Age: 30
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Self-Development Coach and Author
Income: Depends on how many clients I have at any given time/books I sell.
Astrological Sign: Scorpio Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aries Rising
(with a Scorpio and 8th house stellium…yes, it’s intense)
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
I check my phone to see if I missed any important calls, texts, or emails. Then, I immediately brush my teeth, make a cup of coffee, and sit to do the Wordle and NYT Connections while I drink it.
Have you ever felt genuine fulfillment? When?
I feel genuinely fulfilled after any productive, profound, or deep conversation I have. Hence, why I love my job – I feel very fulfilled when I get off the phone with a client.
What is your most repetitive, negative thought?
That no one cares about me and/or that I am no one’s priority.
There are definitely some deep childhood wounds there, but I also find myself looking around at 30 and realizing that almost everyone in my life has a spouse and/or a child whom they prioritize (as they should). As someone who doesn’t want either of those things and lives a very independent life, it can feel like no one is ever really thinking of me unless they need something from me.
What is your most repetitive, positive thought?
That everything works out the way it is supposed to and that I trust myself to handle whatever happens next.
What is one thing that surprised you about adulthood?
That cheese and paper towels are so expensive and that there are so many different ways of doing things. The way that things were presented to me in childhood seemed very linear and black and white when in reality, life twists and turns, and there is so much grey area.
What are three things you want to put every woman onto?
Currently…
1. Anything Renee Rapp and Sabrina Carpenter
3. “Radical Acceptance” by, Tara Brach PHD
Rank the following from most to least important:
money, food, sex, love, and laughter (feel free to explain or don’t).
Laughter, Sex, Love, Money, Food
I need to laugh on a very regular basis; growing up around lots of silliness and sarcasm in my house, I seek humor in everything as an adult. Sex and love go hand in hand in my book and are equally valued. I’ve never been motivated by money and am quite uncomfortable with the idea of work/worth/things/time/energy having an assigned value. Lastly, I have many food allergies, so food is a pain in the ass for me – I do love to cook, though, for myself and the people I love.
How has your relationship with your parents/ guardians changed in adulthood?
I am both relieved and disappointed to realize that my parents are also just other human beings, doing their best. I left my house at 18 and have been on my own since, so sometimes I feel like the parent; other times, I want someone to just take care of me. I have found that empathy and communication go a long way in relationships, and a large part of being an adult has been about being open and vulnerable while also instilling boundaries. I work on having good relationships with my immediate family every day.
When do you feel most like yourself?
When I am alone.
What is the best compliment someone has ever given you?
The nicest thing someone can say to me is that I am a good listener and that they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts/feelings and opening up to me because they don’t feel like I am/will judge them.
On a more surface level, my most received compliment is that I smell good, which also makes me happy because hygiene is very, very, VERY important to me.
How do you feel about falling in love?
I feel fine about it. Romantic relationships aren’t central to my life; I’m very good at compartmentalizing. That said, I’ve had a lot of love in my life – sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. I’m currently trying to redefine what a loving, romantic relationship looks like and how it fits into my life, mostly because I’m not a traditional person, and what everyone else is doing doesn’t seem very appealing to me.
What is one thing you’re sick of hearing?
I’m sick of hearing about the latest diet fad or ‘life-changing’ supplement. Everyone should absolutely do what is right for them…and the rest of us should absolutely not have to hear about it.
How often do you feel alone?
I feel alone a lot, but I don’t feel lonely often. I spend a lot of time by myself, and I love it. I love my own company; I like to sit with my thoughts and be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I only feel lonely when I feel misunderstood, underappreciated, or overwhelmed by daily tasks.
What is one thing you hope everyone experiences in their lifetime?
I hope that everyone experiences tears of joy.
I also hope everyone gets to experience a true best friend, who accepts you exactly as you are and who’s loyalty you never have to question.
Physical and emotional intimacy.
Lastly, a New England summer.
What is one thing you hope no one has to experience in their lifetime?
I hope that no one experiences existential dread.
What is the best decision you’ve ever made?
Moving to New York City.
When do you feel most at ease?
Currently, when I am doing Soulcycle or Pilates – both are 100% for me and make me feel like the strongest mental and physical version of myself. Plus, I love any place that doesn’t allow phones.
I also feel very at ease when I am writing, it is my catharsis.
What does having a successful life mean to you?
To me, a successful life means being able to do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want. My understanding of success is mostly about making decisions that keep me free and allow me to be the most authentic version of myself.
How often do you think about your body?
Probably every day. I try to keep all internal dialogue about my body positive, but I grew up in an environment that was very body-conscious, so I have to constantly override the old stories I’ve been told and have taken on as my own. I’d like to get to a place where I am just grateful for my physical form and have no thoughts beyond that; true self-acceptance is something I work on daily.
When do you ask for help?
Not nearly often enough.
What is something you feel strongly about?
That women should have autonomy over their bodies.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Everyone I have ever known eventually gets some version of what they have always wanted or spoken about wanting. The moral of the story is to have a vision for your life, think about it often, and speak it into existence.
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