Age: 27
Relationship Status: single
Occupation: child psychologist
Astrological Sign: scorpio
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
My coffee in the mornings - I look forward to it so much. I hate rush in the morning so I like to wake up earlier and just “exist” with my coffee. And showering at the end of the day - letting it all goooo.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
Travel and my work. I struggle severely with my mental health, especially as a teen (it’s why I became a child psychologist). Now, seeing the kid’s faces and their progress, having them share their lives with me, being able to hear that I have helped them, and knowing when they have, I get it moments, etc. it makes my struggles worth it! It is my purpose in life - to help kids and teens to not go through what I went through. So my success in doing that is my happiness.
Travel is my freedom! I worked and fought so hard to be alive, so I want life to be on MY terms. Travel gives me that freedom, independence and empowerment. I travel solo while working fully online, so I can provide therapy anywhere. It fills my soul! It’s also super cute when the kids say, “Your background is different, where are you now!?”
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
My mental health. It really rules my life. How much I take on, how I wake up, how I function, my energy levels, my relationships, my immense anxiety and stress, my will to live. I have accepted that it’s how it is, I have mental illnesses, butit’’s really hard. Mental health can be debilitating.
When do you question yourself?
Not often, but mostly in relationships. I’m very sure of what I want in my life - I don’t regret anything. But in relationships, I question whether I want someone else or not. I feel so much peace when I’m solo. I’ve had pretty difficult relationships and they have impacted me so badly. One relationship was emotionally abusive and made me question who I was - that sucked. So, is it even worth it? I kind of love the no commitment vibe.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
My parents, my besties and my work. My parents have raised me to believe that I can do anything. As my dad says, “You a princess and people must treat you as such!” My sister and I always say that if we want a confidence boost we post on our family group chat. My parents (and my childhood nanny) are my saviors - they really make me believe that I am fabulous. My besties are my biggest cheerleaders. When I was down in the dumps as a teen, I completely isolated myself from them and they still cheered me on from afar. They are always there for me and never judge. I treasure them! Lastly, my work and youth mental health advocacy makes me feel empowered.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
Hurting myself. I have self-harmed since I was a teen and have had many suicide attempts. I forgive myself for hurting little me because I was internally hurting. I have always forgiven myself for how I react and manage relationships (thanks to thousands of hours in therapy). I highly recommend therapy.
Now, I really appreciate me.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
I have forgiven my sister for never being there for me when I was unwell. When I was in and out of hospitals and bedridden throughout my youth; she was never there and never understood - she still doesn’t fully get it and I don’t think she ever will. This was a LONG journey and it hurts me still when it’s triggered, but I have forgiven her. That’s how she chose to act and could only deal with me in her capacity.
How do you ground/center yourself?
Being alone and being with my cat, I call it, “existing” - just being. Lying on the couch, drinking coffee, reading/watching tv/playing a game/drawing. Existing…and forcing my cat to cuddle me, it’s sooo healing.
Also spa days! Love me a spa day.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
Coping mechanisms/tools and my parents and nanny. I had to learn coping tools on my own. I really have to fight every day to get out of bed, so building that tool box and actually understanding what the fuck is going on with me was life changing! I always say that learning about your mental health and being aware of YOUR mental health should be your number one priority. Without my parents and childhood nanny, I wouldn’t be here today. They were there for me unconditionally. They showered me, sat with me, saved me, looked after my scars; they did everything. My nanny used to say (and still does), “don’t die before I die”, I’m crying, thinking of her - that used to save me. She is my guardian angel. I see her weekly. I owe her my life.
My parents are my saviors. They give me life.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
Yes, totally, in the last 2 years I feel like I have really connected to myself. I am doing ME on MY terms. It is so empowering. I work on myself a lot through therapy, I listen to myself and my needs, I’m really successful in my business and I just feel confident about who I am. I’m really proud of myself!
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
That you can’t go against societal norms. Like, why the fuck must I be like some random person on the internet? Why do I need to be married by 30? Why do I have to have kids? Why? Who said?? Fuck that. I always tell my patients; other people’s opinions are THEIRS and not your responsibility. Be you!
What is something you know for sure?
That support (whatever that looks like for you, as long as it’s healthy) is a game changer. Ask for help, speak up, share. It saves lives.
When you let go of what you can’t control, you will feel free.
Do what you love! Whatever that is: work, a hobby, etc. is happiness.
You don’t owe anyone shit. Except your kids.
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
Sex! I love it! I’m really open sexually and I love to explore…because women can! Fuck the stigmas and stereotypes. I really enjoy it and I always feel super sexy.
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
My patients and my parents.
My patients make me so proud! They are so brave and funny and amazing. I love being a part of their lives. They amaze me all the time - I’m smiling even thinking of them.
My mom is sick with Parkinsons and my dad went through a rough patch at work. They are the epitome of fighting and never giving up. They really inspire me.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
My cat and my comfort teddy. My two regulators.
I have had a comfort pillow and teddy since I was born and I can’t live without them.
And my cat is my baby! I AM OBSESSED. We facetime (lol).
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
I can’t really think of anything that majorly sticks out, but I do wish I didn’t leave a business I was a partner in and carried on to build what I really wanted out of it. And maybe ending a certain relationship.
What's meant to be will be I guess! Who knows?
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
Working for someone else and settling in a partner. It killed my soul to work for someone. It always affected my mental stability severely - in a negative way.
And settling for a life partner. I’ve seen it around me and it seems terrible.
Also, my boundaries being crossed. I AM OVER THE BARE MINIMUM.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
My empathy and that I’m loud, direct and confident. People always come to me, I’m that friend in the group! Sometimes it’s to my disadvantage.
I’m really bubbly and loud. I’m also super direct in conversations and I appreciate that about myself. I am quite confident in all settings and it really helps with the solo travel.
I think they are both equally attractive qualities - good question, actually!
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
No one else, just me. But me with more empowerment in relationships. These men are so disappointing (it’s a joke at this rate).
I do want to learn as I grow.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Take in the small things. When you see life in darkness, the sky, nature, coffee, small experiences are so heightened and they make life worth it.
YOLO. Highly recommend living by that. Fuck it, who cares?! Literally no one.
Also, a nice quote of Ghandi, “Remember,
whatever you do in life is insignificant. But it’s very important that you do.”
Comentarios