Age: 27
Relationship Status: Long-term relationship
Occupation: PR Professional
Income: over 75k
Astrological Sign: Aries
What is your first thought every morning?
The usual existential dread of having to get up and clock into my job - even though I only work 10 steps away in my living room and I love my job. But these days, I’m being intentional about trying to have more productive and enriching mornings, so now I think about the existential dread AND getting up to stretch and play the NYT Games.
I’ve figured out if you can find a way to have a little treat in the morning to get you excited about SOMETHING, the days feel a little longer, I’m a little more awake, and a little less dread-y.
What is something you do solely for you?
I like to journal these days. It’s not something that I’m consistent with, and I totally forget about it for weeks at a time, but my good friend (we’ll call him Y) put me on. I’m quite impressed with his personal growth over the years, so I thought I would give it a try myself! Every young girl had a secret diary. This is just the adult version.
It’s nice to be able to put my thoughts down on paper—I love to write. Looking back and seeing how I felt at different moments of my life is a wild but rewarding experience. However, looking back can also be a little cringey, so it’s not for the faint of heart if you suffer from deep secondhand embarrassment like I do, but it's something I recommend.
What is something you dread?
Dying, to put it simply LOL. It’s something I think about every day, and I wonder if everyone else thinks about it as much as I do.
I’m terrified of my friends, family, and partner dying, but I think about my own personal last breath more frequently than I care to admit. And the thing is – the day will come inevitably. That’s, I think, what makes it so hard to grapple with but also makes it slightly more comforting. My perception of it changes by the day.
What is something you are looking forward to?
I have always felt like I come alive during the autumnal and winter seasons, and I know many (maybe the vast majority) will disagree with me.
Yes, it’s dark at 4pm for a while. It’s cold and wet, especially in Washington. HOWEVER - until you have experienced the beauty of a Washington autumn, you just won’t understand! The scenery is something out of a magazine. The fall colors of the trees are gorgeous; it just feels so cozy. Plus – I love the spooky season.
I don’t think I need to elaborate on the magic of Christmas time. The season has declined in “magic” for me since the aforementioned existential dread settled in, but it’s still got enough magic to get stars in my eyes when the tree gets brought out (November 1, for my household).
When do you feel most accomplished?
The less fun answer is that I do a lot of reporting on how KPIs were met for clients at my job. Although it is my least favorite part of my job, seeing what my team and I accomplished for them that year/quarter makes it all feel worth it.
The more fun answer is when my partner and I have mopped/vacuumed, made breakfast, and cleaned the house on the weekend, all before 10am. Now THAT shit feels good. There was a time in my life when I didn’t experience a single weekend day not hungover and unable to do anything besides order Doordash, sometimes twice.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
I don’t know if I have anything I truly regret investing in financially. Maybe I regret ordering so much food for delivery and wasting money on Ubers? I don’t know about anyone else, but it’s tough to get an Uber in my city. Going 2 miles is almost 40 dollars. It’s crazy.
Truly, count your days, Doordash! While I FULLY support restaurants and gig workers/drivers, it’s not worth it anymore unless it’s an emergency - like I’m starving and tipsy on the weekend. They’ve got me right where they want me, unfortunately.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Some friendships. There are people that I have met over the years that I really felt would be in my life forever but I’ve grown to learn it just doesn’t work out that way. I’m someone that I grew up with and still have a lot of friends, so it’s okay. I love and feel very deeply sometimes and have a bad habit of romanticizing friendships/relationships and people to be better than they were.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise).
A car. It doesn’t need to be nice, but you have to get where you’re going. Please don’t come for me about public transit; it’s just not for me.
Buy high-quality clothes. As I get older, I’m learning that it’s really the way to go.
Just being a good friend. I don’t know how people live their lives completely unaware of what it means to be a good friend. Be there for your people, but be wise enough to know who deserves it.
When do you feel most creative?
Sometimes, I don’t know if I’m creative at all. I work in a creative industry, and I know that my job requires a lot of creativity, but I would and have always considered myself more clever than creative. If that makes sense, I’m funny, witty, and quick on my feet.
Maybe it’s when I’m writing, if I have to choose. I’ve always thought I could probably write a book one of these days.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Honestly, I do, but I don’t. I don’t really get affected by the whole “social media is a cesspool of comparison” ideology. I get it – and I get why people are affected by it, but I’ve always been pretty good about sticking to my own and being proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished. I think it might be because I’m an only child!
Do I see millionaires and wish I was one? Absolutely.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
Going to college. If it was a waste of money for you, it’s all good! No worries. Everyone is different. I don’t care that I’m 20k in debt (okay, maybe I care a little), but that was one of the best times of my life. I met my partner, I met some of my best friends for life, and I don’t mean to brag – but I’m actually using the skills I learned in my classes for my degree in my professional job. I wouldn’t be at the job I am today without my degree. And that’s what makes it worth it to me.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
That one day, she’ll be able to really save the money she makes and buy a house. It feels pretty far off right now in the current market, but I keep telling myself 2025 is my year to get my bag up! Just wait.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
How to have a good relationship with food and my body. Unfortunately, to no fault of her own, my mom was an almond mom growing up and was constantly trying new diets. It impacted me then, and I’m still working on it.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
I feel pure joy whenever I get the opportunity to be by the water. Something about the vast ocean has always made me feel so small, in a good way. Living in Washington has blessed me with some truly breathtaking ocean scenery. I love the sound! I feel alive.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
To speak candidly about the impact a certain parent had on my childhood. I don’t think I would ever be able to. Not because they’re not around, but because it wouldn’t be productive for our current relationship, but my inner child wants nothing more. That’s something I’m coming to terms with. It makes me feel so tired and bitter sometimes, but I know young me has a right to feel the way she does.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
Not to play into traditional gender roles but over the last ~2 years I’ve really stepped it up with cooking and trying new recipes. My mom always taught me that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and she might have been on to something. I love feeling like a 50s housewife cooking up a meal for the one I love. I feel… domestic as fuck.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
The first time I interacted with someone who was unhoused when I was younger. I grew up living in a nicer area of town but going to school where it was, let’s say, a little less nice. It was the first time I really grasped that not everyone grew up with the same privilege I did and still have. Poverty and homelessness is a vicious and generational cycle.
What is something you want to give up?
Being lazy. I’m trying harder these days to move, clean more, and be more on top of things. I have, what I’m almost positive, is undiagnosed ADHD so it can be hard working up motivation and not getting distracted. But I’m in a better place than I was when I was younger.
What is something you want to take up?
Stretching was one of them, and now I do this (almost) every morning! I have always thought it would be cool to learn sign language. I probably will never learn, but maybe when I’m older.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
I think we’re all aligned with the fact that the vast majority of men are really scary. And what’s even scarier is the number of men who are secretly scary.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I feel more myself now than I have ever felt. And if you don’t feel that way yet, just wait until you’re older. I promise it will get better.
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