Age: 28
Relationship Status: Recently Married
Occupation: Therapist (Social Worker)
Income: 74K
Astrological Sign: Leo
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
I have my morning coffee, breakfast, and NYT games. I even have a specific order in which I always complete the games (RIP Vertex).
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
Two things: 1. Whether or not those around me are happy, and 2. If I am fed.
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
My phone—ughhh. I reach for it far more often than I would like. I am grateful to have it to connect with my loved ones who are spread across the country, but I too often use it as a tool of distraction and mindlessness and just feel blah after spending too much time on it.
When do you question yourself?
At work, every day. I value my job and my clients, and deep down, I believe I am in the right profession, but it is a daily struggle not to get swept away by imposter syndrome. I have so much to learn, but I rarely give myself enough credit for all I have learned and proven thus far, which leaves me wondering if I am a “good enough” therapist.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
Really just being reminded of my self-worth by those around me. Sometimes, I will explicitly ask for reminders of my worth. Of course, I would love to reach a point where it primarily comes from myself, but I am not quite there yet.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
Something I would like to forgive myself for or come to terms with is that I am not terribly ambitious. I don’t strive to be the best at everything I do, and I am content with being “good enough” in all domains of my life. I have people around me who are much more driven, have accomplished some awesome things, and continue to strive for greatness. I am so proud of them, but that is not necessarily me, and I want to be okay with that. It feels weird to write this out because I feel like I am admitting some fatal flaw.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
I am a very forgiving person, sometimes to a fault, but I think the people I have worked and continue to work hard to forgive are my parents. I had a fortunate childhood, and I never doubted that my parents loved me. However, they made their own mistakes with one another, as individuals and as parents, resulting in pain and mistrust. I know they are only human, and all they have done for me far outweighs any mistakes, so I allow myself to give them grace.
How do you ground/center yourself?
Walking!! It sounds so cliche, but being outside and moving my body are two rare things that make me feel truly grounded, so combining them is a recipe for a nice, regulated gal.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
Knowing I was and am never alone. I am incredibly blessed to have loved ones in my life who I know would be there to support me in an instant, as I would do for them. I recognize how lucky I am to have these relationships in my life and believe everyone deserves to experience feeling held and cared for by those around them.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
Being around my friends on a summer evening, chatting and laughing and not caring about anything but the people I am with and what I am doing at that moment. Also, anytime I am outside, moving my body in some way (walking, running, biking, hiking).
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
Productivity must precede rest and define worth. I believe this to my core, and I have to consistently fight with the messages I receive around me (largely just societal messages, not from any one person in particular) that place productivity and tangible output on a pedestal.
What is something you know for sure? Perhaps an unexpected direction to take this response in, but I know for sure that dogs are the best gifts we have received as humans. They are incredibly healing, so I would love to become more familiar with animal-assisted therapy in the future.
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
Humor
Companionship
Respect
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
When I put on a killer outfit or the polar opposite - when I am in my coziest matching PJs.
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
One of my best friends. She has supported her mother, who was diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer, while she is also working toward her PhD nearly 800 miles from home. She is smart, resilient, and despite all she has gone through, so damn funny and such a bright light in my life.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
When my partner’s mom passed away, my friends (who all live in different cities than I do) all chipped in and got us an Uber Eats gift card. I know it sounds insignificant, but it showed such genuine care.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
I can’t think of one thing in particular, I just wish I said ‘yes’ in general more frequently growing up. I was an incredibly anxious child and avoidance was my primary strategy for managing it (FYI, this does not work). This meant I missed out on plenty of opportunities that could have been fun and fulfilling.
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
Staying up super late. I cherish my sleep. It’s a running joke with my friends and family, but I don’t care. I will choose sleep over staying out 95% of the time (okay, so maybe I won’t always say no).
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
Externally, my legs. They are long and strong and have taken me on some pretty awesome journeys. Internally, I want to say my wit. Just for fun, I asked my husband his thoughts, and he said, “The way you want to lift other people up,” so I’ll say that, too :)
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
Oh man. I vacillated on how I wanted to answer this question, but I keep circling back to a mom. I have always wanted to be a mom, but as I have gotten older, I have become much more fearful about bringing a child into the world we currently live in (politically, environmentally, economically, etc.). I am incredibly maternal, my baby fever is out of control, and my partner would make an incredible dad and co-parent. I think it is less of a matter of if and more of a matter of when.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
After never learning how to ride a bike (see question regarding what I wish I had said ‘yes’ to above), my husband taught me how to ride a road bike for our minimoon and I enjoyed it so much that I picked up mountain biking so I could share that hobby with him. I’m super proud of myself for this!
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