Age: 29
Relationship Status: Single AF
Occupation: IT Project Manager
Income: $150k
Astrological Sign: Virgo (that’s as far as I go with astrology)
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
I usually go straight for my phone to check my messages. As someone who is usually in bed with lights off by 8pm, family on the other side of the world, and a demanding job with demanding clients, I wake up with the immediate need to make sure I’m not needed somewhere.
Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?
I’ve had moments of it, sure. There have been times in my life when work was everything and, if I’m honest with myself, the only thing keeping me above water. I’ve had moments of professional fulfillment. In the last few years, though, I’ve realized the most important thing to me is being surrounded by my people. The last time I felt whole in that way was before my mom died, before I broke up with my ex, and before my brothers moved away. Can you tell I’m a little stuck in the past?
What is your most repetitive, negative thought?
“You’ll end up alone.”
What is your most repetitive, positive thought?
“Bitch, you got this.”
What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?
That you’re well and truly on your own. Not necessarily in a negative way, but you’re suddenly completely responsible for yourself and your decisions. And everyone else is on their own too, paving their own path and doing their own thing. For some reason, I always imagined there’d be some guiding force pushing me along, and I guess it turns out I’m that guiding force for myself. It’s both incredibly exciting and exceptionally intimidating.
What are three things you want to put every woman onto?
Self-reflection - the best thing I’ve ever done is start thinking more about myself and what I’m doing, and less about other people.
Fitness - some type of movement, any time, every day.
Travel - getting out to see the world and meet new people is one of the most rewarding things I’ve been lucky enough to do.
Rank the following from most to least important:
money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).
Love, food, money, laughter, sex
I love love - I love to give it, and I love to receive it, and lately, I haven’t been getting much of it at all, which is probably why it’s #1 for me right now. Food drives me in a very deep and spiritual way on the daily. Money gives me a sense of security and the ability to do everything I want to do without worry. I’m not a particularly funny person so, although I love to laugh, I find happiness in other ways. I’ve gone over 2.5 years without sex before and am on a solid 7-month streak now… I’m good.
How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?
My mom died almost 3 years ago, so that’s…as big of a change as you can get, I’d say. It’s a devastating blow every single day, and still impossible to wrap my head around, never seeing or speaking to her again.
What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?
Someone recently told me that I am the kind of friend people dream of having.
How do you feel about falling in love?
It’s something I’m really looking forward to. At least, that’s what I think I feel about it... I’m afraid my inner circle would say I’m not actually actively pursuing love. Sometimes, I think I should really be channeling Ginnifer Goodwin in “He’s Just Not That Into You”.
What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?
Everything is going to be fine.
How often do you feel alone?
More regularly than I really care to admit.
What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?
Unconditional love.
What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?
Isolation.
What is the best decision you’ve ever made?
Choosing to find happiness within myself rather than through other people.
When do you feel most at ease?
Whenever I’m with my brothers. I think they’re the only people with whom I’m genuinely not afraid to be my whole self.
What does having a successful life mean to you?
My idea of success has been completely redefined in the past few years. Once upon a time I would’ve told you it was about being married with children and finances that would not leave me wanting. Now, it’s more about finding contentment in all facets of life.
How often do you think about your body?
More often now than ever. It feels like my body has changed a lot in the past few years and I’m in the process of accepting it and loving it for what it is now.
When do you ask for help?
I’m happy to report that I’m asking for help now more than ever. I’m in a very uncertain phase of my life, and I’m finally learning to lean on my people for support. I’ve realized that asking for help feels a whole lot better than carrying the burden alone.
What is something you feel strongly about?
Loyalty. I think one of the best expressions of love is through loyalty. It’s something I’m deeply committed to and probably one reason I love dogs so much – their uninhibited “ride or die” mentality. For the record, I believe in challenging the ones you love and pushing them to do better (when appropriate/warranted), but that’s the type of loyalty I’m talking about - the kind that makes people feel like someone is looking out for them, loving them, supporting them.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Love really is all around.
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