Age: 28
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Researcher - Insurance Industry
Income: $130,000
Astrological Sign: Pisces
What is your first thought every morning?
I think about work, unfortunately. I work from home and the separation between work and home is non-existent. I wake up and the first thing I think of is that I have to get logged on and start prepping for my first meeting of the day.
What is something you do solely for you?
Photography - specifically nature and landscape photography. I am not the best at it, but it brings me peace and is a hobby that I thoroughly enjoy. I take photography trips to explore new areas through the lens of photography (mind the pun). Photography can be a solo or group act. I have done solo trips but have also gone on trips with friends and taken photos while we explore certain areas. It allows me to express myself, get creative, and is a way that I find peace.
What is something you dread?
Growing old and being forgotten.
What is something you are looking forward to?
I am taking a solo trip to Ireland later this month and I am so excited! I decided to stop waiting for others to join me on trips I’ve always wanted to go on and so I decided that I can do international trips by myself. I didn’t want to grow old and regret not taking trips just because I was waiting for someone to join me. Because if not now, then when?
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I help others. I can take my life experiences and all of my accomplishments and use that knowledge to help others. Whether that be using my education to volunteer to tutor high school students, using my personal experience to give advice to a friend, or using my work knowledge to help an intern at work. I can take what I have learned and help others in a positive way.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
My new car. I did not need to buy a new car that had all of the cool, fancy features. My previous car was fine. But now I have a big monthly payment for a car that I do not even drive often because I work from home.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
My previous relationship. I let the relationship continue on for way too long and put too much of myself into it. When the breakup inevitably happened, I felt like I lost a part of myself because I gave too much. I was investing in something I knew wasn’t going to last and it was so draining.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
1. Myself/Self-Care
2. Friends
3. Family
When do you feel most creative?
I feel the most creative when I am doing something that puts all of my worries and thoughts in my head at rest and the world becomes silent. I feel creative when hanging out with friends, traveling, when taking pictures/editing them, when I am working on a watercolor piece. I feel most creative when I am at peace and doing what I love.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Every day. I recently attended a work seminar on imposter syndrome. They talked about the cycle of confidence and how people experience different levels of confidence throughout their lifetime, both in their personal and professional lives. I experience imposter syndrome quite frequently and constantly compare myself to others. In terms of my personal life, a lot of people my age are getting engaged/married, announcing pregnancies, buying houses, etc. I often feel behind and that I am missing something in my life. In terms of my professional life, I compare myself to others around my age that are getting promoted, breaking into management, etc. I feel like I am surrounded by everyone announcing accomplishments and experiencing great things. I believe social media does have a part in this, but we are all products of our insecurities manifesting itself into our day-to-day lives. Even though I know that I am doing extremely well for myself, I cannot help comparing myself to others.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
For being so resilient. I have had to overcome many difficult situations and experienced a lot of trauma. In the moment, I did not think I could get through them. Looking back, I do not know how I got through them. But I did. I am so proud of my past self for being so strong. I would like to thank my past self and give them a hug.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I believe that my future self can get through any obstacle or hardship that is later put in my path.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
I am a product of being a parentified child. Parentification is when “a child takes on developmentally inappropriate levels of responsibility for their family’s emotional, physical, and/or mental well-being.” I was 12 when my first younger sibling was born. Now at 28, I have three siblings all under the age of 16 and my mother thinks of me more as a pseudo-co-parent than her own child. I have taken on a lot of different types of roles growing up and struggle with different relationships in my life due to this. I spent the majority of my life taking care of my younger siblings and mom; I often feel like the parent of my own mother and my siblings. From this, I have been subconsciously taught to always put others first and always take care of others. As an adult, I have had to re-train my brain to stop thinking of others first and start thinking about myself. I have had to learn to put myself first.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Major milestones. The birth of my siblings and holding them for the first time, submitting the last assignment for my masters degree, celebrating a friend on their own milestone, traveling.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
I think about my previous relationship that ended 1.5 years ago all the time. I don’t think about it in terms of I miss him/the relationship or reminisce on it. I think about what happened to me during that relationship and I do not think I will ever get over it. I am worried that I will never get over what happened to me, that it will stick with me forever, and that I will never be able to trust another man and be in another relationship. I am in therapy and working through the trauma but I have not told my friends or family that I still think about it constantly.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
I always joke with my friends that I have too much masculine energy. I think you can live and feel both feminine and masculine energy at the same time, but it’s all about understanding how to use both energies in balance to obtain the life you want. I am learning to be more in my feminine energy after years of being in “survival” mode and only being able to rely on myself. I feel most in my feminine energy when I slow down, be in the present, and take care of myself.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
Not one interaction, but therapy changed my life for the better. I will forever be thankful for the therapist that I found and her ability to help me work through the topics I bring up in my sessions.
What is something you want to give up?
I am working on no longer caring about what others think of me and comparing myself to others. I spend so much time thinking about this that I forget to appreciate the life I have made for myself.
What is something you want to take up?
Learning another language. I have spent a few months here and there over the years on the Duolingo app working on Spanish, French, and Japanese, but life eventually gets in the way. By the time I remember about the app I forgot all of the foundational lessons. I need to make more time for myself and work towards this goal.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Whatever happened, it happened for good.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I just moved states 8 months ago and I have been working on getting out of my apartment and meeting more people. I matched with some girls on Bumble BFF and we just met up for the first time last week! I am so excited to make more friends in the area and go out and do things with them. I am hosting a themed dinner party next month with everyone and I hope that we all fit well together and can become good friends! Making friends as an adult is so hard!
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