#301. A New Set of Questions is Here!

Age: 31

Current Residence: New York City

Relationship Status: Single and loving it.

Occupation: Self-Development Coach, Author, Founder of TLD HER, Curator of TLD HER: 20 Questions, Host of TLD HER: The Podcast

Income: Ever-changing.

Astrological Sign: Scorpio Sun (and Venus, and stellium), Aquarius Moon, Aries Rising

How are you, really?

Right now, I am feeling really good! I think it’s maybe the change of season or the fiery nature of Aries season, but I have a new-found fire lit under my ass. I’m feeling very inspired, creative and kind of feisty.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

I am much more mindful of my stress level.  I visited a new doctor in January, underwent a comprehensive blood panel, and implemented some lifestyle changes. So far, it’s been great, and adding prescribed vitamin D has been a game changer. I have also started back up with therapy and ended a long-term relationship. At 31, I’m really trying to eliminate all that isn’t working anymore and add more of the things that enhance my overall life experience.

What is something you hope never changes?

I hope to always love my career as much as I do currently. I feel so happy and fulfilled. I cherish the work I do and feel so energized by  ALL of it (even the small and/or tedious stuff).

When do you feel most capable?

When I’m working / in my purpose.

Or when I am planning something – I am a very typical, type-A, eldest daughter who happens to be really good at organizing large groups of people and creating memorable experiences.

How do you nurture yourself?

Admittedly, this is not something I am great at. I love to nurture and take care of other people, but I often find myself last on the list. I feel most nurtured by myself when I allow myself true, unplugged rest. I try to take weekly time to just hang out with myself on my couch, make a beautiful meal for myself, maybe read or watch a show, and take it easy.

How do you nurture others?

How do I not nurture others would be a shorter list…

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

There are many things I wish I had said differently, but I generally pride myself on being someone who says what I mean and means what I say.

I am an external processor, so I need to get things off my chest. The older I’ve gotten, the better I have gotten at having reciprocal conversations that don’t lead to arguments.

What is something that turns you on?

Someone who can really make me laugh. I love good banter.

Also, deep conversation and emotional vulnerability…that’s hot.

What is something that turns you off?

So many things…

Dishonesty, poor hygiene, misogyny, people who are rude to waitstaff, tradition, close-mindedness, bad kissers, anyone who is racist, sexist, homophobic, heavy drinking, drug use, people who lack read-the-room ability, small talk. The list goes on.

My standards have been the reason I’ve had good relationships, both romantically and platonically, so I keep them high.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

Very recently, I ended a 5 year long, on-and-off relationship.

The right person at the wrong time is the wrong person.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

I don’t view balance as everything necessarily being equal, so that helps. I am okay with prioritizing certain things over others as life and circumstances change.

I once heard that the mark of a mentally and emotionally healthy person is their ability to be flexible. I have built a very strong foundation for myself, so I often feel balanced, even if that means needing to ebb and flow.

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

I am a huge risk-taker and am always rewarded.

Dropping out of college and starting my businesses stand out as the most controversial risks I’ve taken, which have yielded the largest rewards.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

When I say yes to something, I know I should say no to. I am so over doing things I don’t want to do. I feel extremely anxious and overwhelmed when I have a pending obligation.

How do you move forward?

Funny, I was just having this conversation yesterday.

I am able to move on from things like failure and disappointment easily.

I can also move on from people easily - my cut off game is strong.

But when it comes to moving with people, I cannot move forward without a genuine apology.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

My immediate family. My siblings are some of the funniest people I know.

What is something that will always make you cry?

Happy tears: seeing people accomplish their dreams. I feel very proud of anyone who achieves what they set their mind to.

Sad tears: thinking about how many people/children around the world don’t have access to food, water, shelter, and safety.

Have you ever been betrayed?

I have been lied to, stolen from, taken advantage of, and mistreated, but I don’t necessarily think of any of those things as a betrayal. I recognize that many people live in survival mode and that, for the most part, everyone is doing their best.

In other words, I’ve come to realize that what people have done ‘to’ me has much less to do with me than it felt like it did in the moment. I also have a pretty good judge of character and have never been surprised by what people who have ‘wronged me’ are capable of.

What is your greatest temptation?

The urge to change my phone number and tell no one…

Red wine, pepper biscuits, soft pretzels, the desire to tell people to go fuck themselves.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

A solid workout routine. I’d love to be someone who loves the gym.

I love workout classes, but I often find myself falling off the wagon when I travel or get busy with other things. I would love to be someone who works out 5 days a week, regardless of where I am and what kind of mood I’m in…I think I’ll get there.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

Solitude. I just really fucking love being with me, myself and I.

Also, these interviews! I love reading them so much – truly, nothing makes me happier than receiving emails from the incredible women who contribute to this project.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

We are so back, baby!