#295. childhood basements, clever conversations & taking some pressure off

Age: 21

Relationship Status: As single as single can get

Occupation: no job right now but just finished an internship that I loved!

Income: 0 (humbled in the best way)

Astrological Sign: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Rising, Leo Moon

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

When I get to go on my walk. It calms me and I feel like I am in my own little bubble, and no one can touch me. It’s my peace

What is your current happiness most dependent on?

Good, funny, and clever conversations. It doesn’t take much for me, as long as I’m laughing, I’m happy and my heart is light. I will however say my favorites are the drunk ones that create memories.

What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Myself. I wish I knew when to ask for help or advice, but I don’t because it makes me stronger. I like to do everything myself, but I also wish I could rely on other people without feeling like a burden to take some pressure off.

When do you question yourself?

Every. single. day. Whether that’s if I’m being a good friend, a good daughter, or overall just a good human being. I am so hard on myself for it, but ironically, my character is something I am most proud of.

What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

A whole lot of shitty experiences in relationships and situationships. I truly am so grateful for them because they’ve taught me what I want/don’t and made me feel like I deserve more daily. I am happy to say my self-worth has a strong foundation!!!!

What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

I feel like this was the hardest one for me to answer because I don’t really forgive myself at all. I don’t think I’ve ever done something drastically horrible (thank god, and knock on wood, it stays that way), but it’s the little things that get me, and probably because I hold myself to a high standard, I’m working on it! Maybe my future answer would be that I forgive myself all the time. Fingers crossed!

What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

I have had girls in my past be so brutally mean and say hurtful things, but something that I always did was forgive and never sink down to their level. Some say that’s a loss of self-respect, but I think it’s powerful and shapes you to be a better human.

How do you ground/center yourself?

Whenever I get too much in my head before I go to sleep, I sit in my room and talk to myself out loud. It sounds kinda insane, but I say the things that I am so lucky I get to have and so happy that god has given me and always tell myself, “Well, shit could be a whole lot worse.”

What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

My two best friends. They have stuck by me from elementary school all the way up until college, and they are the only two people in this world with whom I will ever share my real problems. Just even knowing that they are permanent in my life is the most comfort I will ever need to push me through anything. I love them so much it hurts.

Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

Honestly. Me right now and that’s the first time I’ve ever been able to say that with confidence. I feel like I’m finally figuring myself out, and I’m proud of the person I am - I see that when I help and give advice to the people I love. I’M GROWING, AND IT FEELS GOOOODDD!

What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

The whole “If he wanted to, he would” belief. I don’t think things are so cut and dry like that. There have been many times I have wanted to and didn’t. Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he doesn’t also feel those same limitations!

What is something you know for sure?

Love conquers all. It’s what you look for at the end of every good or bad day.

What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

1. Someone that I can talk to for hours on end, and it feels like 5 minutes.

2. A promise that it will always be him and I against the problem.

3. Just love me. Wholeheartedly. No if ands or buts.

When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

When I’m in my childhood basement, that was the spot growing up for me, my best friends, and my siblings. We did everything from playing with baby dolls to drinking alcohol for the first time in that place. It holds so many memories; I feel them whenever I’m down there.

Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

I think I look for this moment a lot in romantic relationships. I haven't had one yet, but when I do, I feel like I know they are the one. Does that make sense? Or is that far-fetched? You tell me, HA.

What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

My grandpa got me a diamond initial pendant that I wear on my necklace every day. My grandma is usually the one to do the gift-giving, and he tags along and doesn’t even know what he got us half the time, as men usually do. But he really wanted to make sure that I knew it was just from him and that he picked it out himself. I never take it off, and it means way too much to me. He is my favorite person.

What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

I truly think these types of choices mold your entire life and put you on different paths without even knowing it, and you can't change that. So, instead, I digress and accept things are the way they are supposed to be, and that's calming enough. So, I say nothing!

What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Doing things that I don’t value and don’t think will mean anything to me or the people I love.

What do you believe is your most attractive quality?

I love my smile. Not only because I usually get many compliments on it but because smiling is fun and something I do a lot of; it speaks volumes without speaking at all.

What/who do you want to be when you grow up?

A good mom to my future kids. I think about this way too much for a girl in her early 20s and always have. It’s something I felt like I was put on this earth to do and hope I am blessed enough to have as many kids as I can handle!

BONUS: Tell me something good.

Life is so fun, beautiful, loving, and freeing; you just have to believe it and feel it. You have the time; everyone deserves that.