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#260. compassion, crying a lot & combining therapy with faith

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 29

Relationship Status: Married

Occupation: Speech-Language Pathologist

Income: $95,000

Astrological Sign: Aries

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

Prayer really helps center my heart and mind on what truly matters. I can be quite anxious, and through prayer, I find peace and clarity to face whatever the day may bring—it’s a lifeline that keeps me grounded.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

A balanced lifestyle. I recently became a mum, which has truly been the most beautiful, soul-feeding experience but has also come with its challenges. There have been SO many moments where I feel like I have lost a part of myself. For me, balance means making time for things that remind me of who I am outside of being a mum – whether it’s spending time with friends, pursuing my interests, or just enjoying alone time. When I create room for those things, I feel happier, and in turn, I can show up not only for myself but also for my family.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

I’ve struggled with the validation of others, but I’m actively working on building my confidence. I’m learning to trust my feelings and be proud of myself without needing external approval.


When do you question yourself?

All the time! I’m always questioning whether I’m good enough or doing enough—a good enough wife, a good enough mother, good enough at my job. I have to remind myself that it’s okay not always to have the answers and to focus on progress rather than perfection.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

My husband has played a huge role in helping me see my own self-worth and taught me that I don’t need to live for anyone else’s approval. He’s much more cutthroat and straightforward than I am when it comes to dealing with situations, and he doesn’t waste time worrying about other people’s opinions. It’s been a big mindset shift, but I’m so grateful for his perspective.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

The breakdown of past friendships. I used to feel guilty about how things ended, but I’ve realized that sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay. Looking back now, those friendships weren’t serving me anymore, and letting go of them has allowed for healthier, more fulfilling connections.


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

I’ve forgiven my brother for not always considering my emotions or putting me first when I needed him the most. While there was never any bad intention or malice behind some of my actions, I couldn’t help but feel neglected at times, which created a big void and sense of emptiness in my life. As I’ve become older, I’ve come to understand that he has had his own struggles to deal with. Forgiving him has helped me heal and let go of any resentment toward him, which has thankfully brought us closer as adults.


How do you ground/center yourself?

The first thing I do when I wake up is practice gratitude. I often reflect on three things I’m grateful for each day, small or big, to remind myself how blessed I am. I do this before the world’s demands and distractions take over (AKA before I check my phone) because it really helps me to appreciate what I have, which sets a positive tone for the rest of the day.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

It has honestly been a combination of both therapy and my faith. Therapy has provided me with the tools to process my emotions, understand my thoughts, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. My faith, on the other hand, has been my anchor. It’s given me hope and the belief that something greater than myself can guide me through difficult times that I don’t always have control over.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

I can’t pinpoint a specific moment in time when I felt like the best version of myself because different stages of my life have brought out the best in me, whether through personal milestones, significant achievements in my line of work, or simply the way I interact with others.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That life stops when you start a family. You don’t have to put your personal growth on hold. Of course, your priorities shift - there is no doubt about that - but there are ways of integrating your goals with the joy and responsibilities of family life. Life doesn’t stop; it evolves.  


What is something you know for sure?

Nothing lasts forever, and almost every phase of life is temporary. Depending on your phase, one day, you’ll look back and either miss it or be proud of yourself for overcoming it.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1. Open, honest, and RESPECTFUL communication

  2. Attraction beyond physical appearance (appreciate your significant other’s mind – the way they think, their passions, their intellect, etc.)

  3. Aligned goals and shared values (whether it’s regarding family, finances, lifestyle, etc.)


When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

During sex. My husband has created a safe and trusting space where I can be my true self, and that freedom allows me to embrace my body and my desires without fear or insecurity, which is completely empowering.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

My mother. All the time. She has a way of navigating through life with such grace. I’ve watched her face challenges head-on, sacrificing so much for our family without ever complaining. I admire her ability to balance so much while still being everyone’s support person. I could go on and on about why I am in constant awe of her. I am the person I am today because of her.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

A kindle. I LOVE to read and escape into different worlds, especially when I’m feeling stressed. It took me a while to shift from paperbacks to e-books, but I’m so glad I made the change.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

Living abroad. I have always wanted to completely immerse myself in another culture and see the world from a different perspective, and sometimes, when I look back on my early 20s, I wish I had taken the leap. While I have been able to do that on a micro level through travel, I think it would have been a window of opportunity to discover more about myself and gain a sense of independence in ways that staying in my comfort zone didn’t allow. Although I appreciate the path I took, it’s something I’ll always wonder about.


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

I no longer want to appease others and people-please. I’m learning to say “no” when I need to and am starting to prioritize my needs and boundaries. Protecting my peace and well-being is more important than constantly trying to meet the expectations of others.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality?  

My softness and my heart. I’m an extremely empathetic person. I cry A LOT because I care so deeply about others, and I hate to see people in pain or hardship. Some may see this as a weakness, but I believe it’s my best quality.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

Someone who is kind and strong. I want to show my children how to navigate life with compassion and resilience, and I want them to understand that both can coexist and are equally important. 


BONUS: Tell me something good.

You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it!!

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