#318. repairing a marriage, going on Accutane & traveling the world

Age: 26

Relationship Status: Married (1.5 years)

Occupation: Registered Postpartum Nurse

Income: ~$75,000

Astrological Sign: Leo

How are you, really? 

I’ve been doing okay lately. My marriage took a big hit last year as newlyweds, and it’s been hard to process through everything. I realized that last year, I needed professional help by seeing a licensed therapist. My mental health has been okay. I have a great life on social media, but obviously, I want my life in person to be better than what it looks like on social media.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

Honestly, I’ve struggled with acne ever since I was ~12 years old, so I finally went on Accutane after a lot of past skepticism and hesitation. I’ve legit tried everything under the sun for acne and I’m finally seeing a difference with Accutane. Additionally, I’ve gotten back to going to the gym at least 1-2x/week. Professional counseling has been an amazing experience and something I truly recommend to everyone. 

What is something you hope never changes? 

I hope and pray the relationship with my family never changes. I’m so blessed to have incredible parents who support me (and my husband) and encourage me to pursue my dreams of becoming a registered nurse and also traveling the world.

When do you feel most capable? 

I feel most capable when I feel confident in something. That I know what I’m doing, when I’m able to answer questions, when I see personal growth in myself, when I can just be me and not have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

How do you nurture yourself? 

I nurture myself by using some of my therapy techniques - talking things out, but not verbally vomiting on people, journaling, praying, and seeing the bigger root issue behind problems / why things bother me.

How do you nurture others?

As a Postpartum RN, I am automatically nurturing in the kind words I say and the care I give. For friends and family, I hope to be someone who says kind things and shows it through my actions. I want to provide comfort for other people that I aim to be real. Knowing that, I need to pour into myself first in order to pour into others.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t? 

In high school and college, I was rejected by multiple guys that I liked at the time. I wish I were brave and bold enough to actually have a discussion with them about it instead of just taking it. I wish I hadn’t watered myself down at the time but actually stood up for myself and knew that I was valuable no matter what they thought. I am of Indian nationality and can be really insecure about it. I wish I had called them out on some of their BS, too. Additionally, I wish I called my ex-best friend out for all the crap she did near the end of our relationship and the inability to take accountability for her end of the stick!

What is something that turns you on?

People who are genuinely kind and approachable, people whose words align with their actions, people that do the work to better themselves instead of tolerating crap behavior from themselves or others, those who are selfless and care for others. In a sexual way with my husband, having a healthy emotional connection 1st, then being physical comes so naturally and is 10x more fun.

What is something that turns you off?

People who smoke, do drugs/get drunk frequently, have bad hygiene, swear/use foul language/locker talk, are immature, lack of self-awareness/inconsideration / egocentric, people who need to be loud in order to be seen, or focus on social media fame and followers and not real life.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

I feel like I walked away from the 9-5 M-F rat race of life. I refuse to believe that the rat race or climbing the ladder is the only way to happiness and success. So, I try to use my schedule as a nurse to create time for me and my husband/family to travel in-state or internationally as much as we can. I knew I could never be satisfied with just living an average life, when I feel like I was meant for more.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

As a night-shift nurse, I’ve realized the importance of taking care of yourself and how we truly only have a short time on this earth if you really think about it. Traveling has been one of my biggest passions in life, so I try to travel as much as I can. When I’m not traveling, I go to counseling, spend time with my husband/family/friends, try to go to the gym and eat healthier, and do things to take my mind off of work. There’s always pressure to pick up shifts to earn more money, but taking care of myself is the priority. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward? 

I am an ambassador for a young adult travel company, and I have been posting content for them on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok for a few years now. This has been my flourishing side gig, which has helped my husband and me afford to travel as we do. I’ve pushed myself way out of my comfort zone by posting content and especially making YouTube videos, which has allowed us to continue traveling as much as possible before having kids. I risk being talked about or even some jealousy among my coworkers especially.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

I feel incredibly overwhelmed and anxious thinking about the future. My mother’s older than most moms when their kid is in mid-20s, so there’s extreme pressure to have kids sooner rather than later. I don’t feel the time crunch as much with my Dad’s age. Truthfully, I’m not ready to be a mother and am scared of the commitment and cost of raising a child. I selfishly want to travel the world more and am sad if that has to be cut short. Traveling would look different and be way more expensive with kids. I want my parents to be grandparents so badly because I know they would both be amazing at it. My husband wants kids sooner than I do (he’s 3 years older than me), but I’m personally not ready yet and don’t want to rush myself into a huge commitment. The decision to wait until I’m in my 30s and enjoy the time of just us with kids or have kids around 28-29?!?! 

How do you move forward?

One of the reasons I joined counseling was to learn how to move forward and apply the Serenity Prayer into my life. Also, being a Christian, just learning how to forgive others/myself more.

What is something that will always make you laugh? 

Nurse Johnn Tik Toks, kids who say cute things, my husband when he’s not being annoying.

What is something that will always make you cry?

The thought of one day losing my Mother and my Dad, and the idea of losing my Grandparents. I get depressed over it pretty much every day, but I’m trying to live in the present more.

Have you ever been betrayed? 

I have a few times, unfortunately. One story I’ll share: At the end of high school, I watched my “best friend” at the time get sick of me and replace me with a new girl I introduced her to. When I went to college out of state, she was so unsupportive and was glad to get me out of her life, apparently.

What is your greatest temptation? 

Whenever there’s a minor/major inconvenience in my life, I feel the urge to search for flights and book a flight. The shallow thought process of leaving my current life and traveling will solve all of my problems. There is a fine balance between spending and investing in memories and having savings and retirement accounts for the future. The temptation to keep up with some of my other traveler friends who travel way more than me… I’d like to look at their bank accounts to be honest!

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

• I feel like I’m missing the ability to JUST be in the present. No thoughts of the past or future, otherwise I’m going to spiral. 

• I feel like I’ve been growing closer to God lately, but spending more time in the Word and truly listening to Him has been challenging these days

• Gratitude. There’s so much to be thankful for. Sometimes I wonder why I complain and find small things to be petty over. 

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

You guessed it… TRAVEL! I can’t and will never get enough of traveling and seeing the world, learning about different cultures, trying new foods, meeting and talking to people, etc. It’s been one of the biggest highlights of my life! I’m a firm believer that everyone should leave the country at least once!

BONUS: Tell me something good. 

Me and my husband’s marriage is healing through the help of our own individual counseling and couples counseling. We are heading to Australia and New Zealand soon and are excited to have a great time together!