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Writer's pictureDevyn Penney

#187. chanterelles, CPS & perfect chaos




Age: 37

Relationship Status: Living common-law

Occupation:  Forensic psychotherapist with sex offenders 

Income: 80k

Astrological Sign: Aries sun Taurus rising

 

What is your first thought every morning?

« How do I feel today, and why? » both mentally and physically.

 

What is something you do solely for you?

I realize that I’ve had to think way too much about how to answer to this. I don’t do a lot solely for me. I’d say exercise because I feel so good afterward, but I tend to put the needs of others first, so I don’t do it as often as I want... 

 

What is something you dread?

Serious health issues. My health and the health of my loved ones. I don’t allow myself to think of it too often because it’s terrifying.

 

What is something you are looking forward to?

I love my career and my everyday life, but I like having a trip to plan and look forward to. Traveling is so much fun and makes the best memories. My last trip was to Switzerland, and my next one is going back to France.

 

When do you feel most accomplished?

Every night at dinner, eating a delicious meal filled with love with my partner and seven kids around the table. We foster boys from CPS, and it makes my heart so full. I couldn’t have children of my own, but having the chance to be a foster mom makes me feel useful. I try my best to really make a difference in the lives of those tiny humans. It’s my greatest accomplishment. It’s perfect chaos.

 

What is something you regret investing in financially?

Nothing, really. I constantly asked for a horse when I was younger, and my parents would say, “It’s too expensive; wait ‘til you get your own money.” So, I got a horse at 18, and it was everything I’ve ever dreamed of. As a young adult I was very careful with money to be sure I’d have enough to take care of him. Some would say I’ve invested way too much over the years in that horse (I don’t want to know how much, honestly, haha), but he’s my rock, and I would do it all over again. I still have him; it’s been 20 years - we’ve been through it all together!

 

What is something you regret investing in emotionally?

Corporate drama a while ago. Totally not worth it. I had a miscarriage around that time, and I feel that I didn’t have space to fully grieve because of all the space the corporate drama was taking in me.

 

What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?

(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)

  1. Clean, healthy food to fuel the body – and food that brings joy and color.

  2. Pets bring me SO MUCH joy and peace (bonus - hits three types of investment listed in the question!)

  3. Time with friends and family is time well spent - so precious!

 

When do you feel most creative?

When doing various DIY projects. I’m a crafty girl, always a thousand projects in mind, but not enough time!

 

How often do you compare yourself to others? When?

All the time when it comes to my body, sadly. I have a hard time accepting that my body is aging and changing. I try to be kind to myself - I repeat to myself that I want to use this body to live life to its fullest instead of trying to make it look perfect. Wrinkles, sunspots, scars, belly pooch, and various non-serious aches prove that I’m doing life! I want to be grateful for a healthy body that serves me daily, but it’s not always easy.

 

What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?

Being that strong and resilient through every hardship I’ve been through. I would not consider myself resilient at the time but now, looking back on everything, I’d say I did it like a champ. 

 

What is one thing you believe about your future self?

That I’ll be okay, no matter what. I will find a way because I am capable. (Most of the time, I believe this, but I’m also prone to anxiety about the future).

 

What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?

Is Pluto still a planet, ultimately?

 

Have you ever felt pure joy? When?

I feel lucky to say often. Recently, I found chanterelles (delicious wild mushrooms) on our land at the cottage. I was over the moon. Nature’s hidden gems!

 

What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?

I’d like to tell my mom that her anxiety (which she won’t admit having) keeps her from doing so much and I feel she’s wasting what is remaining of her life. That it hurts to say, but I don’t feel I have a mom anymore.

 

When do you feel most in your feminine energy?

With patients in therapy. Compassion and empathy towards individuals that society despises - that’s when I feel the most in my feminine energy. Sex offenders often have horrendous backstories. In no way does it excuse what they’ve done - But empowering, encouraging them to take responsibility, helping towards change, healing the inner child, and being present for them when nobody else wants to, they need all that to rehabilitate and to heal, and for a while in their life, I’m that person.  Plus, I work for fellow women - because less recidivism equals less victims!

 

What is one interaction that changed your life?

Cliché, but meeting my actual partner. It eventually changed my life forever, as we decided to foster kids. At first it was one, then two, then oops, seven!

 

What is something you want to give up?

Doomscrolling before sleep. It doesn’t do me any good. 

 

What is something you want to take up?

Read more books.

 

What do you believe is a universal truth?

Everything in life begins with one small step.

 

BONUS: Tell me something good.

Yesterday I was at a miniature golf course with the kids - at the last hole, hole-in-ones are rewarded with an ice cream cone. There were nine of us, and my two youngest kids took up the challenge. They are 6 and 7 and were so proud of themselves—pure joy.

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