Age: 28
Relationship Status: 1 week single (was in a 2-year relationship)
Occupation: Buyer
Astrological Sign: Virgo Rising, Taurus Moon, Gemini Sun
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
Practicing gratitude. I recount all that I’m grateful for, in the car on my way to work, or while I’m showering. Without this, I tend to consume myself with my problems and lose sight of how far I’ve come and how blessed I truly am.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
If you had asked me this a week ago, it probably would have been my relationship. But now, my happiness feels pretty much non-existent. That said, I know that my happiness should not be dependent on anybody or anything but myself. So, this is definitely a work in progress.
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
I wish I were less reliant on and attached to what was. I find it hard to detach from the idea of how I thought my life was going to/should go. I wish I didn’t over-romanticize what was and instead romanticized the present moment because I am exactly where I am meant to be.
When do you question yourself?
I question myself when I feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
Also, question myself when I’m trying REALLY hard to look good. I will literally send my friends 10 outfit options for a rather unimportant event, but why am I questioning it so much?!
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
Five years ago, after going to my first therapy session and discovering that I struggled with low self-esteem, I got the brilliant idea of writing positive affirmations on my mirror and reading them to myself every morning. It has completely helped re-wire the recurring negative thought patterns I was having. I continued going to therapy, and about 3 years later, I decided to write a journal entry to my inner child for every year of my life (Ex: dear 17-year-old me) and highlighted any major event or feeling I felt at that age, and offered unwavering love, understanding and compassion to that version of myself. This exercise was no simple task, but it completely changed how I perceive myself and relate to and listen to my inner child. I finally allowed my inner child to feel heard and seen.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
I have begun forgiving myself for what my younger self did in exchange for “love” and the shame that went along with that.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
I have forgiven my father. As a baby-boomer immigrant who left a war-torn country, I now know that he did the best with what he knew. He did not have a father figure, and I now understand that his emotional absence was just a byproduct of his own upbringing. Despite his emotional absence, he has sacrificed day and night (working 70-hour work weeks, still to this day!!) to offer my siblings and me the life he never got to have.
How do you ground/center yourself?
Walks in nature help me get back to myself.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
My mom. She’s my best friend; I tell her everything! But aside from my mama, spinning helps me disconnect and release all the stress and tension I’m holding on to. Sometimes, the release is so intense that it brings tears to my eyes.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
Yes!! The week leading up to my birthday this past June, I was in New York for work. I was carrying out my long-term goals and felt like all my hard work had finally paid off. I was only in New York for one day, and a video of me walking down the street happened to go viral (without me knowing). A lot of other wonderful things were happening to me that week too. That whole week, I felt so magnetic and in an almost euphoric state.
It was a very foreign feeling to me; it almost felt too good to be true.
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
A lot of things, but since this one is the one fresh in my mind… I fundamentally disagree with anybody (but specifically parents) telling their adult children how to live their lives. I fundamentally disagree with parents getting overly involved in their adult children’s romantic lives to the point where the child cannot make their own decisions. Can you tell this is a trigger for me?
What is something you know for sure?
God/the universe or whatever you resonate with will not put things you cannot handle in your path. Every challenge you go through brings you closer to what is destined for you. In the moment, it may feel impossible, but we can only understand once we are out of the situation, no longer resisting what is. God will always bring me better!
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
1. Commitment (not only to each other but to the relationship)
2. Trust/Loyalty – this one goes without saying
3. Unwavering love and respect towards each other
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
I feel most comfortable in my own skin when I’m home alone, singing (way too loud and off-key) while I cook myself dinner and enjoy my own company without a care in the world.
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
I can’t think of any specific instance, but I am always in awe of women who do it all and look good while doing it! Women who are entrepreneurs while simultaneously being mothers and wives and taking great care of themselves emotionally and physically—that is my dream!
To be honest, I’m in awe of all women and all that we can accomplish and offer to the world.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
My parents recently gifted me a trip to Hawaii as a means to disconnect from everything after an incredibly stressful summer. This answer was hard for me to think of, not because I don’t think it’s the best gift, but because this vacation was meant to cause me less stress and instead, resulted in a breakup within an hour of me stepping off the plane. It was definitely bittersweet, and I guess now it really was the best gift I’ve received since it has led to a new chapter in my life.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
Nothing, I try not to live my life that way. My high school yearbook quote was, “20 years from now you’ll regret the things you didn’t do; over the things you did do.” So, I don’t think I’ve ever turned something down and regretted it.
“NO RAGRETS” (lol!).
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
I will always say HECK NO to the bare minimum. I will say no to things that do not serve me, or that are in my best interest. Whether that is at work, in relationships, friendships, etc. I will not make myself and my dreams smaller to please someone else or to make things easier in the short term. Anything that is easier in the short term will inevitably be way more difficult in the long run.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
My heart. When I love someone, my intentions are so pure, and I give my all. Despite everything I have been through, my heart will never harden.
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy, loved, and fulfilled.
I’m already everything else I’ve always dreamed of being.
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