#116. situationships, a strong group of friends & going back to school

Age: 39

Relationship Status:  Single

Occupation:  Social Worker

Income: 73k/year

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius

What is your first thought every morning?

That I’m tired but need to get up and get ready for work. Chronic insomnia sufferer over here!

What is something you do solely for you?

Listen to music and dance in my living room.

What is something you dread?

Losing my parents. I can’t even think about it but I know it will be life-changing moments when these days come.

What is something you are looking forward to?

I turn 40 soon and am going on a trip with some friends to celebrate!

When do you feel most accomplished?

When I am able to cross a few items off my to-do list. It’s so satisfying!

What is something you regret investing in financially?

Buying a new vehicle. I’ve had nothing but problems with it since about a year after I purchased it brand new. The dealership nor headquarters of the company helped me and it made me never want to buy another car of that brand or recommend it to anyone. It’s been pretty disheartening, especially considering at the time I worked at the dealership I purchased it from.

What is something you regret investing in emotionally?

The person I have had a, for lack of a better word, situationship with for the past decade. It has been emotionally draining, especially in the first few years, and completely wrecked me in the beginning, to the point I couldn’t even recognize myself. It cost me a lot unfortunately and took a lot of work to crawl out of. I look at things in a completely different way now and the person is still in my life occasionally, but I wish I walked away in the beginning rather than give my time to someone who didn’t and still doesn’t really care about me outside when it’s convenient for him.

What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?

(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)

1. Getting lost in a great book.

2. A strong group of friends. I’m able to say I have this, and we have been through so much together. It feels amazing to know I have a core group of people in my corner.

3. Going back to school. I went back to part-time night school for my diploma when I was 29 and graduated when I was 33. I am wanting to apply to go back for my degree within the next couple years. It’s never too late!

When do you feel most creative?

I feel like I am not a creative person whatsoever.

How often do you compare yourself to others? When?

All the time, it’s a really bad habit and I’m actively trying to work on it. Oftentimes it’s at work, especially when the imposter syndrome is rearing its ugly head.

What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?

For being able to be independent. I’m proud of myself for being able to stand on my own two feet and not always have to rely on someone else.

What is one thing you believe about your future self?

I believe my future self will be ok and will find someone who loves me for me.

What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?

That marriage, owning a house, and having children before turning 30 aren’t what makes someone successful or worthy.

Have you ever felt pure joy? When?

Yes, when I’m belly laughing with friends or travelling.

What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?

I haven’t been in a real relationship in a long time and with how difficult dating and finding someone can be these days, I’m starting to feel I am hard to love or am unworthy of it. I haven’t told anyone this, as almost all of my friends are in relationships and usually just say something like “you’ll find someone” or “relationships are hard too” if ever we talk about something remotely close to this, so I haven’t opened up about it.

When do you feel most in your feminine energy?

When I dress up, contacts in, make up done well. It makes me feel beautiful.

What is one interaction that changed your life?

A few years ago, my sister and I went to a talk and book signing with the author of, “A House in the Sky”. Her story of survival and resilience is heartbreaking yet incredible. Seeing her and hearing her talk about her healing journey was inspirational.

What is something you want to give up?

Being addicted to my phone. It’s a tough habit to break.

What is something you want to take up?

I want to learn to cook well. I would love to be able to make meals I enjoy and cook for friends and family.

What do you believe is a universal truth?

That life is short so don’t let someone talk you out of doing something you want. Take the trip, learn a new skill, go back to school, wear the skinny jeans – do whatever makes you happy and don’t let age or society tell you otherwise.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

My sister and I are slowly mending our strained relationship and it feels good! I’ve missed her.