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#246. starting therapy, solo hiking & being someone people remember

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney

 




Age: 25

Relationship Status: Long-term relationship

Occupation: Account Executive, Marketing

Income: $80K

Astrological Sign: Pisces Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Aquarius Rising

 

What is the most important part of your daily routine?

Honestly, making my bed in the morning. There’s nothing better to me than finishing a long day and turning all my sheets and pillows into “sleep mode.” Then, getting to do it all over again, every day.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

I have never felt more out of touch with my body than I currently do. It’s undergone so much change since graduating from university, and I’m still trying to find comfort in my own skin. I hate how much it’s taken over so many parts of my life, many in ways I never expected, and I’m just trying to get back to feeling healthy again.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Love that the question is “what” and not “who”, ha. Definitely weed. It’s become a vice in the past year, but(!) I’ve started to pull back significantly.


When do you question yourself?

Socially. I see myself as an introvert, but my friends disagree. It’s hard to tell who to trust, but I think I know myself best.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

My career. I really pride myself in how much respect I’ve gotten in my field at my age just from the grind, and I try (emphasis on “try”) to take that confidence into every facet of my life. I think I’m a very capable person who can truly do anything I set my mind to. I’m just trying to be careful not to make my career my whole life/personality.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

I was a pretty terrible daughter in high school, especially to my mom. She wasn’t perfect either, but as we’ve both gotten older, we’ve both matured and also recognized that we’re both doing life for the first time together.


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

My Dad, for cheating on my Mom. It’s still fairly fresh, and she’s still struggling but has come to terms with the fact that it happened and can’t be taken back. I felt for her sake and my own – if she forgave him, I had to eventually as well.


How do you ground/center yourself?

Solo hikes/walks by myself. Clario’s Charm album has been on repeat lately.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

I’ve had a journal since I was 13. When I flip through it, it sometimes makes me sad because so much of it is so strongly negative, but it also makes me realize how therapeutic that outlet is for me. It’s also helpful to look back and see how intense something seemed at the time, even though it may not have really crossed my mind since.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

Honestly, no. I think I am on the cusp of becoming my best self, but there are still a few things I need to work through first. I still care too much about what others think.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

Road rage. Just get on with your drive.


What is something you know for sure?

I’m so grateful to have such a close relationship with my maternal grandparents, who truly unconditionally love me.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1. Someone who listens. They can rub me the wrong way but in the right way.

  2. Someone who is respectful.

  3. Someone with a good taste in music (no country, sorry).


When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

In cold weather, when I’m all bundled up, eating cozy foods, watching comforting movies, etc., I never feel less myself than when I'm in warm climates and clothing.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

I got free tickets through work to see Ariana Grande live in 2019 on her Sweetener tour. I like her music but don’t consider myself a true, active fan. Her stage presence and performance were absolutely incredible. I couldn’t believe her vocal stamina or heel height.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

This may not count, but when I was 15, my Dad got a job in the UK, and we moved overseas, where I finished high school at an international school. It completely opened my eyes to the world, bursting my bubble of what I thought the world was like, and it truly made me who I am today. Travel is such a privilege that I value a lot.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

I had an offer for what was my dream job (at the time) in Stockholm, Sweden. I didn’t take it because I didn’t want to go long-distance with my boyfriend (now of 4 years). I don’t regret it, but I always think about how different my life would have been if I had said “yes.”


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Drinking past my limits. I am just not a drinker and I hate nothing more than being nauseous or throwing up. I’ll do anything I can to avoid that feeling.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality? 

I love to explore and find new little happinesses, whether that’s new parks, restaurants, or countries. I am constantly the person who makes plans and actually does them. I love a good stay-at-home day, but generally, I just love to experience new things, especially with others.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up? 

Somebody that people remember. But not for doing anything amazing – that’s just a bonus: for being someone that people think back to as a positive memory in their life. Some of my favorite people are the ones I find myself wondering where they’re at or what they’re up to nowadays because I am genuinely curious how they’re doing and hope for the best for them.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

This year, I started going to therapy and reading more material on attachment styles. It is maybe the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and it really forced me to reframe my thoughts toward both others and myself.

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