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#25. valuing happiness, being by the water & going to therapy

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 35

Relationship Status: Married

Occupation: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Income: It varies, I’m a psychotherapist in a solo private practice that I own

Astrological Sign: Cancer sun, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising– if anyone can tell me more about what my moon and rising mean about me/if I have a chaotic big 3 I’d love to know!

 

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Usually, my dog is laying on me, so I pet him and get some snuggles in. Waking up with a dog is THE BEST...10/10 recommend.

 

Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?

I’m lucky to feel genuine fulfillment often through the work that I get to do with my clients. I do a lot of long-term therapy, and it’s really cool to see something someone told me they wanted years ago come to fruition for them. I’ve had clients experience miscarriage and then go on to have children, struggle in their careers and make the decision to go back to school, struggle with eating disorders and then recover, overcome addiction, and so many other things. It’s an honor to be part of the process of their life unfolding. I also feel fulfilled in my day-to-day life often through not worrying so much about what others think about my choices. If something feels right for me, I do it. It’s pretty life changing.

 

What is your most repetitive, negative thought?

In complete contrast to the end of my answer to the last question, it’s usually that people are upset with me or that I’ll be abandoned by the people that I love. Thanks childhood trauma!

 

What is your most repetitive, positive thought?

That I’m a good person, living the life I’m supposed to be living, and that I created this for myself.

 

What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?

That absolutely none of us have any idea what we’re doing. I remember realizing that in my late 20’s and it blew my mind wide open.

 

What are three things you want to put every woman onto?

  1. Therapy. Just go. Even if you think you don’t have any reason to, just try it.

  2. Amazing Grace body lotion...smells so good.

  3. Fearlessly pursuing your own happiness.

 

Rank the following from most to least important:

money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).

Love, laughter, food, sex, money. Hot take, I know.

 

How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?

They’ve changed a lot. I’m much closer to one parent than the other as I was tasked with a lot more responsibility than I should have as a child. I don’t think I’d ever go no-contact, but having some distance has been good for me personally.

 

When do you feel most like yourself?

When I’m by the ocean or on the water. I’m a Cancer through and through!

 

How do you feel about falling in love?

I absolutely love love. It’s always going to be risky to be as vulnerable as you have to be to fall in love, but some people are worth the risk. It’s important to develop a good sense of who is worth it and who isn’t without being too guarded.

 

What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?

Any trope that rationalizes the insanity of corporate America. It’s like a toxic relationship. I understand many people have no choice but to sacrifice their happiness and their life for the sake of their job, and at the same time, that absolutely infuriates me.

 

How often do you feel alone?

Fairly often, but I don’t mind that at all or see it as a bad thing. I’m an only child, and I’ve always valued my alone time.

 

What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?

Freedom.

 

What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?

Loss of Self.

 

What is the best decision you’ve ever made?

Dating and marrying my now husband. My life has changed so much for the better since we’ve been together and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

 

When do you feel most at ease?

Again, by the water.

 

What does having a successful life mean to you?

Having enough money to make ends meet but valuing my happiness and enjoyment over everything else. So, I guess I’m living a successful life right now!

 

How often do you think about your body?

Not as often as I used to. No matter what it looks like, it’s allowed me to have all of the experiences I’ve had in my lifetime, and I appreciate it for that.

 

When do you ask for help?

LOLLLLLLLLL what’s help?

 

What is something you feel strongly about?

Living a value-aligned life. That’s going to look different for everyone, so you have to be able to trust yourself in knowing what is truly important to you and lean into that.

 

BONUS: Tell me something good. I thought my life was over in my mid/late 20’s, but it was really just starting. It always gets better.

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