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#259. pink puas, caring deeply & complicated relationships

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 21

Relationship Status: in a complicated relationship

Occupation: currently waitress/ impending Flight Attendant

Income: $26k

Astrological Sign: Scorpio

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

I would say my morning coffee! It truly gets me out of bed and going with my day, and my nighttime skincare is a must.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

The state of my relationship, unfortunately. I’m trying so hard to be the main character of my life again, but my feelings are always reliant on how someone else is treating me at the moment, that is my SO. Thank you, anxious attachment! I’m so sorry if anyone else relates to this. Being the person I am, the smallest change of tone or attitude I notice will ruin my whole day if it is not positive.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Just other people in general. I know I’m a strong woman, but when shit hits the fan, I feel like I need everybody else’s opinions/comfort, and I don’t want to rely on that, especially because you won’t always hear what you want to hear or have someone in your corner right away.


When do you question yourself?

I sometimes question whether I'm making the right decision. When I feel an energy shift and it’s time to make a change, I’m always hesitant about picking the A or B option.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

Honestly, that I’m the shit! I know I have very good energy and a strong presence in people’s lives, and anyone in my circle would say the same. I care deeply about everyone, and that makes me feel really good about myself. There aren’t many people in the world like that.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

I have forgiven myself for not always doing what’s right and best for me. I’m still learning in this life, and I’m going to make mistakes. That’s all a part of my journey!


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

I’ve forgiven my ex-boyfriend (current boyfriend). Complicated I told you (haha). for treating me like dirt in the past. We have definitely had our ups and downs and have been going through some motions for the past three years. We’re both young-ish and trying to figure out life. That being said, I’ve given him the grace that he’s also not going to be perfect.


How do you ground/center yourself?

Being in my own space. I’m naturally an introvert, so when I feel overwhelmed or have had a hard day, lighting a candle and incense in bed, a dim light, and a cozy blanket is the best cure for me. Journaling is high on that list as well.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

Trusting the process of life. I love to look forward to the future and what it holds for me. What’s really helpful is reminding myself that every feeling and every situation is temporary and building me up for what is to come. That and my amazing mama. She’s been through so many things that I’m encountering and is a good one to go to. Your 20s are HARD!


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

There have been times when I’ve felt great, but there’s always been a low associated with it. I truly believe this coming stage of my life is where I’m going to bloom into that best version. I’m excited!


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That woman should be reproducing no matter what. I’m having a hard time with that one lately. I know it is in my blood to be a mother, and it’s something I want more than anything, but in this time of the world, is that really what a lot of us should be doing? The future of our planet is scary. I can’t decide if it’s selfish to have kids. Battling with that also being a dream of mine.


What is something you know for sure?

I know for sure that everything happens for a reason and that we all have a path written for us. Time and time again, that has been proven to me.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

1.      Respect

2.      Trust

3.      Being loved in my love language, vice versa

 

When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

Probably when I love my outfit, have a good hair day, and have a nice tan, but on the contrary, when I’m in my silk robe, fresh skin is also top-tier.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

Living in absolute paradise, I am in awe every single day of my home. A simple sunset/the ocean. Don’t get me started on all of the beautiful flowers that leave me in awe! (Pink Pua’s are my fav).


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

I consider letters to be the best gifts I receive. I often read back on them, and it brings me comfort. Those will last forever.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

I wish I said yes to a few different opportunities to live in some great places! However, that’s not too much of a regret of mine, knowing  that will be in the near future for me!


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

I will always say no to anything that does not leave me with ease. I really need to work on my boundaries. This is a tough one for me, but I know in my bones that the word “ no” needs to come out of my mouth more often.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality?  

My ability to love, I go crazy for animals and children, and I think that’s the purest form. I used to think caring so deeply was a bad thing, and now I believe it’s my best quality. That and my smile.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

Happy! I’m currently in the process of obtaining my dream job as a flight attendant. It’s all coming together for me, and I know it’s only going to get better after that. Some could say my dream life is beginning.

I hope to end in my happiest form : )


BONUS: Tell me something good.

It gets better. It always does. Life doesn’t have to be such a hard thing!

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