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#253. anxiety, caring deeply & people changing

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 25

Relationship Status: In a relationship 🤍

Occupation: Executive Assistant          

Income: 75k

Astrological Sign: Taurus Sun, Libra Moon, Taurus Rising

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

My morning and nightly skin routines. They are quite extensive, but they make me happy.

 

What is your current happiness most dependent on?

My body (unfortunately). I’ve dealt with my weight fluctuating most of my life, and if I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror, I feel like my whole world is falling apart. I know that’s unhealthy, and I’m working on it, but being in shape has always made me feel so much happier. I’ve worked hard this past year to be the shape I am now, and it truly makes me feel so much better.

 

What do you wish you were less reliant on?

My relationships with people. I am not good at spending a lot of time alone. I can be quite needy, and I’m sure that gets annoying.

 

When do you question yourself?

God, all the time. I am an anxious person, so I overthink most things I do, whether I’m doing well at work, whether I’m doing enough in my relationships, or whether I'm pushing myself to my full potential. 

 

What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

I know that I am learning and growing to become better every day. The decisions I’ve made in the past don’t define me and happened for a reason. Nothing is stopping me from changing something I am unhappy with as long as I put in the effort.

 

What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

My anxiety ruining my college experience. I ended up dropping out, but all 2 ½ years feel like a blur. I was so anxious and insecure that I couldn't be myself at all. I know now that it didn’t matter that much, and it has led me to the life I have today.

 

What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

How difficult my boyfriend was at a point in our relationship. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was neglecting his mental health, and it affected us a lot. I saw so much potential for us and couldn’t figure out why he was so cold at times and would try to push me away. Through therapy and communication, we learned so much and grew into the most amazing, loving couple I could ever imagine. Mental health is so important and affects so much of your life.

 

How do you ground/center yourself?

Deep breaths. It’s so simple, but it really helps.

 

What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

My boyfriend has been the most supportive, loving, and trustworthy person I’ve ever had in my life. He is such a rock in difficult times, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.  


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

I currently do. I am very happy with my life, relationship, job, and myself. I have grown so much over the past 2 years that I feel like a different person. I feel like the person I’ve strived for a long time, and I am very happy.

 

What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That being in an office is necessary. It is so much easier and cost-effective to work from home. You get just as much work done, and even when you are in the office, 98% of meetings are online anyway. There is no reason to be in an office if you just work on a computer all day.

 

What is something you know for sure?

That if someone really loves you and wants to make a relationship work, they will change whatever is hurting you. People can and will change, but they have to want to.

 

What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1. Communication

  2. Trust

  3. Affection

 

When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

During/After a Pilates class. I feel so strong and accomplished. My brain shuts off during that time and it's so peaceful like nothing else matters beside that hour.

 

Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

I’m in awe of a lot of people on social media even if it’s fake. Everyone makes it look like their life is so much fun and put together.

 

What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

My Dior saddle bag. It was the first gift I ever received from my boyfriend on our first Christmas together. It will forever be my favorite gift in the world. I was so surprised when I opened it. It’s black leather with all black hardware, she’s so gorgeous. I have never been spoiled like that in a relationship and in my last relationship I was criticized so much for liking material things. I love that we bond over our interest in fashion and liking for nicer quality things.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

I don’t think there’s anything I wish I said yes to in the past. I truly believe every decision in my life has led me to where I am today, and I wouldn’t change that. 

 

What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Road trips over 3-4 hours. I tend to get car sick easily and it's just not worth it. Anything over 3-4 hours I’d rather spend the money and take a plane or find a different way to get there – it just feels better.

 

What do you believe is your most attractive quality? 

How much I care. It can be a positive and a negative thing at times, but I think it allows me to have such a deep connection with people and is something I’ll forever love about myself.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

A mom. Specifically, a stay at home mom. I can’t wait to grow my little family, but I want to be able to watch them grow and not be overwhelmed so I can enjoy that phase of life.

 

BONUS: Tell me something good.

Everything really does happen for a reason :)

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