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#235. blue roses, breaking up & being a great doctor

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 22

Relationship Status: single

Occupation: 5th year medical student

Income: none (full-time student)

Astrological Sign: cancer


What is the most important part of your daily routine?

My favorite part of my daily routine, and one I wouldn’t trade for anything, is drinking my cup of coffee after lunch. As simple as it sounds, coffee is my favorite drink, and I have one religiously every day. It boosts my energy for the rest of the day, and I just love savoring it slowly.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

I think my happiness depends the most on being able to grow as a person, experience new things, and have fun. I enjoy traveling, going out for cocktails all dressed up, getting good at running, and trying to meet new people and build connections. I just don’t want to feel stuck in life, and I get a rush of happiness when something out of my expected routine happens.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Right now, I wish I wasn’t so reliant on my need for a boyfriend again. I’ve been single for a year now, and I have used this time to figure out my emotions, but I do feel like I would only be complete if I could experience love again.


When do you question yourself?

I question myself constantly during medical school. It was worse in the beginning, though. Now, I am more experienced and know that it’s normal to feel this way; it’s part of the process.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

I’ve found people who love me the way I am. Growing up, I was very insecure about my personality, but I later realized it was because I hadn’t found the right people yet.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

I have forgiven myself for being so harsh on myself when I was younger and for always being dissatisfied with what I had. I understand the circumstances, and I wish I could tell myself that everything will be fine.


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

In my head, I have forgiven my ex-boyfriend for putting an end to our relationship. After a lot of thinking and grieving, I realized he was not the right person for me to be with long-term. We had a beautiful connection, but it had to end.


How do you ground/center yourself?

Being alone with my thoughts. There’s always a lot going on in my mind and I need to be by myself to process it all, either in my bedroom while listening to music or by going on a walk/run.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

Trusting myself and my potential. Knowing that life still has a lot to offer and that if I want to change, I have to take action myself instead of just waiting.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

Yes, after a period of time when I was feeling very lonely, I knew I had to do something about it. I changed a lot of things in my life, which led to the best version of myself and changed me forever. I was 19. Now, I look back to three years ago, and I think I might be an even better version now because I have a completely different mindset and am more mature. I hope there are still many more best versions of myself to come.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That people have to follow the traditional life course. I believe life is actually meaningless when looking at the big picture, and because of that we can give it any meaning we want. It’s okay if someone never wants to marry or have kids. It’s okay if someone wants to have a different, risky career. It’s okay if someone leaves everything behind to pursue their dream.


What is something you know for sure?

I know for sure that I can overcome whatever difficulties I’m faced with. I feel very connected to myself, and I’m optimistic that I will live the life that I want to live in the long run.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

  1. Honesty and trust. Thinking about my past relationship, things were a lot better in the first year than they became after that, and I believe it’s because we stopped being completely honest with each other about our feelings. Personally, it’s almost impossible to let myself be vulnerable with someone who I don’t trust completely, so for me, this is the most important thing.

  2. Respect. I need someone who doesn’t try to change me and respects the person I am - both the good and the bad.

  3. Sense of humor. When flirting, I only become interested in a person if we share the same sense of humor or if he makes me laugh, so I have come to realize that this is an essential aspect for me.


When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

I feel most comfortable when I’m with the people closest to me, with whom I can look ugly, laugh all I want, and show the honest side of my personality without feeling judged.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

Recently, I was in awe of the starry night sky in a place with barely any lights. I could see more stars than I’d ever seen. It’s definitely a sight that I will want to see again.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

I have two. One was a bouquet of blue roses (I’ve loved blue roses since then), and the other was a color palette frame of my favorite movie.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

When I was a teenager living with my parents, they always wanted to go on walks with me. Even though I was often forced to go, other times, I would just say no and stay home. Sometimes, I wish I had always said yes because I don’t spend as much time with them after getting into university.


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

I will always say no to spending time with people who I know won’t do me any good. My time and well-being are valuable, and I don’t want my energy drained.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality?

My calmness. Even though I get anxious sometimes (mostly just around university exams), I am a very calm person, which is noticeable in how I talk and act. I think it’s actually a rare trait, and I like that about me.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up?

I’m studying to be a doctor, so naturally, I want to be a great one, the type that makes patients go home thinking they are lucky to have me as their doctor. But, more than that, I want to be able to dedicate time to my other interests as well and have a balanced life while always evolving as a person. I want to be someone that I would be proud of as a teenager.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

This year, I traveled to my dream destination! I loved it, and I’m so happy it happened at the age of 22 since 2 is my favorite number. I can’t wait for all my future trips!

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