#330. eating lemons, loving yourself, & leaving an abusive relationship

Age: 38

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Executive Assistant

Income: $67k

Astrological Sign: cancer

How are you, really?

I’m better than I’ve been. Honestly, taking everything day by day and giving myself grace through it all.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I left my 12-year abusive relationship. I walked away from my home, and my two dogs. Which absolutely breaks my heart every time I think about it. But I’d say the biggest change I’ve made this year was for the first time in my life, getting my own apartment and living on my own. Focusing now on myself and moving forward with what life has in store for me.

What is something you hope never changes?

This new love I have for myself. The new sense of worth I have for myself.

When do you feel most capable?

I feel most capable when I can help someone I care about who is hurt or going through a tough time.

How do you nurture yourself?

I find the time for everything. Everything or anyone who makes me happy. I take my time waking up in the morning. I’m trying to get into a routine that doesn’t rattle my nervous system. Giving myself hugs throughout the day, letting myself know that we got this and that I’m here for myself, always.

How do you nurture others?

I let them know they’re not alone. I show up for them when they need it. That’s a trait I’ve always carried throughout my life. Takers have taken advantage of it, but I’m more aware of that now than I was.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

How much I fucking hate him. But the good in me won’t let it come out because I see a hurt little boy. Hurt people, hurt people, and I don’t want to continue a pattern he created.

What is something that turns you on?

A man who leads. Takes my hand and explores cities or new adventures with me. Little me feels safe and protected, but also excited because I have someone walking beside me, not behind me.

What is something that turns you off?

Oof. Lack of discernment for sure. I have absolutely no space in my life for anyone who can’t even consider me.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

December 7th, 2024.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

Everyday.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

When I was looking for an apartment, I was getting frustrated with all the tours I kept booking, and the units looked nothing like they were advertised. So, I decided to go outside of the radius I was staying in, and I found my apartment.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

Grocery shopping at Costco.

How do you move forward?

One foot in front of the other. Day by day. I tell myself I’ve had worst days than this, and I’m still here.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

Watching my niece eat lemons. She’s obsessed even though she knows they’re sour and she’ll have a reaction.

What is something that will always make you cry?

The realization that my parents won’t be around forever.

Have you ever been betrayed?

Multiple times. Looking back, I can reassure myself that it had nothing to do with me and more to do with that person. But it still hurt to go through.

What is your greatest temptation?

Ugh. Wanting to please everyone, even when it means neglecting myself.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

The one dog I shared with my ex.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

At the moment, watching unsolved mysteries.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I recently signed myself up for yoga classes.