#31. independence, engineering & eating snacks on a mountain

Age: 27

Relationship Status: Who knows!  

Occupation: Engineer

Income: $140,000

Astrological Sign: Virgo

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Open my blinds! Natural light is so crucial for me to actually feel awake.

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When? 

I think so, at least in temporary moments – I like to go on long hikes and road trips by myself, and sometimes when I’m alone in nature, I am able to get to this beautiful state of connection with the earth as well as with my own body. I also feel this when I’m able to spend time with dear friends who have known me since childhood. 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought?

That I will grow old and die alone – I don’t want children, and that’s hard to reconcile with what our culture tells us about how women should live their lives.

What is your most repetitive, positive thought? 

I fuckin' love my friends! I am so damn lucky to know these smart, kind, interesting people who want to talk to me and spend time with me.

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?

How quickly produce goes bad! I try to eat healthy, but I live alone, so it’s always a race against soggy spinach around here.

What are three things you want to put every woman onto? 

1. Countertop herb gardens

2. Using the public library system

3. Going to therapy

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

love, money, laughter, sex, food

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood? 

My parents raised me in a pretty rigid/high-standards environment, so I spent the first few years of adulthood taking some space to unlearn that. Recently, as they’ve gotten older, we’ve gotten closer again, and I’ve made peace with the way they are.

When do you feel most like yourself? 

While traveling, actually! I think being outside of my normal environment gives me “permission” to engage with the world in exactly the way I want, which is awesome.

What is the best compliment someone has ever given you? 

One of my friends told me that I am incredibly powerful. That one stuck with me

How do you feel about falling in love? 

It’s a gift every time! Even the relationships that haven’t worked out over the years have taught me so much about love and about myself.

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

It comes in different forms, but I am sick of hearing men tell me that I’m “too emotional” or “taking things personally” in the context of working in engineering. Maybe I’m frustrated because you keep talking over me, and somehow, it’s my problem to be smiley and nice when I’m telling you to stop talking over me.

How often do you feel alone? 

It comes in waves. I think I always live on the edge between happily independent and overly isolated, so I try to pay attention to that feeling of aloneness when it comes up and see what it’s steering me to do (maybe make some plans with friends or call my mom).

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime? 

Really good sex, traveling outside of your own country, feeling appreciated.

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Addiction, sexual assault, being homeless… lots of stuff.

What is the best decision you’ve ever made? 

Going to therapy…by far.

When do you feel most at ease? 

Eating snacks on top of a mountain or reading a book under several layers of blankets.

What does having a successful life mean to you? 

Meaningful work, building a chosen family, and being at peace with yourself.

How often do you think about your body? 

Allllll the time. I used to have a really negative relationship with my body and have settled into a kind of accepting truce, but a bad candid photo or an uncomfortable piece of clothing will still throw me off. I wish this didn’t matter to me so much. 

When do you ask for help? 

Not as often as I should! I wish I could ask for help as soon as I feel like I could use it, but instead, I usually end up waiting until there are clear negative consequences.

What is something you feel strongly about?

Social media is designed to make us feel isolated and shitty about ourselves so that we buy more stuff. We’re absolutely doing a huge disservice to ourselves and especially the younger generation by creating a world where it’s so hard not to engage with Instagram, tiktok, etc.

BONUS: Tell me something good. 

I have a new person in my life! He’s very sweet and respectful and has a ton of cool hobbies that provide a near-infinite well of fun date ideas. And he's cute. It's all still very new, but I feel like a teenager with a crush, and I can’t wait to see how it goes.