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#249. unexpected compliments, intellectual conversations & being chronically single

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 32

Relationship Status: Chronically single

Occupation: Nurse and Nurse Educator

Income: Around 85k

Astrological Sign: Scorpio

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

My walks with my dog. I adopted him about 4.5 months ago, and he’s the BEST boy. I walk with him in the mornings before work, when I get home, and on days that I’m not working, around lunchtime. The morning walks especially are my favorite. They help me center myself and prepare for the day while getting some fresh air and time with my favorite furball. He’s still really young, so he’s excited by everything, like a leaf blowing across the street. I think that helps me lighten up, too. Plus, it helps me get consistent exercise, walking at least an hour a day, and I’ve noticed I’m slowly starting to lose some stress weight.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

How well my job is going, and the health of my closest relationships.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Technology. It feels like every time I have a free minute, I pick up my phone.  I hate it, and I’m trying to set better boundaries.


When do you question yourself?

All the time, honestly. I take my roles as a nurse and educator very seriously, and I want to make sure I am telling my patients/their families/my students the absolute best information.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

I think every time someone provides me with an unexpected compliment. Examples include: “Why would you say you’re not creative? You’re creative,” and “You’re such a badass, you don’t take anyone’s shit.” (I hadn’t believed either of those things about myself until other people said something.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

Spending too much time studying when I was younger and not enough time living.


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

Not being able to give me what I need.


How do you ground/center yourself?

The walks with my dog, prayer, reading, and making crafts (mostly knitting).


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

Definitely friends and family. I worked in the hospital during Covid, and it got really dark and scary for me mentally and emotionally for a while. My friends and family were really good about checking in, helping me with practical tasks, and reminding me that I was still a person, not just a healthcare machine. That I was still THEIR person, which was so important.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

I was able to go to Italy to visit a friend last fall. I spent part of the trip with my family and then traveled to my friend’s town by myself despite not speaking a word of Italian. Once there, I had the most magical time. I can’t really explain it, but being safe and loved while flush with the thrill of a new adventure, without the stress of modern life, made me feel like the best me I’ve ever really felt.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That you have to be the perfect anything, I guess. We’re all doing the best we can at everything, and our best is better than nothing.


What is something you know for sure?

Staying connected to my faith has helped me navigate life and build a healthy community. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1. An equal partnership. The advantage of being chronically single is that I can look after myself. A partner should just be an asset.

  2. Attraction that’s not just physical. I like intellectual conversations and people that make me think or look at the world differently. If all I like about my partner is their face/body/physical self, not their brain/outlook, things will get old quickly.

  3. Has to love dogs (obviously)

 

When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

When I am with my friends, knowing that I am loved and accepted without performing, and can just be myself and have fun.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

I was able to see the David statue in Florence, Italy last fall. I’m not a huge art person, but he is BREATHTAKING. I’d go all the way to Florence to see him again.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

I’ve gotten so many good gifts over the years, but what comes to mind is when a friend got me a yarn/craft organizer just because she saw it while out shopping and thought of me. I had been wanting one, but I don’t think I had told her, and it was so heart-warming to know that I was being thought of and known so well that she knew I would like it!


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

Studying abroad in college. I could have made it work for a semester, if I had gotten a little creative with my class schedule, but I was too scared of the unknown/didn’t want to put the work in to make it happen. I will forever regret that, and try to make up for it by traveling whenever and wherever I can.


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Jobs/bosses that suck the joy out of me, and/or take away my work-life balance.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality?  

Kindness and empathy: I always want the best for people, especially when I really love them.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

Honestly, I’m still trying to figure it out! I do know that when I retire from nursing, I want to own and run a sheep farm/fiber arts studio with my best friends. We’ve been dreaming about it a lot lately, and they’re definitely on board. I also want to be a mother to human children (not just dogs), but I’m not sure what that will look like. On a more practical note, I have really loved teaching nursing students part-time, so I’m thinking of returning to school in a few years for an advanced degree to teach full-time.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

I am actively planning a cozy reading cabin weekend with my best friend and I’m very excited!

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