Age: 25
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Software Engineer + Founder
Income: $480,000
Astrological Sign: Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Gemini Rising
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
Writing my to-do list and finalizing my calendar for the next day every night. Each day is so different, so being able to loosely map things out a little ahead of time has been a game changer for me. It prepares me and helps me gauge how busy/free I’ll be that day.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
Solitude and keeping in touch with my friends. My friends are some of the best people I have in my life. They make me laugh, they support me when I cry, but most importantly, they accept me fully as I am. For that, I am forever grateful.
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
Weed. I’ve been sober for two months, but the urge to buy some is still strong. I’m a high-energy person and in X-Games mode all the time, so edibles have helped me slow down for the past couple of years, and living in a city where marijuana is accessible has enabled my usage. In my early twenties, I also used weed to mask a lot of trauma I carried within myself. Therapy and self-reflection healed that part of me, but I never let go of my hedonistic tendencies until recently. My 26th birthday is coming soon, though, so my present to myself is to stay sober and re-explore myself in this phase of my life.
When do you question yourself?
Funny enough, I don’t really question myself anymore. I often questioned myself in my teens and early twenties, but my overthinking/questioning has been minimal for the past year. I fall into action with my eyes wide shut, not worrying too much about the outcome. No matter how much I fuck up in life, I’ll always have more fucking up to do, so I let mistakes happen. It’s part of the human experience and, frankly, inevitable.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
Seeing that people believe in me, even when they don’t totally know me. I’ve been given opportunities at work that I wasn’t experienced enough for. Though my managers and leadership were aware of this at the time, they believed in me. With the startup I’ve founded, I’ve interviewed people who have also believed in the ideas I have only after a mere conversation. It’s surprising but encouraging. Through these experiences, I’ve realized I can take up space and build the things I envision.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
Being dishonest with myself and others. It’s difficult to deal with dishonesty sometimes because we only want the best for ourselves, and being dishonest can protect us from shame, guilt, failure, etc. However, I learned in my early twenties that dishonesty compounds itself, and ultimately, it will break you. The truth can be painful and damning, but it will always set you free.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
I forgave my dad for everything he put my family through during my childhood. He was abusive in many, many ways, and it altered my life forever. It gave me trauma that I still deal with to this day. I wouldn’t say I’m on the best terms with my dad, but I can now talk with him and ask him for help. Also, now that I’m an adult with autonomy, I think he realizes that he can’t behave poorly if he wants to stay in my life.
How do you ground/center yourself?
I nourish my creative side, and I partake in community activism. Painting, writing, etc., helps me learn about the world and makes my voice heard. On the other hand, I work closely with community groups that help people fight horrible landlords and slumlords. I ensure these folks have their rights upheld and their voices heard. Partaking in these activities always reminds me that we are just as complex and as basic as the people around us.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
Besides weed in certain situations, I would say my cats. I got them in my early twenties; they are the first pets I’ve ever had. They remind me of what love looks like and comfort me in the darkest times. When I was in a terrible slump, the only reason I would get out of bed was to feed them, and that would help kickstart my day—that alone was powerful.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
I feel like the best version of myself now more than ever because I became what the younger version of me always wanted to be. I’m at peace.
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
The 21st century’s version of heterosexual love. I hate all the dating advice online, all the high-value man/woman rhetoric, the 50/50 conundrum, black cat/golden retriever, green line test, sprinkle sprinkle, etc. Our society has a really warped view of love and its relation to romantic relationships, and I feel it in the romantic relationships I’ve been in with men. Because of this, I fear I will never find the romantic love I seek in this lifetime.
What is something you know for sure?
In this lifetime, the person I know the most is myself, the person I rely on the most is myself, and most importantly, the person I love the most is myself.
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
I agree with Bell Hook’s philosophy on love so there are seven for me:
1. Respect
2. Care
3. Honesty and open communication
4. Affection
5. Recognition
6. Trust
7. Commitment
(I put my top three on top in case that’s all that can be included)
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
When I’m telling a good joke. That is my zen. That is when I feel amazing. I’ve always used humor as a coping mechanism, and it’s become one of my superpowers.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
One of the best things I’ve received is a card one of my close friends gave me on my 22nd birthday. It was one of the most touching things I’d read, and it made me feel seen and appreciated. I still have it with me and keep it.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
Nothing. On the contrary, I wish there were more things I had said ‘no’ to in my past. It would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
Showing up for people who don’t show up for me. I will not be attending your events or inviting you to events if you never put time or effort into having a relationship with me. Period.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
My charisma. I get energy from being around people, and that energy translates to a version of me that can be felt across the room. It’s the reason I’ve been given certain opportunities and why I’ve succeeded in them.
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
I can only ever be myself :)
BONUS: Tell me something good.
You have more agency in this lifetime than you may think. As you pass through this Earth, make sure you live the life you want to live.
Comments