Age: 30
Relationship Status: Long-term Relationship
Occupation: Supply Teacher
Income: $40 000
Astrological Sign: Taurus
What is your first thought every morning?
My morning always starts when my boyfriend gives me a goodbye kiss before he goes to work and he tells me he loves me. Then I go on my phone, usually on TikTok and feed my cats. I guess I always think, let’s do it all over again today, but not in a bad way!
What is something you do solely for you?
Read. I read so much - over 100 books a year - and have read voraciously since I was a little girl. I love reading and I always prioritize it for myself.
What is something you dread?
Death. We had a hard death in the family last year, and my boyfriend and I were very affected by it. It scares me that the people around me and my animals won’t be here anymore. I also have difficulty with health-related anxiety (on top of generalized anxiety), so thinking of possible health issues in the future can be very scary. I try to remind myself that our bodies are built to survive, and I try to trust that my body will let me know if something is wrong.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Getting married and starting a family. I’ve known my boyfriend for almost 10 years, and we have been together for 5. He is by far the best partner I’ve ever had and my best friend. I can’t imagine doing life without him and I excited to make that commitment to him. I’m also excited for us to start a family and do all the things. I had never before thought about seriously having a child with anyone else, but when I start thinking that I can have a child who is half him, half me, it feels really special. I also want to find a job that I enjoy and stick with it.
When do you feel most accomplished?
Completing or finishing something, and having my loved ones say that they’re proud of me. It can be something small like finishing a hard day of supplying and thinking I made it through without quitting, having a difficult conversation or getting my degrees. Being there for people and helping people also make me feel accomplished, when I’ve spent time teaching a student a concept and they get it.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
So much makeup and skincare over the years. I’ve struggled with acne for almost 20 years and still have it. I’ve taken pills for it that gave me extremely serious health issues, so can now only use topicals to treat it. I wish I had sucked it up and gone to the dermatologist years ago rather than feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I finally went and my skin has improved so much. But when I think about the amount of money that I (and my mom) have spent on trying to “fix it” over the years, I cringe and want to cry for that little girl who just wanted clear skin. Even though it still gets me down sometimes, I try to be positive about slight change and remind myself that my boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful. It also helps when I see anyone on social media that has acne too - that makes me feel so much better. I saw someone on TikTok say, “Healthy skin over perfect skin.” and that stuck with me.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Relationships. Partly romantic relationships and some friendships. I truly try to trust my intuition now and really put, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them,” Into practice. I would also add to that, when someone says they don’t want you, leave. It will never get better long-term, and even though it hurts, you will move on.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
1. Therapy
2. Being in nature (in whatever capacity you want)
3. Reading/Learning
I truly believe every single person on this earth can benefit from therapy, I know there are major hardships in getting/seeing a therapist which is awful, and I hope that changes in the future, but even going to your doctor and asking for free sessions, even if they’re limited, can be worth it. I believe being in nature will ground you, help clear your mind and bring you joy if you embrace it. Just spending time outside, going for a walk. Reading for me is so important - I think it’s important to always be willing to learn something new and acknowledge that you don’t ever know everything, keep an open mind and be willing to grow and shift your perspective.
When do you feel most creative?
When I’m teaching and something just comes to me, so I run with it, and it works out! That’s a nice feeling.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Often, but I do feel more secure in myself now than I ever have. I’ve given up the constant want to lose weight and just bought bigger jeans and shorts, I go out without makeup, even though my acne and acne scars are showing. I’m just over hiding, especially from people I don’t know, and I’ve come to not care about their opinion so much. Sometimes I do look at others and envy their skin, their body, the fact that they own a house, are married, have a family, etc. But at this point in my life, I can also acknowledge that even though people look happy on the outside, we truly never know what’s going on inside.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
Not giving up on love and going to therapy. Going to therapy really helped me get to know myself in a different way and helped with my anxiety. My last relationship was very toxic and awful. Things happened where I thought to myself, I don’t want to do this love thing again, but I did and am now in a very secure and happy relationship.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I think my idea of having a happy life keeps changing but I believe my future self will cultivate and create that happy life. I also believe (and hope) that I’ll be a good mother if I do have children. I think I’ll still love to read :)
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
That relationships and communication should be healthy. Screaming at each other, getting mad over small things and blaming people shouldn’t be normalized. It is worth it to learn to communicate with your partner and family (and friends), in a healthy, respectful way, every person deserves that. Not having control of your anger as an adult is an issue you have to take seriously and seek treatment/help for.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
A couple of times, always being in or around nature, having a moment with a loved one and not worrying about anything or thinking about what I have to do or what comes next, just truly enjoying that moment. I’ve had a couple of those, and my therapist and I used to call them “in the water moments”, where you’re in a beautiful spot, standing in the water and your mind is clear, you’ve around people you love.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
I lost a friendship with someone who was very important to me. This person got into a new relationship and ghosted me one day. It still hurts when I think about it, and I would love to know why and get closure.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
During or after sex, being naked with the person I love and knowing that they think I’m beautiful.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
To put it simply, I went to school to become a teacher and was able to do that, but I had an interaction with my administration that was so unbearably hurtful that I haven’t been able to do anything other than supply teach since. My entire perspective and feelings towards teaching shifted in that moment and I can’t seem to get back to the person I was before that moment. I have never felt lower in my life, now I have no direction professionally and am still trying to find my way.
What is something you want to give up?
Unhealthy eating. I don’t have a bad diet, but I do struggle sometimes with balance and overeating. I also don’t always want to put in the effort of preparing food and can’t afford to eat the healthiest foods. I am constantly wanting to try harder at incorporating all those things.
What is something you want to take up?
This is going to sound silly, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to braid my own hair. I can do a basic braid but can’t French braid and it’s always in the back of my mind to make the time to learn. Also, exercising regularly. I walk the dog every day, we walk and hike a lot and I love yoga, but I can never remain consistent with any kind of exercise.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
The world will not treat you better if you are a good person. Be a good person for yourself, anyway.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Adopting an animal is a really, really great feeling! Since I adopted my first cat (who has since passed) my family and I have adopted 4 cats.
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