follows, it’s when I feel the most unstoppable.

How do you nurture yourself?

By creating space to slow down and listen to what my body and nervous system are asking for. I journal, stretch, walk my dog, cry when I need to, and remind myself that healing isn’t linear. I’m also learning to honor rest without guilt. I’m not quite there yet but I’m working on breaking those negative loops and building more positive ones.

How do you nurture others?

Through deep listening, presence, and words. I naturally hold space for people’s emotions, often making them feel seen in ways they’ve never experienced. I try to offer the kind of compassion I wish I had growing up.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

Yes. So many things. I’ve spent too much time biting my tongue to keep the peace or avoid rejection. That’s changing now.

What is something that turns you on?

Confidence, emotional depth, and humor. Someone who owns their healing, asks questions and shows up.

What is something that turns you off?

Arrogance, people who talk over others, needing to be the smartest in the room, or use sarcasm as a shield. Also, anyone who dismisses therapy or growth work? Immediate ick.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

A few months ago. I cut off all communication with my family. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but my body has felt lighter ever since. Peace > obligation.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

Rarely, but I’m actively working toward it. When I do feel balanced, it’s because I’ve prioritized my own rhythms over society’s expectations.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

Choosing myself, over and over again, even when it meant being alone. Every time I’ve walked away from what looked “right” but felt wrong, something better has come.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

When I ignore my needs and overextend to avoid disappointing others. Also: too much noise, too many notifications, or too many tabs open (literal or emotional).

How do you move forward?

One gut-wrenching truth at a time. I write, I walk, I talk to my inner child. I let grief be loud. I cry in the shower. And then I get back up.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

My dog. It’s been her and I for almost 11 years now and she makes me laugh daily.

What is something that will always make you cry?

Stories of people being deeply seen or loved in their most broken moments. And when someone stands up for someone else without hesitation. Watching people achieve their goals, my most recent cry was when Kimi Antonelli got his first podium in F1 last weekend, if you aren’t watching F1 you should be!

Have you ever been betrayed?

Too many times to count. By people I loved, trusted, and would’ve done anything for. But each betrayal taught me something about boundaries, discernment, and my own worth.

What is your greatest temptation?

Aside from packing it all up and running away without telling anyone, shrinking myself to be liked or keep the peace.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

A true sense of belonging. I’m craving a connection that feels safe, expansive, and reciprocal.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

The sun on my skin, mornings that start slow, deep conversations, and the feeling after a Lagree class when I’m exhausted but proud.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

Somewhere out there, the version of you who didn’t settle for the relationship, the city, the old self is already so proud that you kept going.