
Age: 28
Relationship Status: In a relationship
Occupation: Supervisor for a special needs program
Income: $58,000
Astrological Sign: Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon, and Capricorn Rising
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
I hate to admit this, but I check my emails/messages and make sure everything is clean and in its place. My day can only be successful if there is order and all is ready to be utilized, a clean slate if you will. It’s just how my brain works. It’s a good habit that is also a curse. I hope to change that someday.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
My children and their physical/emotional well-being. Although no parent is perfect, and certainly not I, we are trying to break generational curses/trauma over here!
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
Sadly, alcohol. I wish I did not use it as a crutch to decompress quickly at the end of the day. We’re working on it.
When do you question yourself?
All the time, I am my biggest critic. It’s one of the first things I think of when I wake up, like, “Am I going to be productive today or am I going to slack off?” And I’m not even truly slacking off; it’s just that I didn’t complete one extra thing on my list. I hate that little voice.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
I am currently a full-time pre-nursing student and got straight A’s last semester. I’ve never achieved that, even in grade school. I have always learned a little differently. I do have a neurological disorder called Synesthesia (which interfered with math), but I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18. School was always a challenge, so getting those grades made me feel like I was on top of the world. I was a little nicer to myself for once—just a little, (haha).
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
I was groomed by my ex-husband. I was 17, and he was 24. Of course, I would never take back having my children, but had I not fallen for his predatory behavior, I would have led a very different life. The trauma he caused me was never something I deserved, and 7 years later, I am still healing. That’s longer than we were together. I still have not forgiven him at my core. I was just a girl, and I had good intentions. I used to be hard on myself for not seeing through him. I didn’t know any better, but he did, so that’s on him, not me. I forgive me.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
My biological parents struggled with substance abuse. They did not have the means to raise me, but I kind of knew them growing up. My mom is involved and living a beautiful sober life; she truly is an inspiration. She knows I forgive her. My dad is somewhere in Mexico if he is still alive (undocumented). I hope that wherever he is, he knows I forgive and love him. I forgive them both for not knowing how to cope with their trauma; I never actually blamed them; they did their best.
How do you ground/center yourself?
I love to drive. I live on the West Coast, so I cruise the 101 and listen to oldies to clear my head. It’s a spiritual experience!
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
I don’t know; I’ve been in survival mode for many years. I want to say that the phrase “This will pass; it is temporary” has helped me in my darkest times—I kind of deal with my emotions alone. I do have a supportive partner, but I try not to lean on him for his own mental health. I know that isn’t very healthy. I just assume I am “too much.” I was made to believe I was a burden as a child/teen; I haven’t let go of that feeling yet.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
The best version of me existed at 18; I had just discovered I had a neurological condition that was more so a gift than a disorder, and it helped me tap into my highest self. My spiritual journey began at that age. I was in tune and connected to the universe more than ever. I got pregnant a year later at 19, and that was still a beautiful time; I was more woman than ever. Unfortunately, PPD took that light. I have seen glimmers here and there, but she is still in me. We are working together on a rebirth.
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
That anyone thinks they have a right to meddle with a woman’s reproductive choices other than the woman herself.
What is something you know for sure?
The US border policies towards Mexico are so incredibly backward and inhumane.
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
1. They have to make me laugh.
2. They have to have a love for music.
3. They have to have a good heart behind closed doors.
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
When I go to sleep…just kidding. I haven’t felt comfortable in a long time. I am short and overweight, yet another thing we’re working on!
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
One of my best friends entered my life not too long ago, but since then, her presence has been a gift. She has been dealt such tough cards, but she continues to be a ray of sunshine. Somehow, her energy is undefeated. I am honored to call her my friend.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
My boyfriend named a star after me in the Virgo constellation.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
My cousin is the Executive Director of Amazon Watch, and I traveled to San Francisco to attend a luncheon for the organization. I could have volunteered and gotten my foot in the door to travel the world as an activist, but I chickened out and ended up settling down shortly after.
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
The company of people who suck the energy out of me. As a Virgo, I embody therapist roles. I had a breakdown. No “therapist” friend showed up for me. Never again.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
I’ve been told my smile and humor.
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
Right now, I want to be a PMHNP.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
There is no finish line for evolving. It is never too late to reinvent yourself. It is quite literally our job to experience and create over and over until we return home, wherever that is.
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