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#232. communication, counting blessings & leaving the world better than we found it

Writer's picture: Devyn Penney Devyn Penney



Age: 43

Relationship Status: Long-term relationship

Occupation: Health Services Administrator

Income: 135k/yr

Astrological Sign: Libra


What is the most important part of your daily routine?

Going to bed on time. I don’t function well without sleep.


What is your current happiness most dependent on?

How I feel physically. As long as I feel good, I’m a happy, content, and motivated person, but as perimenopause is creeping in, I’m finding myself more tired and unmotivated.


What do you wish you were less reliant on?

Anything that I need to buy from someone else to survive. If we were to lose gas, electricity or access to a food supply for more than a few days, we’d be goners. Eventually, I want to be more self-sufficient.


When do you question yourself?

I always question if I’m a good enough mom. I have a young adult daughter and two older teenage boys, and I wonder if I did the best for them. if I spent enough time with them, and if they truly know how deep my love for them is. Navigating divorce and dating while still being a good mom has been hard, and I have a lot of regrets.


What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?

My education. Nobody can take that away from me, and it’s given me financial freedom to do things that make me happy.


What is something you have forgiven yourself for?

For not leaving my marriage long before I did. It all worked out for the best in the end.


What is something you have forgiven someone else for?

My ex-husband, for being a pretty shitty dad once we separated. He never had a good role model growing up and I’ve grown to realize that he’s doing the best he can with what he knows.


How do you ground/center yourself?

By counting my blessings. I’m healthy, my kids are healthy, my partner is healthy, both my parents are alive and healthy, I’m in a safe relationship, and I have a warm place to come home to. Not much else matters.


What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?

Medication. When I found out my husband had cheated again and I knew our marriage was really over, I absolutely fell apart. I had nightmares; I couldn’t eat, and some days, I didn’t shower. I would have survived without medication, but it definitely made it easier.


Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?

I think the best version of myself is still to come.


What is something you fundamentally disagree with?

That god is real. I think the bible is fiction, and organized religion is a cult.


What is something you know for sure?

That we’re destroying our planet.


What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?

1. Communication.

2. Commitment.

3. A love of the outdoors.


When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?

When I’m home. My house is my sanctuary.


Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?

I’m in awe of highly educated people, especially those who went back to school in later life. Getting a doctorate or PhD requires huge sacrifices, and I’m amazed by the people who make it.


What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?

Not one particular thing, but my kitchen. I didn’t really start cooking until I was close to 40 and barely had a pot or pan, and my mom has single-handedly thrifted the contents of my entire kitchen. She has contributed to my love for cooking exponentially, and I’ll continue to use those things long after she’s gone.


What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?

Moving away with my girlfriends to go to college. They have so many fun memories that they still talk about, but I wasn’t a part of them because I stayed in our hometown and went to community college.


What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?

Anything that doesn’t make me happy.


What do you believe is your most attractive quality?

My ability to communicate. I don’t think there’s much that can’t be solved with a little genuine communication, and I feel confident in openly communicating my thoughts and feelings in my relationships. It’s allowed for some really amazing, raw conversations and connections.


What/who do you want to be when you grow up?

A regenerative farmer. I want to leave the earth a tiny bit better than how I found it.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

I just got accepted into nurse practitioner school!

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