Age: 39
Relationship Status: Married
Occupation: Stay at Home Mom
Income: 300,000+
Astrological Sign: Virgo
What is your first thought every morning?
Since my twins were born...“I just want to keep sleeping.”
What is something you do solely for you?
I read before bed. I leave my phone in the kitchen. I get cozy under the covers and live a different life. Escape into a story. Comfort myself with the musings of another soul. Reading heals me.
What is something you dread?
The thought of dying before my children are grown. Who will love them like me if I die? Who will endlessly forgive them for their human mistakes? Who will always answer the phone, think about them even when they aren’t there, and joyfully give them a soft place to fall? I ask God every day to give me a long life.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Hanging out with my kids. I love to be with them - to laugh, to cuddle, to adventure. I fall more in love with them every day. Sometimes, when they are sleeping, I just lay in bed and look at pictures of them. They are my dream come true.
When do you feel most accomplished?
Since my kids have been born, I never truly lose my shit. When everything goes to crap, I stay strong. But my husband loses it. I truly cannot believe how much more women can handle - physically, emotionally - everything. Women are just...incredible.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Oh my god, I was such a financial disaster as a young woman. Like a train wreck. Paycheck? I’m going to spend it all. Savings? Immediately no. Living like today is my last day, so burn it all down? Well, I’m excellent at that. Thankfully, I got it together in my 30’s. Mostly because I was still single and thought “God damnit, fuck. My imaginary husband isn’t doing all our financial stuff, and I don’t want to die destitute.”
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
The absolute fuck boys I dated in my 20’s. Sure, you can absolutely text me twice a month for sex. Why not? Haven’t met your friends or seen your apartment in daylight? No problem. And you know what? I do love how much you want anal.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
1. Giving my children the best possible opportunity for radical self-love for their bodies.
2. Showing my kids how much me and their dad love each other, how kind we are to each other, how we try for each other. It’s the only relationship they will watch “up close.”
3. Encouraging my kids to foster their relationships with family and friends. To be an easy friend who shows up and listens and cares. Who brings fun and light and warmth. Who sees the good in people.
When do you feel most creative?
I feel most creative when I am working on a speech. I feel alive when I write something that is meant to be shared aloud with others - the energy of the words bringing people together to experience something in community.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Honestly, so rarely. My parents really emphasized that comparison is the root of unhappiness. They also told us that whenever anyone around us succeeds, decide right in that moment to celebrate them. To be so happy for them. To let that energy be the driver, not envy.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
For making and sustaining solid and loving female friendships. My girlfriends make me laugh, hold me when I cry, have forgiven me for falling off the face of the planet when my twins were born. They let me be myself, let me love them so fully, make me feel seen. God, I LOVE the women in my life.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I will still believe that alcohol was the worst thing that happened to my early womanhood.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
Growing up, I learned that men don’t want to spend time with me. They don’t want to hear me talk. They prefer when I am nice and quiet and easy. And thin. And pretty. My daddy issues were deep. My dad didn’t really like me...he still doesn’t. I needed to do so much therapy to know that who I am is lovable. All of me. At any size. In any conversation. At all times.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Every single time my kids run to me to hug me. And every time they fall asleep in my arms.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
I sure love my husband. But sometimes I hate him. I look at him and think “I hate you and what you are saying and how you are.” But thankfully the feeling is always fleeting.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
When I am comforting my child. When I am completely present with a friend during their moment of need. When my husband plays with my boobs.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
My therapist in my early 30’s. She encouraged me to go to rehab for my eating disorder and AA for my binge drinking. She changed the trajectory of my life. She is the only medical professional I have said “I love you” to. She saved my life.
What is something you want to give up?
Not making time for self-care. I’m two years in with twins - I don’t eat right, exercise, or ever take time “for me.” But I’m starting to crumble. I’m kind of losing it. I need to find space for me to learn to love myself again.
What is something you want to take up?
Singing in the choir at church. I have always loved to sing, and music is how I feel closest to God.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Kindness, in the end, will always come back to you.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I read this quote from Bill Bryson’s book “A Short History of Nearly Everything” often to remind me of the miracle it is to be alive. I’ll share it below ❤️
“To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It’s an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once.”
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