Age: 41
Relationship Status: Engaged too damn long/ together ten years, engaged five years.
Occupation: College Professor
Income: $120K
Astrological Sign: Aquarius
What is your first thought every morning?
How many meetings do I have today?
What is something you do solely for you?
I read as much as possible and monthly self care (nails, hair, toes, etc.).
What is something you dread?
The thought of knowing and accepting that I won’t have another child because I wasted so much time and my birthing years on an older man who was selfish.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Regaining strength in my personal life and the ability to walk away from things that no longer serve me.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I am passing on knowledge and guiding others towards their greatness.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Investing in my Doctoral degree, sometimes I wonder if it was worth it.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Investing in the idea of a perfect love/mate.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Mothering my son
Mothering my daughter
Therapy. Not allowing my childhood to hold me back.
When do you feel most creative?
I feel most creative when I am tucked away in my closet, writing at 2am or when I am painting outside in my backyard in the middle of a summer day.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
I don’t compare myself to others, it’s a spirit killer.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I’d like to thank my past self for never giving up, even when things didn’t make sense.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I will forgive myself for wasting emotional intelligence and time on things and people who weren’t deserving.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
My childhood was painfully beautiful (if that makes any sense). My mother was and still is in her drug addiction and my father broke his own heart when he failed me earlier in life. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at me and I can hear the pain in his voice when speaks to me. I am still learning that my childhood disappointments and pain was not because of me.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Heck yes, when I am lying next to my 16-year-old son and my 12-year-old daughter after they have randomly climbed into bed with me.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
If I could talk to a sober version of my mother and tell her how the lack of care she’s had for me ruined my ability to have valuable and meaningful relationships with women.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
When I am soaking in a hot bubble bath, with music playing. I am truly comfortable in my own skin.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
The 41-year interaction I’ve experienced with my 92-year-old grandmother who raised me on pure love. She’s my guardian angel and the only person who loves me for just existing.
What is something you want to give up?
The fairytale thinking I have around love and life.
What is something you want to take up?
Modeling.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
What’s done in the dark will come to light.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
One day I will find my person and get married again.
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