Age: 41
Relationship Status: In a (new) relationship
Occupation: Senior HR Professional
Income: 250k
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
What is your first thought every morning?
Thank you, Jesus! I'm always excited to wake up and start my day, normally at the gym. I also love my solo slow and quiet mornings with a hot green tea w/honey and a hearty breakfast. I’m always grateful for that experience.
Sidenote- I love Mondays!
What is something you do solely for you?
The infrared sauna. I go 1-2x per week for 60 minute sessions. Normally, I’ll listen to a podcast or a sermon while there. It’s so relaxing and a good mental/physical detox.
My nails every 2-3 weeks. I do loud and abstract designs every time. My nails really are an act of expression for me.
What is something you dread?
I recently accepted my dream job that requires me to relocate across the country. I am dreading the move and starting over with building a solid community and living in a new city (which is odd because I’ve moved several times for my career). I really love my life and friendships in my current city and really don't want to move but I've committed to this job (which I love) and my Manager (who I also love) and don't want to disappoint her.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Getting older, slowing down, and the maturity that comes with living life and age. I’ve lived a fantastic life and so blessed that it’s gotten better as I age. I’ve learned so much about myself, life, people, and my boundaries that has shaped me to be more vocal, confident, and selective. I’ve curated something special and am so excited to continue to settle into this life I’ve created.
I also look forward to a closer relationship/friendship with my parents. I love them so much and they are truly my best friends.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When my house is tidy and all my laundry is put away (which is rare).
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Private higher education. I obtained both of my degrees from expensive private universities and neither has served me much purpose. I’m confident I would have done just as well, or better, sticking with local state schools and heavy networking.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Previous friendships. I used to run in a large friend group and what I found was that I considered people my friend but they didn’t consider me their friend. People love to be included but are rarely inclusive. Now, I find it better to keep my circle super small and go hard for those who reciprocate.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Solid female friendships-those women will stand the test of time and often love you better than you or any man can love yourself.
Self-care: facials, skincare, body work, gym, massages, etc. Whatever-do it. Spend it. You’ll be glad you did. It’s so worth it.
Therapy…
When do you feel most creative?
When I am cooking and trying a new recipe. My toxic trait is that I will use the recipe for inspiration but won’t follow the instructions. I enjoy letting the smells and my taste guide me or as the kids say letting my ancestors speak to me. LOL
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Never! No one’s life is perfect, everyone has problems or issues. Who am I to covet what someone else has when I have no clue what they went through to obtain that result? People love to focus on the results but never think about the sacrifices made to get to that result. I can barely carry my own burdens. How arrogant to think I could carry someone else’s.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I’d like to thank me for being me. For having hustle, grit, street smarts, and book sense. For staying open to possibilities beyond my wildest dreams. For leaving when God said GO, for trusting HIS PATH for my life. It’s been bigger than I could have ever imagined.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
That God will continue to lead me and that I will continue to be THAT GIRL!
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
When I was younger, it was hard for me to understand when people did “wrong” but now as an adult I understand that people/adults have their egos, issues, insecurities, and traumas that influence their decision making and often project their shit onto the people closest to them. And rarely have the self awareness or courage to operate differently.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Yes, most recently designer shopping in Europe with some friends. We were gallivanting across Paris, Madrid, and St. Tropez in the designer stores, shopping, sipping LOTS of champagne, laughing and gossiping. We’ve all worked so hard to get to where we are, and it gives me so much joy to have those experiences with them. We are also planning to make this an annual summer thing.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
How super disappointed I've been with people I've called friends. I feel really unprotected and haven't been able to articulate it.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
Thinking about when I’ve felt the most feminine as an adult is when I’m intimate with my current boyfriend. The way he cares for, speaks to, and affirms me makes me feel soft, beautiful, and extra feminine.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
I wouldn’t say, changed my life, but several less-than-positive dating situations definitely opened my eyes to the complexities of relationships with unhealed people and marriage. I used to really desire and romanticize motherhood and marriage, but now I have a realistic view, and although I still desire to be married (ambivalent about kids at this point), I know how much work it can take to be healthy and in a healthy marriage/relationship. And honestly, that shit doesn't really seem like it’s worth it.
What is something you want to give up?
Drinking. I’m a social drinker, and I’m super social, so I consume a lot of alcohol on a weekly basis, catching up with friends, date nights, and social events. I’m starting to notice how it affects my body as I get older. I am not saying I want to give it up altogether, but I want to cut back significantly.
What is something you want to take up?
Swimming! I am deathly afraid of water (although I travel often and love to jump off yachts with a life jacket, of course) and would love to learn how to swim. I think my anxiety would kill me before I would actually drown.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
The energy you put out in the universe comes back to you…10 fold.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I’m actually excited to sell my house due to the relocation and be completely debt free!
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