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#254. capitalism, engaging with community & being cool enough




Age: 28

Relationship Status:  Single

Occupation:  HR Program Specialist

Income: $60k

Astrological Sign: Cancer - but I’m not really into astrology.

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

Skincare(!), taking my vitamins, moisturizing my hair, and immediately playing whatever song popped into my head that morning as soon as I get into the car.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

My community of friends and getting into my dream school! I moved back to my hometown recently and didn’t realize how much I needed familiar faces around me to not be so in my head. I also finally applied to grad school to switch careers and finally do something I love. I'm waiting to hear back from schools now.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Money. I took a lower paying job in an effort to have an easier work/life/school balance. At the same time, I wish I took a higher paying one to better help me save for when I can’t work in grad school. I know I could make more, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself.


When do you question yourself?

When I’m making a big choice that could change how others perceive me. Whether it’s taking a job, wearing a risky outfit, or my choice of going back to school and starting over. I wonder if I’m qualified enough, cool enough, or stable enough. I usually just say ,“f*** it” to get past my own negativity.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

The women around me. Whether I’m taking inspiration from the troubles they’ve gone through or their achievements, I’m reminded that I’m worthy of a trusting partner, loving myself, and not settling for mediocrity. 


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

I don’t think forgiveness is a word I’ve ever said to myself. I’ve accepted that I’ve made choices that didn’t put me in the best positions and I’m appreciative of the learned experiences that came from it. I don’t need to forgive myself; I just need to be kind. 


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

Probably the ways my mom tried to protect me as a kid. I’m her only daughter and being a single parent on a fixed income, she did everything she could to avoid me being in the same situation. This meant that she was overbearing at times and didn’t try to see my side of things like dating, going out with friends, and choosing schools. I guess it’s typical pre-teen/teenage things, but if you can’t address them in early adulthood, it can definitely stifle the relationship.


How do you ground/center yourself?

When I’m really flustered, I take a silent hike through a new trail. The sounds of nature quiet and slow my thoughts, and I’m able to just focus on my body and the beauty of life (nature) around me. When I can’t do that, I light a candle at home, turn on my favorite evening playlist, and just sit on the floor or lay like a starfish on my bed.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

Having faith in my own resourcefulness and commitment to progress. I ended a relationship last year and lost my job soon after and it sent me into an invisible spiral. I told myself, “If I can’t find happiness here, I won’t be able to find it anywhere”, and that got me up and planning.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

Yes! When I’m actively engaged in my community and helping people in the healthcare setting. This year I became a member of a non-profit and I started interning at a children’s hospital in the rehab unit. One day I paused and realized, this feels amazing. This is what I want to do, and I need to do it more often. I’m on that high every time I host an event with a non-profit, am in a medical setting, or when I’m answering my family’s health-related questions.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

Revoking or denying a person’s right to safe and affordable healthcare. Capitalism. Paying for public school lunch. Most forms of insurance that you pay regular fees for. Too much trouble all around.


What is something you know for sure?

I’m going to be a Doctor of Occupational Therapy. I’m going to move to my dream city. I’m going to make it out alright.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1.  Zero tolerance for derogatory language towards women.

  2.  Must be an ally to social justice efforts.

  3.  Must have an appreciation for education, culture, and the arts.


When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

When I’m crying, laughing with my friends.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

My little brother’s mom. She’s the most educated woman I know; incredibly smart and stylish, has the best taste in home decor, and navigates life so gracefully. She’s been a big support in my pursuit of this degree. I’m always refreshed when I talk to her.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

I’m not sure. I’m grateful for all the things I’ve been given but can’t say I’ve received anything that’s drawn a big emotional response. 


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

I do think about how different my life would be had I gone to a different college for undergrad. I got into one of my dream schools but went to another because they offered a full ride. I ended up hating it there and finished school in my hometown. Would I have already been the therapist I dreamed of had I stayed there? 


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Giving someone a shot if there isn’t immediate attraction. It’s not fair to myself to not date someone I see and not swoon over them.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality? 

I would say my resourcefulness. I enjoy learning and helping people, so I try to offer what I can when possible! My best friend says I have too many ‘fun facts’ though lol.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

An OT who finds fun ways to work out and participate in the arts regularly, has 1-2 dogs, a cozy apartment full of art, and travels more often than you would think.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

I just passed my 3-year anniversary of my locs! This is the longest I’ve committed to a hairstyle since being someone who constantly shaved their head and changed looks. It’s been a long journey of loving my natural texture and finding beauty in the less accepted, but I love my hair and I love myself with it! Can’t wait until they reach my lower back!

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