#314. feeling lonely, family hilarity & having a backbone

Age: 32

Relationship Status: married

Occupation: speech language pathologist

Income: $58,000

Astrological Sign: leo sun, cancer rising/moon

How are you, really?

 Honestly, I feel pretty lonely, almost like a supporting character in everyone else’s life.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I think I've become more spiritual, and I am taking steps toward identifying why I feel the way I do to understand my emotions on a deeper level. I should probably invest in therapy.

What is something you hope never changes?

My friend group really makes an effort to celebrate all our friends' birthdays throughout the year through dinners and trips, and I hope it’s something that we always continue to do.

When do you feel most capable?

I don't mean to toot my horn, but I am a solidly good dog mom.

How do you nurture yourself?

I take baths and read. A LOT. and cuddle with my dogs.

How do you nurture others?

I am an empathetic person by nature. I try to allow others the space to vent out their emotions. I’m not a good cook, but I like to bring food to people as well.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

I should have said, “I’ll miss you, and I need to move on without you.”

What is something that turns you on?

Emotional intimacy. I want to feel wanted and loved, not just a body for you.

What is something that turns you off?  

For the love of god, quit sending dick pics and asking for videos and pictures in return. Do not make me fucking feel bad for not wanting to send them. Lastly, stonewalling is emotional abuse.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

I quit a job to further my education and future career.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

Never. I show up for my career consistently, but everything else in my life feels like it's always in a cycle of ups and downs.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

Applying to graduate school. I truly and absolutely love my job.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

In graduate school was probably the most overwhelmed I've ever been in my life. I have not felt that level since, but I do feel it when I get about eight requests for reports at one time on top of keeping up with therapy paperwork.

How do you move forward? 

My life motto is: “It is what it is.”

What is something that will always make you laugh? 

My family is quite hilarious. I think we would make a great reality TV show. And I don't care if it's immature, farts are funny.

What is something that will always make you cry?

Books, weddings, death, movies, drinking. Basically everything.

Have you ever been betrayed?

It sure felt like it. I would be a fool to say that I was completely innocent.

What is your greatest temptation? 

I crave sweets all the time. Buy stock in Hershey. I keep that company in business.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

A backbone. I really need to start expressing shit when I'm mad instead of holding it in.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of? 

Music. I listen to music every day to quiet my brain. Concerts are some of my favorite memories. Songs tell stories and evoke so much emotion, and music is a way to express how you feel when you can’t quite think of the right words.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

There are so many beautiful places to explore and people you have yet to meet in this life. Start your interactions off with a genuine smile, and try to remember that most people are inherently good.