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Writer's pictureDevyn Penney

#145. wedding planning, parental failures & a 2008 Prius




Age: 29

Relationship Status: Engaged

Occupation: Marketing

Income: $140,000

Astrological Sign: Leo


What is your first thought every morning?

I’m always thinking about my dog first thing in the morning. I make sure his needs are met first thing in the morning during the week, as I like to get up and get moving early. On the weekends, I like to sleep in, so my fiancé takes care of him.  The dog wakes up an hour earlier than I do and likes to hang out on the couch by himself - it’s one of my favorite things in the world to come around the corner and hear his tail start wagging against the couch because he’s happy I’m awake & knows it’s time to spend some time in the yard together.


What is something you do solely for you?

Planning/organization/structure/routines are something that I do entirely for me. I’m extremely Type A, and the systems I put in place are entirely to bring my brain calmness and order. It’s what makes me feel grounded when everything else is chaotic.


What is something you dread?

Working out...I wish I liked it, but I just don’t get the high that people claim to get. I’ve tried everything. I have a home gym, I play tennis, I go to hot yoga, I hike a lot, I go to barre classes, I’m a runner, etc. I’ve never really found joy in doing any of it; it always feels like a chore.


What is something you are looking forward to?

My wedding! Wedding planning has been one of the most fun periods of my life. My fiancé makes everything really fulfilling. He is always down to drive an hour out of the way to choose our napkins, for example. He came up with a really fun idea to hire an astronomer to set up a telescope on the wrap-around patio at our wedding venue. It’s little things like that that make this so exciting.


When do you feel most accomplished?

I always feel the most accomplished when I get to talk about my dog for lots of reasons. Recently, it’s because I kicked things into high gear to help him lose 10 pounds. He’s 10-years-old, so it’s important to me to keep him as healthy as possible long-term. A few years ago, he was almost put to sleep due to a bite incident, and my fiancé fought with everything he had to rehabilitate him, while also taking responsibility and being accountable for what happened. I’m really proud that our dog is so much more mentally healthy and safe now. We’ve worked hard to let our dog be at peace in his home & his mind so nothing like that ever happens again.


What is something you regret investing in financially?

Going to an expensive, out-of-state grad school for journalism. If I could go back in time, I’d never do that again. I didn’t have any adults in my life to talk me out of it. I’ve been going it alone, in regard to my education, for most of my life, and as a result, I made lots of choices I regret.


What is something you regret investing in emotionally?

Honestly, nothing. I feel extremely lucky to be able to say that. 


What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?

(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)

  1. A notoriously reliable car. I drive a 2008 Prius that has not had a single problem since I bought it.

  2. This one is niche only to some people, but if you’re thinking about getting a breast reduction, do it. Best decision of my entire life, bar none. The freedom to buy whatever clothes you want and look good in them cannot be overstated.

  3. Genuinely, whatever it is that makes you happy. For me, I love dining out, and I do it several times a week, even though I know it’s cheaper to cook my meals at home. It’s well worth it for me to try new things and have new experiences with the love of my life. For others, that could be video games, concert tickets, etc. If you love it, it’s worth the investment.


When do you feel most creative?

Never. I’m one of those people who does not have an imagination, no internal monologue. There’s nothing going on up there, creatively. I am one of those people who draws an oval with four sticks for legs if I’m drawing an animal.

Even as someone who writes for a living, I am not a creative writer by any stretch of the imagination, which is why I work in technical marketing jobs.


How often do you compare yourself to others? When?

Every single day. I love myself, and I love the life that I have, but it’s hard not to compare. I compare my appearance to others, the clothes I wear, how I navigate the world, my car, my house, my job, my habits, etc.


What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?

Being resilient & diligent about my education and career, despite having absolutely no trusted adults in my life to guide me. I grew up with my mom, but emotionally I was fending for myself while also taking care of grown-up stuff for her from a very young age. I was malnourished as a child, and I know how that can affect a kid’s brain, so I am proud and thankful to myself for pushing forward in spite of what I was up against for so many years.


What is one thing you believe about your future self?

I believe I’m going to retire early with the love of my life and we’re going to have so many fun years to explore, belly laugh, eat great food, and document our lives together. We’re going to make so many fantastic memories, I can’t wait.


What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?

I was taught a lot of terrible things growing up, but one of the big ones is that going to therapy is not for “stupid people” or “failures.” My mother still thinks this. She hardcore judges me for seeing a therapist and wants to know what I talk to her about because she feels like she needs to defend herself from the things that I bring up. She has a ton of negative feelings about seeking any help whatsoever, through medication or therapy or otherwise, for mental health.


Have you ever felt pure joy? When?

All of the time. My engagement was probably one of the most joyful moments of my life, but I experience pure joy so frequently in my life. I am so happy that I start crying in public about it often. My fiancé has an album of photos in his phone of every time I start crying at the bar over how in love I am and how happy I am with the life we’ve built.


What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?

I am extremely resentful that between me and my partner, we have four parents who are borderline useless at navigating the world without our help. It shouldn’t be the kid’s job to do so much hand-holding. I’m desperate for them to develop a shred of independence, and I know they never will.


When do you feel most in your feminine energy?

When I spend a lot of time getting ready and looking my prettiest. Picking out a gorgeous flowery dress, some heels to make me feel tall and important, curling my hair, taking great care of my skin, picking out a fragrance. It sounds so basic, but I am such a stereotypical woman in that way.


What is one interaction that changed your life?

The first interaction with my now fiancé on the dating app that we met on. He commented on a picture of me dressed as The Rock for Halloween (you know the photo, it’s the one of him in the black turtleneck with the gold chain & a fanny pack…iconic image).


What is something you want to give up?

Drinking coffee…my rosacea flares up a lot more when I drink coffee frequently I have realized. But it’s such a hard habit for me to break.


What is something you want to take up?

No spend periods. I can relentlessly spend money. I love shopping and always find a reason to spend money. I really admire people who can reflect on their finances and control their impulsive spending behaviors. I grew up without any money, and I feel like I’m still not past the period of “now that I make money, I should buy myself all of the things that I want.”


What do you believe is a universal truth?

Your gut will never lead you in the wrong direction. Trust it, both for big things and little things.


BONUS: Tell me something good.

My fiancé just put a satellite in space that will help slow the impacts of climate change, and I think that is so cool. I am so proud and think it’s amazing to see people who really put their personal values on display in their careers.

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